Freddy Fuzzmore
Member
I could offer you some advice, but....... 
What is a good way for a low-level player to handle unwanted advice?
- Thread starter Minnesota Phat
- Start date
Hmm... When you instruct a woman do your sentences happen to begin with, "Now Honey let me show you..." or "Look Sweetie, what you have to do is..." or maybe even, "Now aren't you just the cutest thing doin' it all wrong. Here, lemme show you how..."
Just a thought...
Women know everything. Doubt that? Keep arguing with the ones in your life. They will prove me right 99% of the time.
I noticed there tends to be a pecking order on who is allowed to offer advice to who. A players can offer anyone advice. B players can offer advice to C and lower. C players can offer advice to D and lower. And at the bottom of the tree is women. Anyone can offer them advice regardless of relative skill levels or social familiarity.
And that pecking order is flipped in how frequently advice is offered. C/D players give advice the most frequently and A/B players give it more sparingly.
And that pecking order is flipped in how frequently advice is offered. C/D players give advice the most frequently and A/B players give it more sparingly.
Gratuitous and maybe habitual advising is annoying. Still, more astute, is not a function of pool skill.
The last time I gave advice was to a teammate that asked me to help him. We met at a different place and I gave him a day of free lessons.
He questioned every single bit of advice I gave him and refused to believe anything I said. He was impossible to teach. He would not accept help and he was not open minded.
I quit that team and later on he came to me and told me how his game had improved from what I told him.. WTF...
I just laughed and said good for you and walked away.. He's on his own now, somewhere....
He questioned every single bit of advice I gave him and refused to believe anything I said. He was impossible to teach. He would not accept help and he was not open minded.
I quit that team and later on he came to me and told me how his game had improved from what I told him.. WTF...
I just laughed and said good for you and walked away.. He's on his own now, somewhere....
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This is why I prefer teaching women and children. They listen and accept. Men are much more likely to question and you may spend three-fourths of your time dotting I's and crossing T's. I was probably as bad as anybody until I realized that I don't need to know every detail about everything! I hit a key and a letter appears on screen for example. I could spend two hours explaining how that happens but in reality all anyone needs to know is that you hit a key and a symbol appears on screen. If somebody bogs down a group digging into unneeded details after awhile I will take a trick from the best instructor I ever had. "It is magic."
Hu
I wear ear buds and listen to Spotify till I leave the pool hall
Works all the time
When I’ve seen people struggle, I ask if they would like help. I’ve been declined lots of times and I just say “no problem, enjoy your time playing” and carry on.
If they want help, I start with something real simple, if they seem not to interested or frustrated I end it fast.
If they are keen on what I’m showing them, I’ll help them to the point that it’s enough for one day or what my time permits.
Once and only once I helped a kid for a hour, within that hour he went from banger to a solid C player. With a good instructor(I’m fair at best) I swear that kid had the talent to be a A player in a couple months. No telling where he’d have peaked at. I asked him what else he does-clearly he was gifted and then some. He was a freshman at some big college on a golf scholarship. I asked if he was a scratch golfer-stupid question. He said “yeah a few years ago I was, I’m better now”. I don’t know his name-I was stupid again and didn’t ask. I’ll never know. But I’d bet even $ he got his pro card in golf by now. Was amazing what he accomplished in a hour, it took me 6-8 months to learn and be able to execute.
That’s how I handle people. If they want help-sure. If not, have a good day.
Good day
Fatboy
If they want help, I start with something real simple, if they seem not to interested or frustrated I end it fast.
If they are keen on what I’m showing them, I’ll help them to the point that it’s enough for one day or what my time permits.
Once and only once I helped a kid for a hour, within that hour he went from banger to a solid C player. With a good instructor(I’m fair at best) I swear that kid had the talent to be a A player in a couple months. No telling where he’d have peaked at. I asked him what else he does-clearly he was gifted and then some. He was a freshman at some big college on a golf scholarship. I asked if he was a scratch golfer-stupid question. He said “yeah a few years ago I was, I’m better now”. I don’t know his name-I was stupid again and didn’t ask. I’ll never know. But I’d bet even $ he got his pro card in golf by now. Was amazing what he accomplished in a hour, it took me 6-8 months to learn and be able to execute.
That’s how I handle people. If they want help-sure. If not, have a good day.
Good day
Fatboy
Well- cannot agree here from my point of view.
Imo there s no difference teaching women or men. Maybe women like to spend more time on more "senseful things" (lol).
I also had to learn to hold myself back giving "unwanted" tips. If I know the player, it s something completley different- then I know if he appreciate sth like that. But I try to neverever giving an advice without being asked before.
Perhaps get 1 instructor and go religiously by what he says and ignore everyone else like turn your back on them
and they will get hint but make sure the instructor you get is a real instructor.
and they will get hint but make sure the instructor you get is a real instructor.
Hmm... When you instruct a woman do your sentences happen to begin with, "Now Honey let me show you..." or "Look Sweetie, what you have to do is..." or maybe even, "Now aren't you just the cutest thing doin' it all wrong. Here, lemme show you how..."
Just a thought...
No but I do pinch their butts first to get their attention.
If a woman actually goes to take lessons, yes then teaching them is the same. However, I have tried helping quite a few in leagues, and also my son has tried with his girlfriend, they all take it as us insulting them saying they are bad, ignore the advice and continue to be bad. Probably 4/5th of the women have taken advice as just criticism about bad playing while for the men I showed things to it's pretty much none of them, they try what was shown and work on it. It's like telling someone trying to get through a wall there is a door next to them, they look at you, say "no thanks, I'm good" and continue to hammer at the concrete. One lady kept insisting that to play cut shots she just needs to aim on the side of the ball the cut shot is instead of actually aiming for the cut shot. Not just me but several other players told her that is not how you aim, she refuses to learn how to actually aim thinking her idea is correct, and is still a D player. Another one played longer that I have, over 30 years, and can't hit a stop shot or a draw shot, no idea about position either. No clue how one can play so long, in a league also for a good number of years and still play at a weak level.
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Hmm. Nope, I can't figure out what the problem might be, either.
Man, I wish you were in my area. I cant say that I have ever had anyone offer unsolicited advice. I am guilty of offering unsolicited advice sometimes. One example is one guy that played in our league with us always knocked the cue ball off of the table when he broke. I simply told him it was probably (definitely was) because he had the rear of his cue jacked up on his break shot. A few weeks later when we crossed paths again he thanked me for helping.
This guy was nine cents short of a dime. He challenged every single thing I showed him. I have taken lessons from Scott Lee and Randy Goettlicher and Mark Wilson. I was sharing info I paid for just to help him.. It was so frustrating I am surprised that I lasted as long as I did!!
Not sure why people get upset over unsolicited advice.
When a strong player offers the advice, I'm glad to get the info. Even if I already know something we can discuss it, you never know something new can come out of it. Same goes for advice coming from a weaker player.
When a strong player offers the advice, I'm glad to get the info. Even if I already know something we can discuss it, you never know something new can come out of it. Same goes for advice coming from a weaker player.
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I think your posts would flow better if you stopped starting sentences with a word followed by a comma. That first sentence would have been a complete sentence if you started with the words “I am”.
Haha, I don't think that happens often. But, now that you mentioned it. I didn't notice the comma, small screen. I will fix that.
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