First, I assume we are talking about a competitive matchup, with real competitive emotions involved. If it’s just a friendly, who cares either way what happens.
A story from a long time ago. After my opponent played safe and left me locked up, I barely missed on a slow rolling three-rail kick, giving him ball-in-hand. I said ball-in-hand, as he jumped up to approach the table and he did not acknowledge my statement. He left the cue ball where it was and began calculating his move. After about 30 seconds I said, hey bill, just making sure you know it’s bih. He gave me a glare and said, yeah I know. He looked back at the table and then started mumbling about me breaking his concentration. He walked back to his chair, towels down and approached the table again. He wholly thought I was sharking him. He even complained about it after the match. Since that time, I rarely say anything to my opponent after he has approached the table. And I don’t feel like a scumbag because of it.
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I've seen a couple situations like this unfold and it's very unfortunate, but it's an unfortunate reality. Like I think someone else mentioned, I've also tried to warn someone where I thought they were about to shoot the wrong ball and after I said something, it turned out my opponent was about 4 shots ahead, just lining up a safe or something. Even informing my opponent I would like to get a ref for the next shot, if they shoot the shot they are looking at or I think they are going to shoot, is touchy. In my experience, even if you are real polite about it, if the person is in a bad head space because they just hooked themselves or something, they may be grumpy about it. Regardless, in some situations you have to call one over if you think they aren't going to do it or request it like some do.
So to sum it up, I wholeheartedly agree about not saying anything or approaching the table unless absolutely necessary. I've shot the wrong ball in 8ball and 9ball, even in big moments more times than I can count. I've never once felt it was my opponents fault. Hell, one time in a league match apparently mid game I switched from stripes to solids and my opponent didn't notice and we played the game out like that. Apparently, everyone on both teams knew, but felt they couldn't tell us, so they just let us finish the game out and score it as it was when we finished. No one took issue with it and it made for a good laugh. The thing is, I wasn't even surprised. I'm sure this was more of me drinking beer and talking or something and not paying attention. Sometimes I'm not paying good enough attention and other times in rotation, if I'm really locked in, sometimes I just space a ball out on the table. I was playing Shane McMinn at a big 9ball tourney in a race to 7, it was 5-5 and I was at the table running out. I was about halfway through the rack and just made a real nice position shot with inside spin going a couple rails and weaving between balls. After the shot, Shane said, did you shot the 8 ball or whatever it was and I said, yes I think so. Then he pointed at what should have been my next ball and I shrugged my shoulders and he took ball in hand. Not his fault, even if he knew or thought I was lining up for the wrong ball. This case was more of me being locked in too and not a case of me not paying attention. If I remember right, the previous rack was an early combo, so we had high balls on the table too and the 13ball or something was probably the 9ball in this game. So I just spaced a ball. I lost a little sleep over it since he ran like 3 or 4 balls and won the game and then broke and ran, but it happens sometimes. I shot the wrong ball once in a big regional event too through the ACUI, but did end up winning that match so it didn't cost me. My fault in all these situations and only my fault.