It took a while but I did find it! Enjoy, guys
The National Billiard News, vol. 5, No. 12, August 1968, p.19
Tom Cosmo - The One, And Only
by Tom McEwen
(Most typos have been corrected.)
Tom Cosmo bills himself as "the world's only dancing comedy trick shot artist" and it's a deadball cinch he's never been challenged on that claim.
And he does dance around a bit, a little of thisa and a little of thata, as he shoots setups, and as he tells his jokes in a ratta-tat-tat double-talk and stuttering routine like:
"I us-s-s-sus-sss to b-b-b-be a uh r-r-r-ra-ra-ra-dio a-a-a-announce-nounce-nounce-nouncer b-b-b-but th-th-th-they fired me be-be-be-be-because I-I-I-I was t-t-t-to-too short."
So, after Cosmo'd gone throught 30 minutes of it at Angus Baker's tournament room the respite offered between the tense matches in the $5,000 pool tournament Baker's staging at his Tampa Street parlor - well, it isn't every day you have a chance to find out how a fellow became "the world's only dancing comedy trick shot artist."
It was up in the room over Baker's where he's staying while on location here, and Cosmo really never got off stage even during the talks there. He's small, wiry and really wears the big horned rims that make him look owlish even without the derby and the racoon coat he wears when he makes the big entrance for his act, suitcase in hand.
In truth, it was the fur coat, that got him in the dance-comedy pool business, as you will hear, and as WALT radio station says now, the only interruptions will if I have something to say. The rest is Thomas Anthony Cosmo, talking tenory, loud, a tad gravely, always excitedly, rambly, anxiously, proudly:
"Born? Oh, Waterbury, Connecticut. Where Ed Kelly the pool player's from. You know Ed Kelly. He's in Las Vegas now. But, I was raised in Wallingford, Connecticut. Morton Downey's town."
"Humh? No, I'm forty-eight. My father? He was an opera singer. I was an opera singer. My mother passed away early and after a while the whole family separated. My father, he was a tenor. He came over from Italy. Not me, I was born here."
COSMO, ANITA & THE CARIOCA
"What? Oh, well, after being a tenor, he, we were farmers. You know, vegetables. We had a horse and wagon. Went from house to house and sold fruit."
"Eventually, I became a singer and dancer. I was a natural. I had a good voice when I was a kid and sang at Polish weddings."
"Huh? I was ten to fifteen then, I guess, and me? Some Greek people adopted me. That's how I learned to cook and that's how I went to dance halls and sang."
"My first partner was Anita. Nice name, eh? Anita. The act was Cosmo and Anita."
"Do you remember a movie called 'Flying Down to Rio'? Well, we were hired to do advertising in department stores for the movie. We did the Carioca in stores. Anita lives in West Haven, Connecticut now."
A thoughtful host and himself dehydrated by the frenzy of his whirlwind act, and it's that ("This act's got class, ain't it? I knew you people would appreciate class," he says as he picks his nose). As a pool player, well, he can beat all the local yokels, but his forte is comedy, says champ Luther Lassiter, who appreciates Cosmo's hard work at his routine, and says, "probably that fellow, like so many, is ill-paid."
But, back to "I was in vaudeville, and a burlesque comedian, then later, of course, an exhibitionist pool player. Cueball Kelly, you know his name, he used to book me. He and Silvestre Livingston, another famous name, did too," said Cosmo, resuming.
"Most of this was up until 1955, when vaudeville went, Television was the thing, well, I became choreographer."
"I had my own shows. You know, fifteen or twenty girls. We played such places as Wilksbury, Pa and in the East California, too. Like Billy Grey's Bandbox."
"What? Oh, I had a Spanish show and we called it the Latin Revue. And, I had a Chinese show and we called it Cosmo and the Oriental Revue. Right? Sound okay?"
THE BENEVOLENT MRS. STRATENBURG
"Then, years ago I was a stooge. Did doubletalk, stuttering ... you know, I was a riveter ... a r-r-r-r-riv-v-v-v-v-et-ter, a professor, a comic with a stripper too."
"The pool began in the sixties, then all kinds of work along the way. I was a dance teacher at Bernie Sager's Dance Studio on Miami Beach. You've heard of Bernie Sager, of course. He's the biggest. I taught social dancing."
"Well, one time, Mrs. Stratenburg came in for lessons and she and her husband were retired from the fur business so she gave me several fur pieces and I got the big idea. I had this coat made," the one he wears is of several pieces and it is so noticeable, and intended to be. "So, I worked up this emcee routine, wearing the coat, dancing around the table and doing trick shots. I'm the only one who dances around a pool table and shoots. I do a little ballet, a little social, a little eccentric and some pantomime."
"That's how it started, and all. Now, I've written a book, which I need to get published, called Billiard Ballet. I could sell it after my act."
"What? Oh, it's only fifty pages. It's a new and easy method for shooting pool. I'm planning to publish it myself."
"I'm also making a movie. I'm going to call it 'The Clown Prince of Billiards'. How's that? Doing that as soon as I can find an angel, you know."
"What's that? Sure. It's a living. Next week I open at the Apollo Billiards in
Pinellas Park."
"And, it's show biz."
(Reprinted, with permission, FLORIDA MORNING TRIBUNE)