Share Your Favorite Pool Hall Quips!

I know someone else said this too, but if someone calls a time out during our league play, and if they are left hooked badly, I'll come to the table, and just give them the " yea your fukked "


I anytime i slop a ball in or get that miracle shape for the out, and my opponent says something, i'll give him the " I'll be signing autographs in the shytter when we are done " line.
 
I always hear this. "You got robbed."

This one makes me smile when I try an insane/hail mary shot that I almost make. "That's still a good shot."
 
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Those rails are deader than disco....

The pockets are tighter than a frogs ass under water.

I saw that one on ESPN (after slopping a 3 rail poke and hope)

That guy has a stroke that's slicker than a buttered cat.

I meant to do that....

I did call that shot....

McCue Banger McCue
 
From a local old-timer (who used to play REAL good) after slopping in a ball, "Scientifically calculated!"

From a NYC player (who will remain unnamed) after robbing a fish, "Will you be here tomorrow, Sir?"
 
After my very first break/run in an 8 Ball tournament, I turned to the group of players watching, and exclaimed: "Now THAT is better than sex!!" I had the whole place rollin'.:D

Lisa
 
I have heard a ton of good ones, some on here.

Last night I was playing a match, and I am just coming back from a long layoff, and was playing well below the norm. Anyway, I did manage one paticular great shot. I had my cue almost frozen to the rail , and only had a bank on the four. I play the bank ( not really even expecting to pocket it) the bank falls and the cueball goes two rails and gradually rolls to perfect position between the five and six which are literally about two and a half balls apart and on the rail. The cue ball stops in place without even touching the rail. I just looked at my opponent and said " I am taking pre orders on my video, it'll be out next month". I know someone else said pretty much the same thing earlier, I just wanted to brag about my shot that was still fresh in my mind!

When I slop in a really obcene shot, I will say " I'll teach you that shot, as soon as I learn it" Or " And now for my next trick" or "Where's an ESPN camera when ya need it!"

If I leave someone in a tough spot I'll say " Now your out, OUT OF OPTIONS!".

I still remember one night many years ago, I was playing a fairly high ( for us at the time) money game with a player from another room. I was representing our pool room and he was there with a group from his. There were a lot of railbirds standing by, and a lot of people interested in the outcome. It was at the end of a pretty close set, and he left me real tough on the seven. The seven was sitting near the headspot and the cueball was at the far end of the table, with the nine directly in line, blocking my path to it. I knew I was probably about to give my opponent a ball in hand three ball runout. I proclaimed loud enough for everyone to hear " Cool, my favorite shot!". I got down to give it my best effort anyway. I kicked that ball in dead center of the pocket, the cueball rolls into a perfectposition on the correct side of the eight. The place went crazy. Although I was totally being sarcastic, and really just trying to get a hit on the seven, I spoke that line with enough confidence that a lot of people who did not know me well enough actually questioned if I was serious! I still stand by the fact that I make that shot 9 out of 10 times.:D
 
"When in doubt, ride the nine!" Buffalo Bill going for slop.

Getting drilled by Little Jeff "Bend over, I'm driving!".

A drunken Englishman missing a hanger, in a Shakespearian tone "Hence we get the expression.... 'shit' !"

Ronnie Allen " You take that money you won off me and buy some books, so you don't end up like me. Now get outta here kid!".
 
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I was playing the other day at a friends house at made the nine on the break. I said" that's a lot easier, I should just do that everytime". It is from the movie Happy Gilmore when he makes the hole in one and says the line.
 
From Danny DiLiberto:

I asked if there is ever a time you want to shoot the 14.1 break shot with very hard draw (to head rail and back toward foot rail). He said, "sure, whenever you don't like money." He has also answered on occasion, "sure, whenever you want to break your backer's heart."

From Steve Mizerak:
I saw Steve miss a very easy shot, when asked why, he said, "well, I just had a temporary memory lapse....I forgot how to shoot pool."

From everybody in my league if you make a really lucky or really tough shot:

"Can I have your autograph?"
 
When you're playing someone that thinks they should drill you: "You couldn't beat me if you had two cue sticks in your hand"

When you've just beaten someone and they get pi$$ed off: "It's better to be pi$$ed off than pi$$ed on"
 
shannon the cannon

Sorry if this one has been posted already but i got sick of reading... Shannon daulton was playing a match race to five lost the flip and the guy put a 5 pack on him... after the match a buddy of shannon's walked over to him and goes "what happened?" shannon replied "I dogged the flip"
 
Tracy Joe, after he hooked me the 4th time in a row and I kicked safe for the 4th time in a row:

This guy kicks like a mule.

Me, after someone makes a perfect break and it's an easy out:

Stevie Wonder could get out from here.
 
a couple o' quickies:

your opponent makes a tough shot and leaves another tough shot:
"What else ya got?"
"3 or 4 more like that and you're out!"

playing a ring game and one opponent leaves another one an easy out:
"I forget, what were the teams again?"

-s
 
Oh yeah, lately when I slop in a ball, I've been saying:

"Sheesh, I almost missed that ball."
 
When you miss and leave someone an easy out.
"My Grandma could get out from here. But she could play."
 
> This one came about as a result of late-night boredom. Several of us are standing around at The Rack in Memphis,back before the casinos in Tunica got into full swing. The action present was too tough for me to jump into,and I had already been hitting balls for 4-5 hours that night. I'm sitting around one of the "popcorn poker" tables with a couple of the local heavies and an unknown road player comes in. He looks around,then goes back outside to get his cue case. He comes back in and walks over to the group and asks if anyone wants to play a 5-ahead for 100,and this older guy I only knew as Gordy the Schon dealer looks up. Gordy had this gift of saying insanely funny things in kind of a dry,straight-faced way,that made you think for a couple seconds before falling out of your chair laughing. Gordy looks at him,and says "hell man,around here we play 100-ahead for 5". I ROLLED. Tommy D.
 
After an amazing and elaborate slop shot:
"just a little something for the folks watching at home"

After you opponents crappy break:
"dang, did ya hit that with your purse?"
-or-
"maybe you should take your heels off for better footing"
 
After slopping or rattling the game ball, or close to it:

"Like your mom said when you were born, it may be ugly but I'll take it."
 
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