Billiard quotes

MikeJanis said:
"I DON'T HAVE A GAMBLING PROBLEM, I HAVE A WINNING PROBLEM !"

This brought the room down.

I still laugh everytime I think about it even though I never got paid for that last set.

Mj
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barrett9ball said:
"You shoot like I f^$#K, everything goes in but the balls"
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LMFAO!!! Those are great!! :p
 
made the ball?

Once when I made a sloppy shot (big pocket table and I hit the rail before the ball went in, I said, "wow, I almost missed that shot"......My opponent said, "YOU DID MSS THAT SHOT".........
 
Colin Colenso said:
quote from an aussie, originally Kiwi, called Digby, 120kg, who was almost unbeatable in his prime. He played pool, but also achieved a 143 in snooker.

"He'll miss, and when he does, I'll muuuuuurrrrrder him"

We laughed when he said it, but when he played, it was pretty much true.

The way he said murder just filled you with delightful fear.
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Heres a quote I hear all the time: "......was unbeatable in his prime" ....is said about nearly every single top player out there. If they were all unbeatable, they must have never played each other! :rolleyes:
 
"Wouldn't bet fat meat's greasy"- unknown.

"Of course I'm cheating! How else am I supposed to win?"- "Seattle" Sam Trivett, caught with cards on his chair while gambling with a long-term opponent. Opponent kept coming back.
 
What about "I think I need a new doctor, because the pill that I got this time ain't worth a shit" (Overheard while playing a 5 handed game of 41).
Also overheard in a pool room, " (player 1)Look, here comes my fish. (bystander) What do you mean, fish? (player 1) Don't he look like a sucker to you?
 
quotes

I am gonna run him off the table as soon as I get even.

I have always liked, "This is the first shot for the rest of your life".

If I lose, I'll put my girlfriend up for a night.

You're shooting like a whore in heat.

If I could just figure out english, I could be real good.

I like to bank balls, not shoot them straight in.

I beat my girlfriend every time.

I have to play right handed because of digititis.

It isn't over till the fat lady sings (then have a plump female friend
step up and start singing when it is your turn)

I've run a hundred before (after missing the 2nd ball in the run)

When you have a chance to get into the hole, go the most
direct route.
 
I just finished "From Rags to Rifleman", lent to me by Vagabond. A kid comes up to Buddy Hall and asks him if he has a "real job." Buddy answers, "Well I've been offered jobs before, but I've learned to just say no."
 
Here are a couple of mine:

"You're not only a nit, you're a nit-o-crite."
"I couldn't win if you let me drop the nine on the floor."
"I was told I can't beat you even, so you've got the 8."
"Outrunning the nuts is what keeps me sane"
"That guy couldn't fall out of bed and hit the floor."

I have more but I can't think of them right now.

One of my favorites was one I heard Jimmy Mataya say, "carry cash, it aint heavy." One of the local cuemakers around here, who makes a good hitting cue, has that on his answering machine. The irony is that he never seems to have any cash and is NEVER in action.

Oh here's one story, a group of guys are barking at each other talking about how they will stick he balls up each other's ass. As in "give me the 7/8 and I'll stick em' right up your ass." After about 10 minutes of this somebody yells from across the room, "make sure you clean the balls before anyone else uses them."

John
 
ok ok ok

ChopStick said:
This one is on the end of one of Grady's one pocket tapes. UJ was in a one pocket game( I don't remember who with) and he had to use the bridge to shoot over a ball at his pocket. Well he made the ball but when he lifted the bridge he touched the ball he was shooting over. The other guy called a foul and insisted that UJ owed a ball. Back in those days it was touch fouls on the cue ball only.

Well they argued for about ten minutes and UJ got mad and finally he said "You are saying that I owe a ball for touching that one." The other guy said "Yea". UJ then took both hands and shoved all the balls in front of his pocket and said "Might as well owe two!". :D
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Now that's a great move. I will use that someday. If it get's me in a fight, oh well. It will still be funny. Sam
 
Billiard Quotes

An "Old School" pool player and very good one pocket player said to me while looking for a matchup "Hell, I don't want to play a champion, I want to play a chumpion". About fell out of my chair!
 
A Stranger Playing Your Pigeon

One of the oldest & simplest, when you come to the room and a stranger is playing one of your pigeons, you lean over and whisper "What's he given ya". If that doesn't work, you talk to a railbird just loud enough for your player to hear" Isn't that the guy who beat Strickland in the World Cup? (or use your imagination).
 
Can't recall where I heard it, but during a partners game, calling your partner "lantern"........because he's not very bright and you had to carry him.
 
Don't Know....

Don't know if this is a quote but this was told to me by old pool player. Will always remember it.

YOU KNOW HOW TO TELL WHEN A POOL PLAYER IS LYING?
HIS LIPS ARE MOVING!!!!
 
jrhendy said:
One of the oldest & simplest, when you come to the room and a stranger is playing one of your pigeons, you lean over and whisper "What's he given ya". If that doesn't work, you talk to a railbird just loud enough for your player to hear" Isn't that the guy who beat Strickland in the World Cup? (or use your imagination).
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I had a similar trick for when players were checking to see who they drew in the tourney. Very seriously I'd say something like, "S$%T, you got John Smith". Pause, wait for the obvious question. "He just won the state title" or something to that effect.

It's hilarious to see them deep swollow and try to say something that displays an ounce of remaining confidence, usually something about gaining experience. :rolleyes: Then I'd laugh and tell them the complete opposite, like "He couldn't draw a ping pong ball".

One saying I made up that got a few laughs, when describing a player that has just choked, or "cracked like a dozen eggs" was "He tensed up like an eyeball full of mace!" :p
 
Mr. Wilson said:
Can't recall where I heard it, but during a partners game, calling your partner "lantern"........because he's not very bright and you had to carry him.
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You probably heard it from me posted earlier in this thread. Glad you remembered it. You lantern! :p
 
Local player down here in Miami told me this story a while back. Ray Martin was in a tournament and had to make a spot shot for the win. He misses and someone from the crowd yells out "Thats shot #100!".

In case you dont know, there is no spot shot listed in Cool Cats book, 99 Critical Shots in Pool.
 
One of my favorite sayings (which I rarely use unless I'm ticked off) is:

"You'd be better off shooting with your cock, you just might get a ball"
 
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