The funniest excuse you ever heard from poolplayer when they lost

I won't mention names

My nuts were wwaaayyy too sweaty. Just didn't feel comfortable.

But my Nephew was playing a young player {who a short time later was a really well known pro player} at a tourney in Ohio. The guy was up 5 to 4 in a race to 7, and went after a hard combo on the 9. Missed it badly and my Nephew won the game, broke and made the 9, and then ran out for the win. The young guy was telling his friend, "I was out of quarters, thats why I played the combo, cause I didn't wanna go get any change. " So, he lost the match, because he was out of quarters.
 
I witnessed this recently, the guy said that he forgot he was getting
the 8. He missed the 8 because he tried to get position on the 9. How
can you forget your spot?
 
"The rails are frozen!"

"The table is not heavy enough, it needs to weigh atleast 2000 pounds."

"They need to put heaters under the table."

"Its the building, I played in building like this before... yeah I remember it was at Turning stone."

Earl Strickland

If TAR has that match I would just buy it to laugh, funniest/craziest pool excuses I have ever heard in life. :grin:
the worst part about this one...Earl actually won that game...lol...I'm still laughing. I'd love to have this on hand so when I'm down and need a laugh I could watch it over and over again!
 
excuse

I didn't wear any underwear today and my zipper kept rubbing me the wrong way.....Wait a minute, that's my excuse!!!!
 
hmm......

i like...

1. "it's too humid in here!" after jawing one in the hole.

2. "i just wasn't supposed to win." why'd you play?

3. "you like it when guys miss don't ya???!!!" said to me right after he dogged it in the tourney this past sunday...a 9-ball....oh, and uh...yes, i do.

4. "that fat couple was making out in the corner the whole time! how could i fade that??!!" a classic from the Lebanon, MO tourney.

5. "i knew i missed it before i even shot it." a personal fave...and yes, i have used it.

6. "you're luckier than a qu**r in a d*ck tree!" uhm, ok...if you say so. lol.

there are a million...

but my fave of all-time...

by John "Curly" McGruder (rest in peace my friend...)
"I ain't never gonna get a blowjob BEFORE i play, ever again!"

he claimed it messed up his stroke...his arm was shaky. lol.

BLSpitler.
 
Too funny guys/gals

I love it! Some I have used myself some are completely unique...

My personal fav: "I'm just not seeing the ball very good tonight" (I use this one) lol

-"people keep walking by"

-"the music is too loud"

-"I hate that song"

The best so far has to be the blowjob excuse....not even close....the best!!:grin:
 
Danny Dilaberto said in a Accu-Stat tape that Peter Marino(can't remember if that was his name or not) was playing a match and went down to shoot and his hair touched the ball and reff called foul and his opponent ran out the rest of the set.Good excuse,"Man I would have beat you if my hair didn't touch that ball!".
 
The funniest excuse you ever heard from poolplayer when they lost


"I only had three beers, I play better when i;m totaly sober or totaly drunk!, I had just enough I couldn't play good."

(my buddy Jim)


"Anybody can beat me when I'm sober, you know that! But no one can beat me if I get drunk enough."

(my buddy Garry)


"I play a lot better if i play someone good"

(me) :grin:
 
After my opponent drove a ball into the point on the side rail leaving me an easy shot on the nine: "I should have shot for the cleavage not the tit."
 
This isn't related directly to the topic of the thread, but I thought it was funny at the time.

After a 30 year layoff from pool, I resumed playing after I retired and entered a tournament. I happened to know the tournament director but nobody else knew me and the director over hyped me in the calcutta. A bidding war ensued, people bidding blind on me, and I went for a LOT more money than I was worth. The guy who won the bidding came up to me afterward and asked if I wanted half of myself in the calcutta. I told him "No thanks, I'm not that good".

The look on the poor guy's face was priceless. I went two and out.
 
A local A player playing a $100.00 set vs a regional tourney(champion) player.After dogging the hill-hill-9 straight in 1ft-1ft.He blamed it on the champ smacking his gum.

Me."They kept playing that damn county,how can I play pool with that crap on?"

Me,years ago,"That guy was just sitting there staring at me,why does he want to watch me play?"
 
funniest excuse

I was playing CHEAP CHEAP sets with a friend of mine who was an apa 6 at the time. I was giving him 4 games on the wire in a race to 8. I'm up 6-0 he finally has a decent table and runs to the eight, leaves himself a little funny but I was gonna give it to him anyway but before I can get to the other side of the table he shoots and dogs it and blames me for making him shoot the ball.:cool: He is ill at me for the rest of the night and says he would've beat me if I would've gave him that eight ball....
I had that happen to me and I have seen it tried on other players to wait till you are pulling the trigger and jump up and then say I was going to give you the game. When people are giving you the game they put their cue out and rake the ball , otherwise stay in your seat. If you go ahead and give them the game {which is the correct thing to do}, everything is fine. if you don't one day you may do it to the wrong person and you will never need to buy toothpicks again.
 
Hill/Hill 9-Ball in a tournament:
opponent has a totally *dead straight in* shot for the 7. Cueball about 1 diamond away from the corner pocket- Cueball also about 1 diamond away from the opposite corner pocket. He had to draw the cueball back a table length to come to the headrail for position to the 9: he started his pre-strokes and i already whispered to a friend: omg, what is he doing there ?is he trying to pump up oil or water and then i said "fire in the hole"? his pre-strokes went faster and faster his whole arm was going down-and upwards like hammering horse-shoes.....and then the cueball went off the table about 6-7 metres before it hit the floor the first time...rofl- The guy started shouting and hollering like crazy:" This cuemaker is too stupid to install a tip correctly...such an idiot!!!"

lol^^ was a great moment^^
 
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