Your favorite stupid pool comments you love to hate

tjlmbklr

tjlmbklr

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
.................You know the ones I mean. It may be the one guy you see at the local bar says and it has no place in the Billiards dictionary (I know there isn't one, that I know of, but maybe there should be).

I know these threads have been started before but i love hearing everyone elses "Dumb One liners" Not yours of course (unless you are that guy/gal). I know we all started somewhere and we all have our different up ringings and some of us learn the right and wrong verbiage from great forums like these. And some of us were blessed to be almost raised in a pool hall. But come on lets here them and I will get the ball rolling with my favorite.

Your about to lag and you opponent says "Ok, on three 1,2........"

Dumb ass!

I will be watching a movie that I could care less about with my wife and Mother in law so I need some reading entertainment.

Rep to the best I get by my bed time, 12:00am, 1:00, 2:00..........

Oh and magix if you read this and you're wondering why am not shooting with that beautiful Schon. Well I did a bit when i got home and things do look better for you then yesterday. I may get more time tonight to play but will really play some tomorrow.:thumbup:
 
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On occasion, I've gambled and, despite a few hours of play, I was breaking even. On more than one occasion, I indicated to my opponent that I'd had enough and didn't care to play another set and my opponent made the comment:

"You can't quit now. If you do, the house is the only winner tonight."

That comment always rubs me the wrong way. So what if the house is the only winner?
 
tjlmbklr said:
.................You know the ones I mean. It may be the one guy you see at the local bar says and it has no place in the Billiards dictionary (I know there isn't one, that I know of, but maybe there should be).

I know these threads have been started before but i love hearing everyone elses "Dumb One liners" Not yours of course (unless you are that guy/gal). I know we all started somewhere and we all have our different up ringings and some of us learn the right and wrong verbiage from great forums like these. And some of us were blessed to be almost raised in a pool hall. But come on lets here them and I will get the ball rolling with my favorite.

Your about to lag and you opponent says "Ok, on three 1,2........"

Dumb ass!

I will be watching a movie that I could care less about with my wife and Mother in law so I need some reading entertainment.

Rep to the best I get by my bed time, 12:00am, 1:00, 2:00..........

Oh and magix if you read this and you're wondering why am not shooting with that beautiful Schon. Well I did a bit when i got home and things do look better for you then yesterday. I may get more time tonight to play but will really play some tomorrow.:thumbup:
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1. Four rails never fails!
2. Round and round she goes, where she stops nobody knows! (referring to the CB)
3. Chalk is free! (when the opponent miscues)
 
So far so good, I have a few i want to add but I'm hoping they are shared by others.
 
When you are getting your butt kicked in a match and a teamate comes over and says; "Just go out there and have fun".
 
This cue hits a ton.:mad: Then you have about 100 more that are so out dated or plain dumb that have been around for a century or more. Get some new sayings from the younger players. Johnnyt
 
1. Man this table is bad.
2. Man the lighting is not good.
3. I am having a bad day, I just don't feel it.
4. Stupid kids/people at the next table are annoying, distracting me.
5. Screw this, let's go bowling and i'll kick your ass.

Well, these are acutally all my excuses when I lose. LOL.
 
Its not a saying but it is annoying and funny just the same:

When a guy spends 10 minutes arranging and rearranging a rack of 8 ball so that no two stripes or solids are next to each other and the numbers are all in order by square root divided by pie. Of course he then finishes by putting the 8 ball on top of the other balls and dropping it into the hole in the center of the rack with a flourish. He then pulls the rack off and leaves no ball actually touching any other ball.

Yeah....I pretty much hate that.
 
I used to play pretty good...in fact, I put myself through college playing pool. (Usually coming from someone who probably won enough in their entire lifetime to rent a movie about college)

Steve
 
i've not had it happen in a long time, but has anyone else ever have a bar player try to spot the cue ball a butts length from the rail when they are froze. i just look at them and say "if you want to go play putt putt we can".

i've also heard a lot.. "when i was younger i would never miss, and i always lived off playing pool".. i've heard this so much from so many people i wonder if anyone "BACK THEN" ever lost money... who in the world was losing all this money???? and where are they???
 
pooltchr said:
I used to play pretty good...in fact, I put myself through college playing pool. (Usually coming from someone who probably won enough in their entire lifetime to rent a movie about college)

Steve
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haha , i must have been typing mine as you were typing yours cause i was saying the same thing... well posi rep to you good sir for that.
 
1. "This cloth is faster/slower than the cloth on MY table." :: AHEM ::
2. "I was just getting some of mine out of the way for you"
3. "this table is playing long/short"
4. "If I had MY cue here, I'd be playing a LOT better"

I have a ton more, but it wouldn't be fair to rob everyone else of the opportunity.
 
Duce said:
5. Screw this, let's go bowling and i'll kick your ass.

Well, these are acutally all my excuses when I lose. LOL.
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So far this is my favorite. But I am not a bowler. as a matter of fact I am the anti-bowler.
 
MilwShooter said:
1. "This cloth is faster/slower than the cloth on MY table." :: AHEM ::
2. "I was just getting some of mine out of the way for you"
3. "this table is playing long/short"
4. "If I had MY cue here, I'd be playing a LOT better"

I have a ton more, but it wouldn't be fair to rob everyone else of the opportunity.
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If I was a betting man I'd say you were poking fun at me. Next time WHEN I BEAT YOU, I will go to my broom closet and find a nice mop handle to whip the floors with you.................:thumbup: :D :angry: :angry: :confused: :wink: :eek: :grin-square: :grin:...lol


just kidding Nick.........NOT!
 
JCIN said:
Its not a saying but it is annoying and funny just the same:

When a guy spends 10 minutes arranging and rearranging a rack of 8 ball so that no two stripes or solids are next to each other and the numbers are all in order by square root divided by pie. Of course he then finishes by putting the 8 ball on top of the other balls and dropping it into the hole in the center of the rack with a flourish. He then pulls the rack off and leaves no ball actually touching any other ball.

Yeah....I pretty much hate that.
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NICE!, I hate that too.
 
tjlmbklr said:
So far so good, I have a few i want to add but I'm hoping they are shared by others.
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all time best,after missing a shot--"I hit it too good!".:rotflmao1: :rotflmao1: :rotflmao1:
 
'You want to play some' with no money in their pocket and trying to match up a game. People are always trying to write a check their a$$ can't cash around a pool table.
 
how about when low rated league players get on the soap box about the follies of using English in pool and how the pros rarely ever use English unless they absolutely have to.

Lee <<-----knows pro 9 ball players use English all day long.
 
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