SmorgassBored UPDATE

Smorgass Bored said:
I'm very weak and tired and my mind is rambling, but I'd like to address some of the posts as I'm able. Please bear with me in my attempts to make sense.

To my friend RubyRon, I received the 2 shirts that you sent with the AZB logo and Smorgass Bored on them and they look and feel great and they FIT. Thank You.

Special thanks to JoeyA. for calling me in the hospital and reading some of the posts to me. They made me laugh aloud and cheered me up in my darkest moments.

I wish I'd had a nurse like the scantilly clad candy stripped one depicted in aka Trigger's avatar. The hospital staff was great, but one nurse appeared to have been serving in WW I and her head, arms and hands had a terrible uncontrolable shaking. She would awaken me at 2:00 and 4:00 a.m. to draw draw blood......standing there with this huge needle and trying to touch a vein in my elbow with her shaking finger. Finally, she'd pick out a spot and then zoom in with that shaking needle and miss the spot by an inch or two. After 5-6 attempts, I'd call a foul on her and she'd scurry off to locate a butterfly needle and take a shot at hitting one of the veins on the back of my hand. It was as if she were playing Whack-A-Mole and eventually she would hit one, just by blind luck and the power of prayer.

On the 3rd morning, I remarked to the nurse on duty that I'd never eaten hot, grey, Jello, but that it was pretty good and I'd eaten it all. She told that it was scrambled egg. Oy-Vey !

The Chaplain came in and asked me if I'd like to pray with him him. I said, "SURE."
He asked me if there was anything particular that I'd like to pray for and I said REP. He said that he was non-denominational and didn't pray for one political party over another. I said, "no, green Rep boxes, I am DuneCat and I control the spice."
You'd have thought that my head was spinning around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist, as he quicly made the sign of the cross, mumbled something and fled for greener pastures.

Doug

Glad you got the administrative crap behind you and are getting the attention youv'e earned. Your nurse (shaky Sharon?) sounds like a nightmare, hopefully your done with her.

Did they let you take the morphine pump home?

Get healthy, DAMNIT!!
 
Man glad to see you up and about and at home your the fastest way to rep points that I know ... ;) Your, your own worst enemy seeing that when you give rep it counts for so much... Hang around Doug I have not been here long enough to spend Christmas with you and look forward to it this year.

My family use to be close to and we would spend all the holidays together. My Dad passed a week or so after my birthday in July of 2003 and it has not been the same since especially at the holidays ... We still get together but it is short and sweet and then we go home ... My son is grown moved back in recently but is hoping to get his own place again soon I'm only helping him out for now. So it is back to the world I know of holidays with my pool playing friends and these message boards. Get to see my family some on holidays but not much ... One bright spot is my new born grandson now 4 months old... He loves to hang out in my pool room I think he loves the colors of the balls and the colors in the light over the table... lol...

But please hang around and I will make a point of making sure I spend some time on here come Thansgiving and Christmas ... Just to spend the holidays with you ... I promise you that much ... I hope you live up to your end also ... :dance:
 
Dunecat, keep diggin' your way outta that hole! Thanks for touching base. Even in your most difficult shape, you still give the 6 and out here. I'm wishing and praying for your comfort, strength, and wisdom my friend!
 
Smorgass Bored said:
The V.A. Hospital:

Two months ago I rushed to the VA hospital ER with congestive heart failure and filled out all the paperwork and was treated and eventually released.

I was later notified that I wasn't eligible for VA assistance because my wife's income was above the regional and local "financial means threshold" and as a Priority 8, I wouldn't be allowed health care (as the VA had stopped taking Priority 8s in 2003).

I was in much pain and difficulty for the past couple of weeks and had nowhere to turn, so I called a Patient Advocate (who's name & number I'd read in a newspaper article) and she said that if we had deducted our medical expenses and health care COBRA premiums for 2007, that there was a 'chance' that I might squeak below the threshold.

The ER doctors said that they weren't concerned with the paperwork aspect of saving my live. After treatment in the ER. I was sent for a CAT Scan with some dye injected in my arm. After that test, I was sent to ECHO test lab and it was inconclusive due to my weight.

The next day, I was sent to T.E.E. (I can't remember what that stands for right now) and told that I would be required to gargle and swallow some throat numbing liquid and then I would be anethisized to sleep, while they pushed a tube down my throat to check out my heart and lungs.

Well, because of my weight, they decided that it was too dangerous to put me under for the procedure, so they had me gargle with 2 doses of numbing mouthwash and then they shoved this garden hose (with the nozzle still attached and the sprinkler system on) down my throat.

They moved it up, down, around, in & out and so deep that I thought they'd decided to examine my rectum from the inside. The whole while they were doing this, they told me that I couldn't move, cough, gag or try to talk. They moved the tube around for 46 minutes and when they'd finished, they said that I was the most well behaved patient they'd ever had (I told them to give me REP) :)

It turns out that the aortic heart valve that I had replaced in 2004 had a leak and they discoved a 2nd leak in my heart, causing the fluid in my lungs. They determined that another open heart surgery was too dangerous for me and are attemting to treat my leaky heart with medicine. They also discovered that my heart was weak and not beating strongly. That too is being treated with medicine.

My wife spent much time with the Patient Advocate and with her tireless help filling out the forms, re-submitting them to the Eligibilty Dept. and walking with my wife from office to office, they looked at the new figures and determied that I would be allowed coverage and placed in group Priority5.

I've been sent home and scheduled for upcoming appointments with the Cardiologist and a Primary Care physician.

I'm tired, but I want to try to address Big Truck's thread as soon as I'm able.

Thanks to all of you,
Doug


.


Smorg: I am so very happy that you're under proper treatment and medication and that the VA thing is turning your way.

Somewhere along the line I think I read in one of these Smorg related threads that some of you just know Smorg as the Green Rep God of AZ, who gets off a good one now and then. But he's been kicking around the internet pool halls for a long time and has friends all over the country, to whom he has played the kind and gracious host when folks have traveled to his stomping grounds down in Tampa. On one of my trips there he not only got the local pool room to open up early to accommodate my schedule, but there were fresh donuts and coffee akimbo. Then he proceeded to give me a lesson in the finer points of 1pocket :-)

In fact, Smorg has been around so long that he was an RSB member in high standing, back when that was cool. And whenever I think of Smorg, I think of the infamous evening, told in a post of his some half a dozen years ago on RSB, entitled "How High the Bet." It's a classic...

(*<~ It was on my way home from New Orleans two weeks ago ......
<insert flashback music here>
I stopped at my brother's workplace and was talked into spending two
days at Spring Break assisting the young girls in their wet T-shirt
competitions and bikini contests. Man, I've still got it and so do they.
Anyway, it seems that brother lives ON THE BEACH (about 100' to the
surf) of the Gulf of Mexico in a beautiful 3 bedroom home will ALL the
amenities (I'd like to swap places with him- including significant
other). He lives just east of Panama City in a little beach community
called St. Joe Beach. There is a place there (within crawling distance
of the house) called "Regan's Pub & Oyster Bar" Est. Nov.14th 2000
157,920 Oyster's Shucked (when the t-shirt was printed).
After a hard day of rubbing up against nubile young things in Panama
City we ended up at Regan's depleting their oyster stock and keeping the
'shucker' employed.
The bar area had a 4x8 pooltable and the proximity to the beach and the
breeze had it in the lower 50?. I had on my Planet 9-Ball jacket with
the BIG logo of a planet that looks like a 9-ball (duh). All the locals
wanted to challenge my brother and I to some partners 8-ball and we
obliged. We won every game for hours, no matter what rules they made up
along the way. We stopped to take a break and eat MORE oysters and one
of the players asked me what I 'did' in Tampa. I told him that I was a
professional pool player (my brother almost blew an oyster out of his
nose). This fellow named Jim-Bob wanted to play me heads up. I told him
that I'd play, but I wouldn't play cheap. He told me that he didn't care
WHAT we played for as he racked the balls and I prepared to break.
I'd told him that I was called Tampa Tubby and as I smashed the balls
I exclaimed that I was playing him for his 'Bob'. At first, he thought
that I was kidding, but as it dawned on him that I was serious he became
VERY nervous. All activity stopped in the building as EVERYONE came to
sweat this game. The most serious game to ever take place in St. Joe
Beach,Fl. I got down to the eightball and Jim-Bob said that I had to
'bank it' AND we were also playing last pocket 8-ball. I'd made my last
ball in the side pocket and was in trouble with the way his balls were
laying on the table. When I asked if I could play the eight off of one
of his balls and he said yes, I kicked the eight from near the end rail
and off his ball into 'my' side pocket. GAME OVER. I'd won 'the Bob'.
Everyone laughed and cheered while now calling me "Tampa Tubby-Bob".
At the same time,everyone now called Jim-Bob simply JIM. Jim was
devasted. It was sinking in that he had lost his 'Bob' and he didn't
like it one little bit. People were now calling him 'Bobless' and his
boss (who was present) threatened to fire him and make him 'Jobless
Bobless'. He's been 'Bobbited'. He wanted a re-match. I said NO. I told
him that I would return in exactly one year and play him ONE GAME and an
opportunity to win his 'Bob' back.
I've spoken to my brother a few times since I've left St. Joe Beach
and he assures me NOONE has called him Jim-Bob since he lost and that
the word has spread up & down the beach.
They're planning a big 'special day' for next year and my return. I'm
thinking about breaking out my sling,walker, eye-patch, etc. to make it
REALLY exciting.
I know that I dance to beat of a different drum (at least I didn't
insist that he throw in a moon pie), but everyone seems to like it (so
far). I didn't get a BOP on the nose. Life is good. Does it get any
better than this ?

Tampa Tubby-Bob


Keep dancin' to that drum, Smorg.

Lou Figueroa
 
Glad to hear your home Doug. Hospitals are like bars at 3 am. when anything looks like a 10. In the hospital they send in the real 10's at first when your feeling too bad to do anything. As soon as you start feeling a little better the quality goes down 987654, and shake rattle and roll with a needle. Get back in action soon. Johnnyt
 
This is one of the BEST stories I have ever read. You are so cool...:cool:
Thanks... "Tampa Tubby Bob!" (aka Smorgie, aka Spice Man, aka Doug, aka Dune cat)
Thanks for sharing Lou

lfigueroa said:
Smorg: Somewhere along the line I think I read in one of these Smorg related threads that some of you just know Smorg as the Green Rep God of AZ..............RSB, entitled "How High the Bet." It's a classic...
by SMORGIE
(*<~ It was on my way home from New Orleans two weeks ago ......
<insert flashback music here>
I stopped at my brother's workplace and was talked into spending two days at Spring Break assisting the young girls in their wet T-shirt competitions and bikini contests. Man, I've still got it and so do they.

Anyway, it seems that brother lives ON THE BEACH (about 100' to the surf) of the Gulf of Mexico in a beautiful 3 bedroom home will ALL the amenities (I'd like to swap places with him- including significant other). He lives just east of Panama City in a little beach community called St. Joe Beach.

There is a place there (within crawling distance of the house) called "Regan's Pub & Oyster Bar" Est. Nov.14th 2000 157,920 Oyster's Shucked (when the t-shirt was printed). After a hard day of rubbing up against nubile young things in Panama City we ended up at Regan's depleting their oyster stock and keeping the 'shucker' employed.

The bar area had a 4x8 pooltable and the proximity to the beach and the breeze had it in the lower 50?. I had on my Planet 9-Ball jacket with the BIG logo of a planet that looks like a 9-ball (duh). All the locals wanted to challenge my brother and I to some partners 8-ball and we obliged.

We won every game for hours, no matter what rules they made up along the way. We stopped to take a break and eat MORE oysters and one of the players asked me what I 'did' in Tampa. I told him that I was a professional pool player (my brother almost blew an oyster out of his nose). This fellow named Jim-Bob wanted to play me heads up. I told him that I'd play, but I wouldn't play cheap. He told me that he didn't care WHAT we played for as he racked the balls and I prepared to break. I'd told him that I was called Tampa Tubby and as I smashed the balls I exclaimed that I was playing him for his 'Bob'.

At first, he thought that I was kidding, but as it dawned on him that I was serious he became VERY nervous. All activity stopped in the building as EVERYONE came to sweat this game. The most serious game to ever take place in St. Joe Beach,Fl. I got down to the eightball and Jim-Bob said that I had to 'bank it' AND we were also playing last pocket 8-ball. I'd made my last ball in the side pocket and was in trouble with the way his balls were laying on the table. When I asked if I could play the eight off of one of his balls and he said yes, I kicked the eight from near the end rail and off his ball into 'my' side pocket. GAME OVER. I'd won 'the Bob'.

Everyone laughed and cheered while now calling me "Tampa Tubby-Bob". At the same time,everyone now called Jim-Bob simply JIM. Jim was devasted. It was sinking in that he had lost his 'Bob' and he didn't like it one little bit. People were now calling him 'Bobless' and his boss (who was present) threatened to fire him and make him 'Jobless Bobless'. He's been 'Bobbited'. He wanted a re-match. I said NO. I told him that I would return in exactly one year and play him ONE GAME and an opportunity to win his 'Bob' back.

I've spoken to my brother a few times since I've left St. Joe Beach and he assures me NOONE has called him Jim-Bob since he lost and that the word has spread up & down the beach. They're planning a big 'special day' for next year and my return. I'm thinking about breaking out my sling,walker, eye-patch, etc. to make it REALLY exciting.

I know that I dance to beat of a different drum (at least I didn't insist that he throw in a moon pie), but everyone seems to like it (so far). I didn't get a BOP on the nose. Life is good. Does it get any better than this ?

Tampa Tubby-Bob

Keep dancin' to that drum, Smorg. Lou Figueroa
 
Should take care of things . . .

akaTrigger said:
Smorgie! You're home! Yay! It's always good to be home. :)

The nurse in my avatar called - she wanted me to let you know she makes house calls. ;)


That visit should kill him or cure him anyway. After years of going to doctors I realized the wisdom of the statement that there are more old drunks than old doctors. Now I just go to a bar and buy an old drunk a few drinks when I am feeling poorly. After listening to his woes for an hour or so mine pale in comparison and I feel great!

A lot cheaper than going to a doctor and buying the pills they push but for some reason my prescription drug plan doesn't see things my way. I keep sending them my bar tab and they keep refusing to pay it!

Hu
 
You know, i feel like such an ass for not noticing this thread up till now.
CHF is pretty serious stuff.

Smorgass Bored, i wish you the speediest of recoveries.

Get well soon buddy.
 
I am all outa green till the year 2525 so behave yourself till then.
Glad you won your battle with the VA, now win your battle with
the heart. Anything you want let me know.
hugs
ps the avatar isn't as pretty as the rest, I think I screwed up, but
it's the thought that counts.
hugs
<<<< those are flowers on the bottom, and I copied another's
(bigtruck) so i inked it out so they didn't sue me. LOL
 
Smorgass Bored said:
The V.A. Hospital:




Doug, I certainly do not know where you get the energy to even post. Please get your rest, and don't push yourself, hopefully the medical procedures and medicine prescribed will be of some help, until you are strong enough for additional Surgery. You have certainly been missed around here and the pouring out of the forum members makes that very clear.

My wife spent much time with the Patient Advocate and with her tireless help filling out the forms, re-submitting them to the Eligibility Dept. and walking with my wife from office to office, they looked at the new figures and determined that I would be allowed coverage and placed in group Priority.

I also glad that some of the problems you were having with the VA have been resolved. It sounds like you truly found a Patient Advocate who takes her job very seriously and most of all does all she can to make things happen kinda like the Soldiers we use to be!!!!!:)

Doug, take care of yourself and get your strength back.:)

Very Respectfully

Craig w. Rittel
 
Smorgass Bored said:
The Chaplain came in and asked me if I'd like to pray with him him. I said, "SURE."
He asked me if there was anything particular that I'd like to pray for and I said REP. He said that he was non-denominational and didn't pray for one political party over another. I said, "no, green Rep boxes, I am DuneCat and I control the spice." You'd have thought that my head was spinning around like Linda Blair in The Exorcist, as he quicly made the sign of the cross, mumbled something and fled for greener pastures.

Doug
LMAO Doug!!!! Get well man!!!!!
 
Smorgass Bored, this site totally sucks without you. You are the funniest poster on AZ.

No one wants to respond without supporting the most popular poster on AZ.

Hope you get better, and BTW, I don't want your rep!!!!!

You've given me enough!


I just want you to keep posting here, and making me laugh!

You rock, dude!!
 
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Is there any misunderstanding about who is the leader of "the gang that's great for you and me"?
 
Glad your home

Smorgass Bored said:
I am home now and don't know where to begin, my thoughts are disjointed. I'm a tough guy and a street fighter, but I'm not embarrassed to say that reading through these many posts made me cry. Your thoughts, prayers, comments and jokes have touched my heart and I am forever indebted to you all for your outpouring of kindness.

I come from a huge family of grandparents, parents, aunts & uncles and extended family and we spent all the holidays as a family at one relatives house or another. My family is all gone now and I am the elder remaining member. We no longer are a close knit family that gathers at holidays and I have spent the past 11 years spending all holidays with my online family of friends. The friendship and support of my AZB friends has made me glad to have spent my time with you all and has repaid me tenfold.

I thank you all, from the bottom of my faulty heart.
Doug

Now your making me cry too. I wished you lived closer to Rochester. You are always welcome in my home for the Holidays or just a visit. Hang in there my friend.
 
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