Types of people you see at the Pool Hall

[CreeDo]

The Odd Couple
Saw these guys just today. Old guys, who have clearly been friends for decades... they grump and huff and fart their way around the pool table, playing each other in 1 pocket or straight pool. They don't play anyone else. They'll tell you it's for 100 bucks a game, but you just know they're just running a tab with each other. It's fun to listen to them talk trash, old-timer style.

The Wannabe
Talks about how he's gonna go play somewhere else and make some scores, but you can't recall ever seeing him gamble more than 5 dollars. Drops lots of names of local pro and semipro players. He's the APA 4 with a Black Boar... except it's at his dad's house, or he sold it, or it got stolen. He's on the AZ forums, reading this post and thinking "haha, I'm glad I'm not one of THOSE guys."

The Groupie
She shoots ok, for a girl. Acts like one of the boys, says stuff like "that guy's a fish, I gave him the wild 7 and drilled his nuts in." Dating the best regular player at the pool hall, and if you scan the room you'll see at least three of her exes. Her case weighs more than she does. Carries a shaper and chalk in her purse.

Drillmaster
Drill, baby, drill. That's all he does. Always the same table. Middle of the day, so he can take advantage of the quiet time and the 8 dollar special. Bangs the same shot into the same far corner 150 times. Plays weird practice games with his buddies. Has books and dvds sitting on his back seat. Rocking the glove.

 

[Pre-Flag Master]

Inspector Gadget

This guy has all the tools except for a lathe. He carries a 6x12 case, 2 break cues, jump cue, 6 shafts for his player, including 3 LD shafts. 4 types of chalk, scuffers, powder, etc...

Even knew a guy who carried around his own complete set of balls in a case.

 

[ironman]

I have Marty's old Viking case

Heard you were in town a couple of weeks ago
It must of been the only action all week in the whole state.

i was there and made a sizeable donation. It was just that too, a donation. It was nice to be there and in the area again. I liked Felts and enjoyed seeing many old friends. i got to spend some time with Danny and intend to be back soon.
I intend to try ATM some more one pocket and promise not to play any worse. LOL!

 

[ROB.M]

Well I've met all types of people in my life at pool hall's from Judges, Bankers, Doctors, Lawyers to Mill Workers, Construction Workers, Pulp Wood Haulers to Dope Dealers & Junkies.

One time on high school graduation night I got a minor in possession ticket and drinking in public, I went to face the Judge and he fined me $15.00 for drinking in public and $10.00 for minor in possession, but I thought it was about right because I had just won $25.50 off the Judge playing golf on the snooker table at the local pool hall only a week before!:grin-square:


David Harcrow

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Thanks for sharing!
thats one hellva night

 

[Charlie Hustle]

CreeDo, this one made me laugh...Ive seen it all too often.

The Groupie
She shoots ok, for a girl. Acts like one of the boys, says stuff like "that guy's a fish, I gave him the wild 7 and drilled his nuts in." Dating the best regular player at the pool hall, and if you scan the room you'll see at least three of her exes. Her case weighs more than she does. Carries a shaper and chalk in her purse.

 

[Mickey Qualls]

I remembered these from an older thread I posted in...

The Sunday Driver:
This cat has all the time in the world to play, and it shows on the table. Every shot takes them at least two minutes* and, regardless of whether or not they got the EXACT position they intended, they have to spend ANOTHER two minutes (minimum) to plan their next shot. Whether or not they beat you is irrelevant in comparison to the game/match finally being over. Depending on what's at stake, the temptation to unscrew your cue and/or forfeit your match, simply to end the misery, can be overwhelming at times.
*Times may vary based on type of game played and/or balls remaining on the table

The Help Desk (aka Tech Support):
This is the player that likes to have a telephone conversation while they're shooting. "It's not a shark move !!" because, technically, they are doing it during their turn. These players feel the need to explain to the person on the other end of the phone, as well as anyone within earshot (BTW, ever notice how these people get louder during this kind of thing ?), how to do something inane (typically related to electronic, non-life threatening equipment).
Nevermind that they are in the middle of a game/match. The thought of calling someone back when they are done is foreign to them. And it's important, the person that called them has to know RIGHT NOW how to turn on the dishwasher !!!

Cliff Clavin (the postman from 'Cheers'):
"Eh, you know you're chalking your stick the wrong way. The way you're supposed to do it is to stick the tip into the cavity in the cube, and twist back and forth until it sounds like someone's dragging their nails on a chalkboard, That's how you get the most chalk on your tip".

Yeah, I'm sure we all know at least one cat like this. The kind of person that tells newbies that they "need to hit the object ball here"... nevermind explaining that they need to imagine a ghost ball to find the contact point, just "aim it here" (which the newbies do, and subsequently miss), at which point the 'postman' mumbles to a decent player that the rookie "will be lucky to win one game tonite". This same character is guilty of claiming to have a 'perfect night', and that he went one season 'undefeated' (oddly enough, in a now-defunct out of area league, so his claims can't be proven).
Then this sad mailman gets to the table and can't make four balls in a row without missing, all the while telling his stories about playing Minnesota Fats "back when he lived around here", and that "George Bowlabooscha is working on my custom for me next week".

The Memory Stick (aka The Repeater):
Nice enough guy, but likes to relate the SAME STORY over and over to anyone that will listen on league night (God help you if it's an in-house league)...

To someone that hasn't heard the story (usually someone playing in the league their first year, as the Memory Stick has told all the veteran league players this story at least twelve times):
"Hey, did you guys ever play the Brick Sh!tters, back when Adam played for them ? One night Leon ran out on Dustin, but he left the 12 ball on that table ? Man, that $h!t had us laughin' all night !!"

Then to the unfortunate victim that has to hear the story the thirteenth time:
"Hey, I was tellin' these guys about the night we played Adam's team when he played the Brick Sh!tters. I told them the story about when Leon ran out on Dustin, but forgot the 12 ball !! They thought it was pretty funny !!"

I'm looking forward to reading more...:grin:

 

[jcs003]

the guy who talks about how good he used to be before he quit for many years. im actually talking about myself but its a true story. at least thats how i remember it.haha

 

[cuesblues]

i was there and made a sizeable donation

It must of been a sizeable donation because now everybody wants to move to San Antonio...:smile:

 

[Blue Hog ridr]

The Speculator.

The one that interrupts your game to ask if I think he needs a new tip. How much this one and that one costs.

The when asked if he wants me to take his shaft home and replace the tip,
he says, "maybe I'll leave it for now and get a hold of you later".

 

[cuesblues]

The Cue Guy

The guy that has a couple hundred cues, plays with a different cue every day, and never gets used to any of them

 

[Charlie Hustle]

The Drunk

Comes in at exactly the same time every day (usually around 4-5pm), sits at the exact same spot at the bar, and the bar tender already has his drink waiting as he sits down. Nobody has ever seen the guy shoot darts, put money in the juke box, play a game of pool, hell even hit a ball. But you can count on one thing, he will be back tomorrow.


(Also, he never stays past 7-8pm. He doesnt have time for all these pool players and shit. Just the drink ma'am, just the drink)

 

[Charlie Hustle]

The new Waitress

Can be spotted a mile away. Will approach you mulitple times within in about 10-15 minutes, and ask if you need anything or if everything is ok. Will do this as she stands in your line of sight on your most critical case shot. Can also be seen dusting and wiping down the cocktail tables, as all the other veteran waitresses stand around talking to each other or texting on their cell phones. Give her about 2 weeks, and she will be no where to be found, especially when you actually need a drink.

 

[scsuxci]

The Speculator.

The one that interrupts your game to ask if I think he needs a new tip. How much this one and that one costs.

The when asked if he wants me to take his shaft home and replace the tip,
he says, "maybe I'll leave it for now and get a hold of you later".

I can totally relate to this post.I always get the same type of Question,its either about a tip or if I think they need a pool glove.Last guy told me he
wanted a glove to try and I told him I have them in the car and I'll go grab one for him.I told him there $10 dollars,his reply was "I better hold off for now and wait till my next paycheck''and proceeded to walk to the bar and drink about $60 dollars in booze.To this day he still tells me he's gonna get one and that was 7 months ago.:smile:

 

[Charlie Hustle]

"I Gotta Go Johnny"

When I was about 17 and barely learning the game, Johnny would always ask me to play. Since I wanted to learn and get experience, I always agreed. Of course, it always came at a cost. He would say, "let play for something cheap like a race to 5 for $10" Not knowing any better I would play and donate to this guy. This went on for a year or so, nothing major but I prob lost like 100-200 bucks to the guy over that time period.

Now fast foward about 10 years, Johnny starts coming into the pool hall I play out of. No matter the time of day, or whats going on, I ask him to play something cheap and he replies, "maybe next time, I gotta go" I have literally asked him to play like 10 times and have yet to get a game or dollar out of the guy. The closest I came, was offering him the 7. We get our cues out, rack the balls and everything. Sure enough right before he breaks, he pulls the infamous line.

 

[alphadog]

Greener pastures
The solid player who is always talking about how much action they see
everywhere else /how there are more trnmnts / better players elsewhere.
Of course they dont want to flip it,enter it,or play anyone cause they
are players!

 

[Maniac]

The Teacher
The guy that has honed his game to where he can now make 3 balls in a row, so now he wants to instruct everyone in the poolroom whenever HE thinks they're doing something the wrong way. You will usually see this guy teaching some poor slug over on the corner table how to draw the rock by elevating the butt of the cue.

The Banker
The guy that after a match, whether it is action or a league match, always has to run to the ATM to get the money to pay you.

The Centerfold
Always the hottest chick in the room, and she KNOWS it. So, just to get into your head during her match against you, she wears clothing that bares a bit more than the average man can take:wink:.

Megaphone Man
Always talkin' pool, but......ALWAYS talkin'. Bad thing is, you can hear what he's saying from any table in the place. Thinks he can play, but is usually the one guy in the poolroom everybody makes fun of behind his back.

Stroker Ace
The guy that takes about 30 to 40 practice strokes (at @ 90 m.p.h.) before he finally breaks the rack. This sometimes is also the guy that takes so many practice strokes before he shoots that you are ready to blurt out "shoot the frikkin' shot, for cryin' out loud".


I could go on and on, but I'll save some for others to post!!!

Maniac (probably on somebody's list)

 

[measureman]

You would get your ass kicked for ordering water at The Fun Center.
I don't even think pool halls had water in the 60's.
If they did, I don't remember it.

You went into the bath room and drank out of the faucet.

 

[measureman]

The Cue Guy

The guy that has a couple hundred cues, plays with a different cue every day, and never gets used to any of them

Ted-Thats you.

 

[BrokeStroke]

Barroom Hero - The guy that shoots at the same bar night after night. His buddies tell him how good he is, then gets enough balls to step into a pool room.
Realizes he is in over his head, then starts telling stories about how he played the best shooters around for $100 a ball.

Convinced straight 8 is the ONLY game.

Playing safe is for pussies.

Shoots for exactly 1 hour.

Never comes back.

 

[cuesblues]

Ted-Thats you.

The Lucasi Guy


The guy who bought his playing cue at the electronics store...:smile: