Politically Correct "Creatively Distracting" Methods--Not "Sharking"

[Cameron Smith]

More from Potter


"NOTE:Do not attempt to irritate your opponent by spending too long your looking for your lost ball. This is unsporting. But good gamesmanship which is also very good sportsmanship can be practiced if the gamesman makes a great and irritatingly prolonged parade of spending extra time looking for his opponents ball."


"In snooker, the usual practice is to walk quickly up to the table, squat half down on the haunches to look at the sight-lines, move to the other end of the table to look at the sight-lines of balls that may come into play later on in the run you are supposed to be planning. Decide on the shot. Frame up for it, and then at the last moment see some obvious shot you had "missed" and which your opponent and everybody else will have noticed before you moved to the table, and which they knew is the shot you are going to play in the end anyhow."

"I once converted two down into two up when playing golf against P. Beard, know also as the leader of an orchestra by constantly whisting a prase from the Dorabella Variation with one note - aways the same note- wrong."

The last one really works against musicians. Whistling REALLY bothers me, especially considering that whistlers are almost always off key.

 

[CreeDo]

As they are lining up -
"Did you know you always take the same number of practice strokes on this kind of shot?"

In 9 ball, any time their object ball is somewhat near the next object ball (like if the 3 and the 4 are both near the rail and they're lining up on the 3) ... "ho! wait a sec! You're on the 3." ("I know." "oh, sorry, looked like you were lining up on the 4 there")
Do this every time the balls are even remotely near each other.

Go away for some reason while they're shooting, then walk back to the table. Walk right into their line of sight, then abruptly 'realize' what you're doing. Go into an immediate and dramatic freeze. Act like someone who has just stepped on a landmine. It helps if one leg is actually in the air, midstride. Bonus points if you're balancing a plate of food. Stare with your eyes wide and your mouth open at a point somewhere to the left of their head, making it very clear you are NOT watching them shoot, as that might add pressure and distract them.

Whenever you're forced to shoot facing away from them (as they're seated)... put a little wiggle into your ass. Do not use this wiggle from any other angle.

If they scratch, ask "ball in hand?" as if you genuinely didn't know. If they complain say it's a habit from league where you're required to ask. Also, ask if it's open table every single time they dry break. Try to raise your eyebrow a little and don't smile when you ask. Be casual.

Every time they win one, ask if you can shoot the rest of the balls off. Make them wait as you agonize on what order to shoot, what english, etc. Miss a few but insist on continuing until every ball is potted.

On tables without a ball return, always be at least one ball short when you walk around the table getting them the balls for the next rack. Deliberately overlook a pocket. You can even go as far as to reach into the pocket and come up emptyhanded. Make them come around and hunt it down.

Alternately, reach into an empty pocket and quickly whip your hand forward as if you're going to fling it at them. Laugh when they flinch.

Agonize over getting the rack exactly right. Get it so that it looks perfect, and very very slowly lift the triangle, as if defusing a bomb. Then, for no apparent reason slap it back down and roll the entire rack back and forward and painstakingly rerack, even though nothing rolled off and the rack was perfect already. Cuss a little and complain about the spot.

There's more but I have to go shoot in our league state championships now with 1 player missing, lol >_<

 

[Snapshot9]

My favorite

"You know they say a player's stroke is the same length as his d*ck"

(A friend of mine has a rather short stroke, and I said this to his girlfriend as we were playing so he could hear it, and he couldn't make a ball after that ....LOL)

 

[Scott Lee]

...and add a VERY short skirt, for the most effective combo!

Scott Lee
www.poolknowledge.com

This is the most effective way

 

[fd_colorado]

Use what you've got at hand. At my house, I have a refrigerator with a squeaky door, a dog, a cat and music playing. And of course, my own God-given voice.

I don't shark anyone playing at my house unless I am joking with somebody and it is blatantly obvious and therefore okay, IMHO. An example would be a shot so easy that it is sharkproof. Why not go over to the fridge and work the door back and forth a few times...eeekahhhkeeekeeekaaak. Joking around on their easy shots will give you license to later mess with their more difficult shot.

If the dog hears someone outside he'll bark, oftentimes while someone is last stroking a money ball. I suppose you could get some of the same effect by stepping on the dog's tail or some other part depending on the desired pitch of your shark.

The cat offers an equally compelling element of suprise. How often do you see the cat jump up on the rail right in front of the shooter?

With the music simply parrot a small sample of the lyrics in your most annoying Tiny Tim falsetto for a sure-fire choking effect on your opponent. Changing your CD in the middle of a song or re-shuffling your ipod also seems to work.

They say the hemisphere of the brain that is responsible for good shooting and muscle memory is different than the side that is the boss of your speech. Get your in-the-zone opponent talking and they usually will quickly crumble.

A real player can snap back into the hemisphere responsible for good play at will. Even to the point of multi-tasking on a 'separate channel' with his playing body in the zone and his lips moving in another zone. Watch out for this kind of player.

And one that I just heard about from a friend of mine down south...you just stand next to the pocket that your opponent is going to pocket the money ball, and say while you lightly tap the rail, "Uncle Pug, Uncle Pug, Uncle Pug." The friend claims this shark works like a charm. I guess I'll have to give it a try...come to think of it, "Who the heck is Uncle Pug?"

 

[AuntyDan]

I've been training myself for years to be able to weep silently on demand. The trick is to do it just as the opponent is bending down for their next show, keeping your face totally expressionless and making no attempt to wipe them away until it is your turn to shoot again.

 

[DelaWho???]

At the Md State Bar Table tourney on Saturday, I noticed a guy they call Double D had a bad habit of sticking his hand in his pocket and jingling the change. It only seemed to happen when his opponent was down on a shot.

He did it to me on the practice table when I was down on a difficult shot. I probably would have missed it anyway and chalked it up to coincidence. That was until I saw him playing one of the stronger players in the room and those coins were a jinglin on almost every shot...

 

[KoolKat9Lives]

At the Md State Bar Table tourney on Saturday, I noticed a guy they call Double D had a bad habit of sticking his hand in his pocket and jingling the change. It only seemed to happen when his opponent was down on a shot.

He did it to me on the practice table when I was down on a difficult shot. I probably would have missed it anyway and chalked it up to coincidence. That was until I saw him playing one of the stronger players in the room and those coins were a jinglin on almost every shot...

The timely ole coin jingle shark move... That's one of the oldest tricks in the book (for pool and golf).

When it happens to me, I look sternly at the offender and ask

"Would you like a dollar for that change?"

It confuses them a bit at first, but they get the message.

 

[crawfish]

The timely ole coin jingle shark move... That's one of the oldest tricks in the book (for pool and golf).

When it happens to me, I look sternly at the offender and ask

"Would you like a dollar for that change?"

It confuses them a bit at first, but they get the message.

I immediately say, "Yes." You give it to me, then I do it again the next game. That's plan B.

 

[orangecrush]

I would consider all of those sharking. If you have to "distract" the other player then you are sharking. Period. Dot. Why can't you just play your best and win?

Shane

Okay, due to several pm's wanting more of the "creatively distracting" methods, here you go. Now, feel free to add some. The others may be read on the "They can't all be champions" thread. Do not use my own sh#$ against me, either. I will know my own when I see them.

Buy a box of tic tacs and keep throwing them one at a time up in the air and eating them proclaiming, "They just don't make speed like they used to."

In between games, go stand in the corner facing the corner. Don't speak, just stand there for ten seconds and then come back.

During your break, stop and stand up at least eleven times before breaking.

Constantly talk about your new puppy. Keep asking your opponent to think of a name for him.

Sneeze, or act like you're sneezing on purpose. Then smile at him/her.

Speak often of the death of your pet rabbit growing up and how losing makes you go into a depression.

After a runout, ask your opponent if that's what he'd have done.

Prior to breaking the balls, sing a version of Neal Diamond's "Forever in Blue Jeans."

Every time your opponent makes a ball, nod excessively and say, "Fu#$ing awesome" under your breath.

Pick lint off of the table. Yes, that dark headed guy got that from me.

Gotta stop. Can't give away all of them.

 

[crawfish]

I would consider all of those sharking. If you have to "distract" the other player then you are sharking. Period. Dot. Why can't you just play your best and win?

Shane

You are kidding and get the joke, right? There are a few people that I can play without putting "the moves" on. But, when your best isn't good enough.....


It's a fu#@ing joke, dude. Did you read these? Wow.

 

[cleary]

in 8 ball, ask if you are stipes or solids EVERY time its your turn to shoot.

in 9 ball, ask if you are stripes or solids, just every once in a while.

Call everything in 9 ball. (rail first, 1 ball off the 6. Corner pocket) Then when you miss, ask if it still counts.

 

[the420trooper]

Go away for some reason while they're shooting, then walk back to the table. Walk right into their line of sight, then abruptly 'realize' what you're doing. Go into an immediate and dramatic freeze. Act like someone who has just stepped on a landmine. It helps if one leg is actually in the air, midstride. Bonus points if you're balancing a plate of food. Stare with your eyes wide and your mouth open at a point somewhere to the left of their head, making it very clear you are NOT watching them shoot, as that might add pressure and distract them.



If they scratch, ask "ball in hand?" as if you genuinely didn't know. If they complain say it's a habit from league where you're required to ask. Also, ask if it's open table every single time they dry break. Try to raise your eyebrow a little and don't smile when you ask. Be casual.



On tables without a ball return, always be at least one ball short when you walk around the table getting them the balls for the next rack. Deliberately overlook a pocket. You can even go as far as to reach into the pocket and come up emptyhanded. Make them come around and hunt it down.

It sounds like we may have played before, these are some that I may be "inadvertently" guilty of.

Alternately, reach into an empty pocket and quickly whip your hand forward as if you're going to fling it at them. Laugh when they flinch.

:rotflmao1:

If this didn't make you laugh, I hope you gave your sense of humor a proper burial...

 

[Fuji-whopper]

The only thing I could add to this great list is say "that's good" after someone makes the last ball in a game. Got to keep them guessing.

 

[Beware_of_Dawg]

stick your bridge hand as deep as you can into your pants pocket
only remove it for shooting and jam it back in there as fast as you can after the shot.

giggle quietly in between racks...

after every successful shot pet your cue gently and whisper "thank you, Mother"

after a miss use the "Vulcan death grip" on yourself and fall to the floor..

hum the "Indiana Jones" theme while racking

mention quietly that you are afraid of the 7 ball... because 7, 8, 9

:thumbup:
cool thread

BWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

That's fuxing great!!!

 

[CreeDo]

lol Trooper, if we ever play it's gonna be brutal. I am pretty sure I really have done all of these. People seem to be big fans of the fling fakeout, and I really do that all the time. My opponent usually just sorta shakes his head and mutters "asshοle" =P

The "freeze" is a big one that happens all the time accidentally. People think suddenly jerking to a stop in front of your pocket will be less distracting than if they continued strolling. I tend to get up from the shot if I spot it and let them go ahead, while I usually will stay down for someone who just walks across.

I'd forgotten all about this all time classic: Call every single shot. It doesn't even have to be the excessive calling cleary's talking about (tho that's pretty funny). We have players here who will go through an entire rack of 8-ball like this. "Eleven.... Fourteen... Nine.... Ten.... Thirteen... Twelve... Eight Ball, corner pocket." (and stand up and point the stick at the corner pocket in question, like you were gonna jump up and cry foul if he didn't). It drives me nucking futs. They call EVERY BALL on EVERY GAME even if it's just for fun.

I loled hard at "cry silently". If they ask what's wrong, you can say "I just wish I could play like that... like you do... just one day in my life. I don't know where it comes from. I just know I don't have it. And I never will." Then you can wipe your eyes angrily and look away, lips pinched tight.

True story: my friend got pissed when I called him for sharking the other day. He went to give me the eight and was halfway reaching for the rack as I stroked it it, which made me miss. I raked the balls afterward and said "rack 'em". He thought that was bs, but I feel that if you're giving someone the ball, then you gave it to them. Doesn't matter once you get out of your chair. The game is over. You can't "half" give him the ball and then change your mind.

But it's a terrific way to shark someone. I can't remember who did this trick but an AZBer told a story.. (did someone say Cornbread Red did this maybe?). He was going to shoot the 9 and the other guy said "that's good". So he starts walking to his chair and then the other guy says "no, on second thought, go ahead and shoot it". The shooter makes it and says, sort of cross, "I thought I had seen every move known to man but I hadn't seen that one before" and his opponent calmly answers "well now you have."

 

[jason]

i hate all of you people that do this crap!!

I get sharked VERY easily. I have a really wide peripheral vision so if anyone at all is walking around I often get distracted.

Maybe if I start sharking the other person I'll stop getting distracted.

Johnny, do you breath in or out when shooting? Just curious!
Think about it the next time you play and let me know. :thumbup:

 

[trustyrusty]

Johnny, do you breath in or out when shooting? Just curious!
Think about it the next time you play and let me know. :thumbup:

Fernando Valenzuela could breathe thru his eyelids....don't know if that would work in pool though.

 

[Firecracker]

A friend relayed a story to me about a top player in the state that was before my time.

While he was watching his opponent shoot, he would sit in his chair, with his cue to the side, and watch. The second his opponent got out of line or left himself a difficult shot, the gentlemen, still sitting, would pull his cue to him. While still in his chair, when his opponent could see him and before he had attempted the shot, he would wipe his cue down with his rag and chalk it up in preparation to shoot. It was part of him "sharking" opponent to say "you f'd up, I'm going to get to shoot the next shot".

I thought that it was funny, cause it really is a way to shark, without technically sharking.

 

[the420trooper]

One of my all time favorites:

After a miss, give your opponent a mournful look, and say, "Well, I guess it's up to you whether my kids eat tonight".