Here's mine:
I was playing in a tournament and there were 8 players left. I was going to play in approx 30 minutes when a big gas attack hit me so I went outside, past the weed smokers, into a secluded area of the parking lot and 'let er rip'. You know the old saying, never trust a fart, well yeah you got it. I made my way back into the building trying to hide it the best I could and into the restroom. My underwear was covered, and the back of my khaki shorts had a spot 3 inches wide and six inches long. I was in panic mode.
I stuffed my underwear into the trash can as far as I could, took off my shorts and all they had was a bar of soap at the sink. There I was with a t-shirt and a pair of shoes and nothing else. When I heard someone coming on the bouncy wood floors I would duck into a stall till they left. I finally got the color out, but the shorts were soaked in the back. I got them as dry as I could with the paper towels they had, walked back to my chair and sat down. I immediately jumped up, yelling a few choice words, stating that someone had poured beer in my chair and it was all over me. The bartender threw me a towel and in front of everyone I dried my shorts, still pissed off at the imaginary person who had done this.
I lost my next match and hurried out of there, but I got away with it.