Welcome to Gestapo Billiards. Have a good time.
- Thread starter Saturated Fats
- Start date
hand her a vacuum, 'say hello to my little friend'
I may have run her off accidentally. I was coming in one Saturday as she was leaving, saw the powder all over the table and said out loud, "what the fuck happened to this thing?" I haven't seen her (or powder in that room) since.hand her a vacuum, 'say hello to my little friend'
That is exactly right. Some of us are not in a position to be able to pick and choose and educate all our customers to take care of our tables and equipment the same way that I would. It’s just not realistic, and I simply can’t afford to turn off half of our clientele.
Last edited:
Now that you mention it, I do remember the absolute silence. Unlike most every other pool room I've played at before or since, there wasn't any woofing or sharking. All it needed was a house man to tell first time visitors, "This is 211, mister".
I loved that place, and the last year I was in Seattle (2000) it was closed when I got there. Turned out the closing was just temporary, but by the end of the year it'd closed for good.
But the ones sending the cue ball into orbit are weekly players that play on a team in a league. At some point a player needs to learn how to break without sending the cue ball off of the table.
For many guys, how hard you can break the balls seems to be masculinity pride thing, much like how far you can hit a golf ball is for golfers, regardless of how little control you have and where the ball may actually end up.
Like this...
I haven't noticed in a long time but Bustamonte used to be one of those shaft benders. Over half his shaft would be on the table at the end of his break. Massive bend since he would be standing by then too.
Hu
yes, but you will get shown a yellow card...
These are the rules in my house. When you spend as much as it costs for a really nice Diamond table if someone doesn't respect what you put into it, they can GTFO.
While it certainly isn't friendly or welcoming, I wouldn't go so far as to call this hostile. There's nothing on the list that's all that unreasonable and it describes my behavior when I play. It's a shame that the owner feels it necessary to post a sign like this, but let's face it, some people that come to play pool are ignorant, drunken a**holes and those are the ones that can't say they weren't warned.
Might want to check a little deeper. hint 'echelle
I can tell you've played mostly in upscale rooms....If you leave the cloth on for too long, the most common break spot will be worn through. Unfortunately using a break cloth will only protect this spot and not the 1 ball spot, which will also at this point approach being worn through. Using a sticky spot can help a bit with that. Fact of the matter is, that when cloth gets this old, it's probably going to have tears and wear spots on other places too. You can maybe extend the life a little bit, but really not a whole lot. It would work a little better if it was a private club with extensive self policing for cloth abuse, but for a public room...probably not.
I played for a private snooker club, which has some pretty extreme rules to extend the life of the cloth. The cloth for snooker tables can priced double of what Simonis costs, if you want top shelf stuff. For instance you don't "plop" the balls on to their spots, you gently roll them into place etc..Also many blackball clubs, if not most, have "racking cloths" which are cloths that you put on the table when you rack the balls. Never seen those on a US style table. Truth be told, I think they mostly matter with napped cloth, to prevent the nap being frazzled in the racking area.
If you replace the cloth every year, these things don't really matter so much. Many years ago I played for a club which had round the clock hard play and didn't change the simonis for almost 3 years. In the end the cloth was paper thin. It was 760, so it was still fast and playable, but with many small holes worn into the cloth. So many burn marks that the cloth was almost looking uniformly coloured...It played quite different to a new cloth, but actually it wasn't all that terrible. Speed was not heavily affected, you'd get a lot of roll out of the cueball, but draw didn't take very well. It also banked quite "long". Some of my best memories are from that room.
Last edited:
I don’t have a problem with all of these posted rules, but the larger font line underneath was not necessary.
Flakeandrun
Well-known member
beautifulLike this...
Reminds me of when I got stuck paying for a windshield that wasn't broken in my shop. I was pissed and printed new quotes, "Not Responsible for Glass Damage" was the biggest text except the title and right over the signature block. About a year or so later a customer and I were standing there when a windshield was cracked as my shop foreman was working on a car. Probably not his fault, a windshield with a chip in the edge will crack when trying to remove it.
The customer said, "Oh well, I was warned." I told him he didn't understand. The big notice on my quotes was to avoid paying for glass we didn't break. Glass we really broke was taken care of at my expense. That was the only glass we ever broke, I could afford to cover our glass damage. I do understand big letters when you are annoyed. The tone of that sign makes me suspect the owner was a bit annoyed when he had it made.
I probably wouldn't post a sign but I think I would make new customers sign a rules sheet and give them a copy.
Hu
Welcome to <Insert Name Here> Pool Room!
Please, come and play here and enjoy yourselves! We have wonderful equipment, good food and drink, and our waitstaff try and keep you happy because they’re working for tips!
We hope you come here because we pride ourselves in having excellent equipment and a comfortable environment, thereby enhancing everyone’s game.
To keep it that way, we kindly ask that you observe a few “House Rules”, basically common-sense actions that help keep this a great place to play!
House Rules
- Keep your drinks away from the table; let’s all play on nice cloth
- Same with food; eat that at a table or the bar
- Actually, hand powder is the same as food or drink; don't use that and ask us about maintaining a smooth shaft if necessary
- We also provide a break pad to use when breaking; that helps the cloth to last much longer; tell your waitperson if you need instruction
- Please don't sit or lean on the tables; we'd like them to be level as long as possible
- Help us take care of the slate; don't tap balls in place or dump balls on the table when you arrive
- Chalk creates dust, unfortunately, so let's not chalk over the table or put it face down on the table
- Jump and masse shots are a part of the game today; but please, practice them elsewhere
- If you match up and are moving to another table, please let your waitperson know so we can accurately track your time
- When you've finished your domination at the table, please gather your balls and return them to checkout
Finally, there are consequences for intentional or accidental actions:
- A spilled drink or a stain on the table caused by you will result in a $100 charge
- Torn felt and/or a permanent stain will result in a $500 charge
Last edited:
Achmed The Terrorist Pool Room Rules
Spill drink .....I keeel you
Make balls come off table ....... I keeeel you
Masse, Jump Shot or put big fat butt on rail.......... I keeeel you
Run out and don't pay time............... Never Mind , nobodys stupid enough to do that.
Spill drink .....I keeel you
Make balls come off table ....... I keeeel you
Masse, Jump Shot or put big fat butt on rail.......... I keeeel you
Run out and don't pay time............... Never Mind , nobodys stupid enough to do that.
Flakeandrun
Well-known member
People say my posts about pool are too long on a dedicated pool forum. No person is reading all of that in a pool hall lol
Probably not.
Saw this thread (after 4 bourbons) and thought, “I could word that better.”
So, I did.
Not a sign for a pool hall I would operate. Simply a better-wording of the original sign.