So I was playing with my dad who is a recreational player. He asked me what I would do on a shot. As I remember I told him I would hit the 7 into the rail down table leaving the cue ball at x spot. Well, I think he took me a little too literally. He got down and shot STRAIGHT AT THE7 without using the cue LMAO.
What's the funniest thing you have seen in pool?
- Thread starter rackmsuckr
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Voodoo Daddy said:I gotta explain that? <takes hand, turns it flat and waves it over head, makin plane noise>
Uh, does anyone else get what's so funny about headlights turning on? Yeah it's funny the guy went outside and was looking thru the window, but what's the big deal about car headlights turning on?
I'm thinking the headlights were on to get a better look at the shot.
cuetechasaurus said:
I think the funny thing is he musta been using his headlights to aim up the shot.....either that or he was thinking about going for pizza....LOLz
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A funny exchange. The guy was playing pool so that is the only pool connection.
I was chatting with a friend, she was a smoking hot 21 year old at the time, tall about 5'8" and in heels. A guy that was playing on a table nearby came over to talk to her. He was about 5'5". I don’t know exactly what was said, but he was definitely hitting on her. She listened to what he had to say, then she held her hand over his head and said “You have to be at least this tall to get on this ride”
...to my dismay her hand was over my head too.
Funny stuff
I was chatting with a friend, she was a smoking hot 21 year old at the time, tall about 5'8" and in heels. A guy that was playing on a table nearby came over to talk to her. He was about 5'5". I don’t know exactly what was said, but he was definitely hitting on her. She listened to what he had to say, then she held her hand over his head and said “You have to be at least this tall to get on this ride”
...to my dismay her hand was over my head too.
Funny stuff
Nick Varner was in town not too long ago and picked me out of the crowd to perform one of his setup trick shots near the foot spot. He was beside me at the head of the table and told me to just hit the head ball. I lined up, then took the cue completely out of my bridge hand while looking at Nick, then replaced the cue and shot the shot, ALL THE WHILE STILL LOOKING AT NICK. All the balls went in and I got thunderous applause. I am such a hamhock!
He signed my autograph, "Great shot!"
He signed my autograph, "Great shot!"
My ex boyfriend played in tournaments and for money quite often in our area. I had this thing that every time he was about to shoot I'd say, "Knock 'em down, and shoot the lights out." Everyone around made fun of him (in a joking way), because I'd say it, but they all knew about it. Well, one night at University Billiards, he is about to get into a game with another local...he comes up to kiss me, and I tell him the phrase like every other time. The few regulars around chuckle, and say their aaaws. He wins the toss, and breaks the balls...but upon breaking the balls the cueball flies straight up into the lights and busts it. The manager replaces it, they finish the game, and he is breaking again. Low and behold he does the same exact thing, busts the same light out, the same way. They replace it, and the third break also goes to him...AND I'll be damned if he didn't break it a third time the same way...it brought a new meaning to "shoot the lights out"...the entire rail could not stop laughing including me!!
We caught hell for about two months after the lights were shot out 3 times in a row. Nobody in the bar would let me say my known phrase!!
We caught hell for about two months after the lights were shot out 3 times in a row. Nobody in the bar would let me say my known phrase!!
The funniest story I have heard:
A local guy who is pretty well known in my area, Larry Gayle told me this:
Larry Gayle and Harley are over at the old UBC (I think called Players). Anyhow, this guy is sitting at the bar (we'll call him Snook), while his partner (we'll call Jeff) was trying to get a game with Larry. Larry and Harley see the backer, Snook, sitting and watching. Larry walks over to snook and offers him the 7, 8 and the last 3 for 50 a game. Snook accepts. Larry blisters him, but Snook keeps on going, until he's about 20,000 in the hole. Snook quits and pays Larry 19,000. Snook tells Larry he'll be back with the rest. Well, since larry and Harley aren't idiot they were just as happy with 19 grand. Years and years pass, and Larry gets a call from Harley saying that Snook is hanging around Harley's Rack and Cue. Well, Larry halls butt over to him, and starts talking to Snook. Snook says,"I believe I owe you some money, what was it 1,000?" Larry says "Yes, but here's what I'll do, since you were so honest and came back after all those years, you can just give me 500, and play me some more when you can." Snook thinks this is just as gentleman as they come, so he agrees. Snook pulls a wad out of his pocket and starts counting...he walks over to the bar writes something down, hands Larry a wad, and walks out to door. Larry opens it up, counts it (only 200), then finds the note at the end, that reads "Now I only owe you 300!" They never saw Snook again.
Larry has been around for many many years, and I think he told me this happened in the late 70's or early 80's.
I love his stories!!
A local guy who is pretty well known in my area, Larry Gayle told me this:
Larry Gayle and Harley are over at the old UBC (I think called Players). Anyhow, this guy is sitting at the bar (we'll call him Snook), while his partner (we'll call Jeff) was trying to get a game with Larry. Larry and Harley see the backer, Snook, sitting and watching. Larry walks over to snook and offers him the 7, 8 and the last 3 for 50 a game. Snook accepts. Larry blisters him, but Snook keeps on going, until he's about 20,000 in the hole. Snook quits and pays Larry 19,000. Snook tells Larry he'll be back with the rest. Well, since larry and Harley aren't idiot they were just as happy with 19 grand. Years and years pass, and Larry gets a call from Harley saying that Snook is hanging around Harley's Rack and Cue. Well, Larry halls butt over to him, and starts talking to Snook. Snook says,"I believe I owe you some money, what was it 1,000?" Larry says "Yes, but here's what I'll do, since you were so honest and came back after all those years, you can just give me 500, and play me some more when you can." Snook thinks this is just as gentleman as they come, so he agrees. Snook pulls a wad out of his pocket and starts counting...he walks over to the bar writes something down, hands Larry a wad, and walks out to door. Larry opens it up, counts it (only 200), then finds the note at the end, that reads "Now I only owe you 300!" They never saw Snook again.
Larry has been around for many many years, and I think he told me this happened in the late 70's or early 80's.
I love his stories!!
I saw a guy miss a straight in eight ball shot and then throw his cue across the pool room dart style.
When the 8's away, the cats will "not" play.
This is a little like what Linda Carter wrote about in the first post although this was no accident...
I was in this recreation center type place on the third floor of a building in Brookfield MO. I am practicing on one of the tables and these two girls playing next to me are constantly walking over to the window trying to see if they can see some guy on the street below. It did get quite annoying. They broke a game of 8-ball and walked over to the window again. So as I walked around to shoot my shot, I grabbed their 8-ball off their table and put in the pocket for them.
Now keep in mind, I'm new to this place. As the girls started playing, I walked over and told the owner what I had done. He looked at me for a second and said, "This should be interesting." The girls got to the last 4 balls left on the table and the girl who only had 1 solid left asked the other where the **** the 8-ball was. I look over at the owner and he has got tears rolling out of his eyes holding back the laughter. My stomach was hurting too I must admit.
These girls start ripping into each other like they have always hated each other. The B-word is being used in every accusation. "You B****, your solids you must have made it by accident." "Screw you B****, you probably knock it in when I was looking outside and didn't want me to know."
The worker came over to the owner and asked what was going on. All he could do was point to me. So I walked over trying not to be noticed and not to laugh out loud while these two girls are taking this on the serious side. The worker asked me the same question. At this point the cues have been thrown on the floor and it looked like they were going to fight. They end up so mad they decide to quit playing. After I finally am able to tell the worker what I did, he asked me if I was going to tell them.
The girls are now bringing up the balls and I shook my head, NO! After they left, the owner finally spits out, "Why didn't you tell them?"
I said, "I'm new here. Besides I really don't see how getting my a** kicked by a couple of girls really solves anything."
Needless to say, every so often during the rest of the day, one of those two would just start laughing out of the blue and I would have to check to door.
This is a little like what Linda Carter wrote about in the first post although this was no accident...
I was in this recreation center type place on the third floor of a building in Brookfield MO. I am practicing on one of the tables and these two girls playing next to me are constantly walking over to the window trying to see if they can see some guy on the street below. It did get quite annoying. They broke a game of 8-ball and walked over to the window again. So as I walked around to shoot my shot, I grabbed their 8-ball off their table and put in the pocket for them.
Now keep in mind, I'm new to this place. As the girls started playing, I walked over and told the owner what I had done. He looked at me for a second and said, "This should be interesting." The girls got to the last 4 balls left on the table and the girl who only had 1 solid left asked the other where the **** the 8-ball was. I look over at the owner and he has got tears rolling out of his eyes holding back the laughter. My stomach was hurting too I must admit.
These girls start ripping into each other like they have always hated each other. The B-word is being used in every accusation. "You B****, your solids you must have made it by accident." "Screw you B****, you probably knock it in when I was looking outside and didn't want me to know."
The worker came over to the owner and asked what was going on. All he could do was point to me. So I walked over trying not to be noticed and not to laugh out loud while these two girls are taking this on the serious side. The worker asked me the same question. At this point the cues have been thrown on the floor and it looked like they were going to fight. They end up so mad they decide to quit playing. After I finally am able to tell the worker what I did, he asked me if I was going to tell them.
The girls are now bringing up the balls and I shook my head, NO! After they left, the owner finally spits out, "Why didn't you tell them?"
I said, "I'm new here. Besides I really don't see how getting my a** kicked by a couple of girls really solves anything."
Needless to say, every so often during the rest of the day, one of those two would just start laughing out of the blue and I would have to check to door.
My husband, Mike Zimmerman, wanted to contribute one.
We had a poolroom up here owned by Harry Platis, called Harry P Cues, where all the action occurred. Nick Varner was in town and played Harry a couple games of 1-pocket for $1000/game. Nick won 2 and Harry paid off 1 and owed Nick for years before he finally paid off. That's just how Harry is, not because he doesn't have the money. For those of you not living in Platisville (a term my husband coined, btw), I suggest you read the book, "Playing Off The Rail".
Anyway, one night Nick was playing a local, Mike Dooley (See my thread about rail hops). Dooley can give Sigel and Keith the 7 on being a 'mouth' at the table. This guy talks nonstop. That's why Nick was down 20 games at $40/game, with Dooley getting the 7. It's Dooley's break. He busts them hard and boom, a white chunk of crank falls onto the table, flying out from his nose. It was the size of your fingernail. Everyone was laughing for months, and to this day, it still gives Mike a chuckle.
We had a poolroom up here owned by Harry Platis, called Harry P Cues, where all the action occurred. Nick Varner was in town and played Harry a couple games of 1-pocket for $1000/game. Nick won 2 and Harry paid off 1 and owed Nick for years before he finally paid off. That's just how Harry is, not because he doesn't have the money. For those of you not living in Platisville (a term my husband coined, btw), I suggest you read the book, "Playing Off The Rail".
Anyway, one night Nick was playing a local, Mike Dooley (See my thread about rail hops). Dooley can give Sigel and Keith the 7 on being a 'mouth' at the table. This guy talks nonstop. That's why Nick was down 20 games at $40/game, with Dooley getting the 7. It's Dooley's break. He busts them hard and boom, a white chunk of crank falls onto the table, flying out from his nose. It was the size of your fingernail. Everyone was laughing for months, and to this day, it still gives Mike a chuckle.
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just this weekend
I saw this on Saturday night...
Just picture:
There are these two mexican guys playing on an 8' table. Both of them have Coronas lined up on the window ledge next to their table. They have been here for about 4 hours, and have gone through at least 10 Coronas each. Niether of them speaks a lick of english, but they are shooting pool endlessly to become better, and then we see it. They are stuffing the money they are betting up underneath the railing/cushion. There has got to be at least 20 bucks from each (not 20 dollar bills either) shoved up under. So, the one guy bends over to shoot, meanwhile the other has his leg propped up on the table as if he is humping the thing. The humper moves around the table carefully placing the hump leg on the pocket his opponent is shooting at. Well, it's 2, and the owner, Kevin, call last rack. These guys start shoving all kinds of money under the rail. One long rail must have been completely covered!!
After they finish, they walk up to Kevin, and say, "Como se llama?" I tell kevin what it means after he has the guy repeat it 7 times...what's your name? Kevin replies to the mexican guy. The guy asks another question, that I can only pick apart a few words out of. Sounded something like, Is this your place? Keving answers, yes. The guy squeezes out "nice" in english, then asks,"cual es su numero de telefono?" Well, I say to kevin, this guy is asking you for your number...me and the 5 railbirds are rolling on the ground laughing...the poor guy is getting hit on! If you all don't know, most of the mexicans that come in UBC don't tip at all...this guy leaves a $15 tip, and his phone number written on the 10 dollar bill!!
I found it hysterical, but you may have had to be there!
I saw this on Saturday night...
Just picture:
There are these two mexican guys playing on an 8' table. Both of them have Coronas lined up on the window ledge next to their table. They have been here for about 4 hours, and have gone through at least 10 Coronas each. Niether of them speaks a lick of english, but they are shooting pool endlessly to become better, and then we see it. They are stuffing the money they are betting up underneath the railing/cushion. There has got to be at least 20 bucks from each (not 20 dollar bills either) shoved up under. So, the one guy bends over to shoot, meanwhile the other has his leg propped up on the table as if he is humping the thing. The humper moves around the table carefully placing the hump leg on the pocket his opponent is shooting at. Well, it's 2, and the owner, Kevin, call last rack. These guys start shoving all kinds of money under the rail. One long rail must have been completely covered!!
After they finish, they walk up to Kevin, and say, "Como se llama?" I tell kevin what it means after he has the guy repeat it 7 times...what's your name? Kevin replies to the mexican guy. The guy asks another question, that I can only pick apart a few words out of. Sounded something like, Is this your place? Keving answers, yes. The guy squeezes out "nice" in english, then asks,"cual es su numero de telefono?" Well, I say to kevin, this guy is asking you for your number...me and the 5 railbirds are rolling on the ground laughing...the poor guy is getting hit on! If you all don't know, most of the mexicans that come in UBC don't tip at all...this guy leaves a $15 tip, and his phone number written on the 10 dollar bill!!
I found it hysterical, but you may have had to be there!
During one of the many earthquakes in California a friend and I were playing pool. It was about 3am and the place was closed so it was just him and I playing. Well, the lights start swinging back and forth and that unmistakable rumble is heard........EARTHQUAKE!! I am panicking while my friend is still down on the ball!!
He yells out "Keep shooting, keep shooting!!", the balls are going all over the place, we don't know if this is our last game on earth, the lights are swinging beyond the edge of the table, it was crazy!!
It wasn't too funny at the time, but definitely something to remember.
He yells out "Keep shooting, keep shooting!!", the balls are going all over the place, we don't know if this is our last game on earth, the lights are swinging beyond the edge of the table, it was crazy!!
It wasn't too funny at the time, but definitely something to remember.
Yes, but what about the legs???Jaden said:
P.S. The funniest thing I've ever seen in a pool hall was about 8 years ago, an old chinese-looking guy and I were playing some friendly 9-ball. This guy was pretty crotchety, or at least he was acting that way. His walk was kind of an old man's shuffle and he barely bent over when he shot. But man could he shoot... I was losing quite badly, and I think he felt sorry for me because he said (as he lined up for the 9 ball) "How about I have to make the 9 in 2 rails to win?" I figured this would be good for me because I'd get at least one more turn at the table. No such luck... old guy takes half a warm-up stroke and kocks the 9 two rails into the side pocket! It didn't seem funny at the time, but looking back it's pretty funny because I'm sure the guy was holding back the whole time... wonder who he was...
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Hiding under pool tables during earthquakes
Funny, but actually there was an article about that in a USA Today a few years back. They said after investigating most of the houses that were completely crumbled down from earthquakes and tornados that an odd thing was noticed. Most of the pool tables remained standing even with the entire house down around them. I'm sure it said most, because of some people having the cheap imitation tables. They actually said it was a safe place to hide.
1pRoscoe said:
Funny, but actually there was an article about that in a USA Today a few years back. They said after investigating most of the houses that were completely crumbled down from earthquakes and tornados that an odd thing was noticed. Most of the pool tables remained standing even with the entire house down around them. I'm sure it said most, because of some people having the cheap imitation tables. They actually said it was a safe place to hide.
Rod said:
That same thing happened many years ago at Friendly Billiards in Arlington, VA (long since closed). Except in this case, the guy bet he could walk around the table rails (4 1/2 X 9) on ONE hand. The bet was made and he proceeded to walk around on one hand, then when he got to the end, he turned around and walked back the other way on one hand. That's what I call rubbing it in! He too was a gymnast, an Olympic gymnast at that!
His most famous bet was that if you raised him on a car lift while standing on one hand, he could jump from one rail to the other landing on one hand.