yally said:
Free rep till they run out for each pool quote posted!
You want a few one liners from this forum? Here ya go:
-For an easy run
"I AM OUT LIKE A FAT KID IN DODGE BALL!"
-After the break in 8-ball, before choosing high or low ball, some guy says "What do you want to be when you lose?"
-When someone follows the cue ball in on a straight shot, "You have the delicate touch and innate sensitivity of a blacksmith's apprentice." Or, "don't worry about it, next week we'll go bowling and all that finesse will come in handy."
-"The only stroke you could ever fall in is the kind that causes paralysis."
-After your opponent shoots and jumps back and misses his shot, ask, "Was that your stroke or a muscle spasm?"
-"I've seen better leaves on dead trees."
-Keith McCready was competing at the U.S. Open, and he needed to win the next match or get knocked out of the tournament.
His opponent won the lag for the first break and shot out like a rocket. Racing the 11, the score was 10-zip in what seemed like minutes. It's one of the few times I've seen Keith quiet as a church mouse, helplessly benched.
Finally, the opponent missed, allowing Keith to hit his first ball. You could hear a pin drop, the room was so quiet. Keith ran the remaining three balls on the table for the win. Returning to his chair, he looked over at his opponent and said, "Well, are you scared yet?"
The whole audience busted out laughing!
Timing is everything!
-I?ve always liked ? You couldn?t play dead in a western.
-During a night out at the local bar, I was playing pretty poorly. As usual, some one was watching and decided that this was a good time to play for a drink. I could not make a ball.....so I said to the guy "I suck more than a hooker in Atlantic City at midnight." The guy busted out laughing.
Later, after winning (apparently there was too much blood in my alcohol stream causing me to stink), the guy looks at me with a funny look, and I responded by saying "Never said the hooker was cheap"
-"You just ran nine racks but you won't give me a spot?"
"I can't; I haven't seen you shoot yet." ~ anonymous pool hall banter
-after your opponent rattles one........
"yup........if it's got tit's or tire's, sooner or later your gonna have a problem with it."
-The match is hill-hill and my opponent absolutely DOGS the 7-ball leaving me an easy out for the win.
He walks over to his chair next to my Dad as I am mopping up and says "I don't know what happened there." My father replied, "What happened is there is no pocket where you shot that ball."
-Those rails are deader than disco....
-If I leave someone in a tough spot I'll say " Now your out, OUT OF OPTIONS!".
-After you opponents crappy break:
"maybe you should take your heels off for better footing"
-After slopping or rattling the game ball, or close to it:
"Like your mom said when you were born, it may be ugly but I'll take it."
-When a player wants a game and asks me for weight -
My response is, "Sure, how long do you want?"
They say, "How long? What do you mean how long?"
My response, "I will WAIT until you step up and play even!"
-"someone call 911, I feel a stroke coming on..."
-"These tight pockets are like my speedos, you can't fit 2
balls in at a time!!
-While at the Reno open in the practice room, a big
time gambler (more noted for his woofin' to get his prey to bite)
he was barking at everyone in the room. After much ranting
and raving he looked at a small group of bystanders and made
direct eye contact with one of them. The guy being confronted
was wearing a dirty baseball cap, wore glasses and looked
like he hadn't slept in days.
The woofer says, "Hey you, I'll bet you won't put up 10
bucks and play any game!"
The guy responds, "Don't look at me, I had to give blood
just to get a bus ticket up here."
-Guy they called Sunnyvale Gary was playing some champion
from Mexico 9Ball and the guy was running out like rainwater
, every time Gary tried to safe him, the fellow would make a
spectacular kick. The guy from Mexico breaks, the cue ball
jumps the table and lands right by Gary's foot. Gary nudges
the ball a couple of inches with his foot and says "push out
- your shot".
-Danny Medina was playing a local shortstop 9Ball and when
Danny broke, the cue ball was going straight up in the air.
The shortstop yells out "if the cue ball hits the lights it's
dead". Danny looks over, smiles, and says "partner, if I can
make the cue ball hit the lights, the only thing dead is your
money".
-Few years ago, a backer comes in with his young protege; a
9Ball match is made, and the road kid gets stuck the first 8
games. The kid starts roughing up the tip on his break cue;
the backer looks over, shakes his head and says: "Son, ats
lak puttin' new tars on a car what don't got no engine".
Priceless.
-Stay focused on the object ball, not the screwball.
-When a younger person is shooting and not making balls I'll
walk over, grab their cue and check it out and say "Dude, this
is a left handed cue"
I'm am sometimes hesitant and a little bit limited on the forum, being able to relay stories about another in explicit detail. 
