That was a close one
Do Relationships Destroy Your Game?
- Thread starter Scott Brazier
- Start date
That was a close one
My wife likes that I play pool and doesn't mind if I gamble cheap. I usually get out and play 3-4 times a week and I she supports me because she knows it makes me happy. She also likes pool.
Being a pro in any sport is a job.
It was normal for me to work 10 to 12 hours a day 7 days a week. It is what I needed to do to support my family and be able to provide the life style that I wanted for all of us, plus it was a requirement of my job.
If I were a pro pool player it would be the same. It has to be considered a job and if spending 10 to 12 hours per day 7 days a week is required then I would do it and my wife would have to accept it as she did for me in the profession that I had.
If it was just a passion and addiction where I was neglecting my family then I think that my priorities were wrong and it would also be the same as any other addiction that was destroying their life and mine.
On a side note I had a little fling with a girl thatwas 23, married and divorced with 3 kids? I was after sex and sex only and didn't want a relationship or be tied down and she was willing and available. She said that the reason for her divorce was because her husband was never home as he worked 10 to 12 hours a day and 7 days a week as a plumber and then spend too much time in a bar after his shift.
Her ex had her children and I said something must be wrong when the mother doesn't get possession, this was in 1965. She said that was because he made a lot of money and could support them and she since she didn't work she couldn't support them. She also claimed that she wouldn't marry again as she wanted to be free and not tied down. I said that she would probably marry the first one that asked her.
The real problem was she was a slut and was available to anyone, any time and anywhere. This affair lasted about 2 months until some a hole divorce his wife and left 3 kids behind to marry her. She told me about it and said the we could meet on the side. I don't know how it ever ended up with them because I never got back to her and cut it off.
Moral of this is while you are away playing your wife may be doing some playing of her own. You need to have priorities in life, take care of the home front first and keep your family number 1 if you value them. If pool is your profession then it is like any other job otherwise it is just a hobby, past time and entertainment.
It was normal for me to work 10 to 12 hours a day 7 days a week. It is what I needed to do to support my family and be able to provide the life style that I wanted for all of us, plus it was a requirement of my job.
If I were a pro pool player it would be the same. It has to be considered a job and if spending 10 to 12 hours per day 7 days a week is required then I would do it and my wife would have to accept it as she did for me in the profession that I had.
If it was just a passion and addiction where I was neglecting my family then I think that my priorities were wrong and it would also be the same as any other addiction that was destroying their life and mine.
On a side note I had a little fling with a girl thatwas 23, married and divorced with 3 kids? I was after sex and sex only and didn't want a relationship or be tied down and she was willing and available. She said that the reason for her divorce was because her husband was never home as he worked 10 to 12 hours a day and 7 days a week as a plumber and then spend too much time in a bar after his shift.
Her ex had her children and I said something must be wrong when the mother doesn't get possession, this was in 1965. She said that was because he made a lot of money and could support them and she since she didn't work she couldn't support them. She also claimed that she wouldn't marry again as she wanted to be free and not tied down. I said that she would probably marry the first one that asked her.
The real problem was she was a slut and was available to anyone, any time and anywhere. This affair lasted about 2 months until some a hole divorce his wife and left 3 kids behind to marry her. She told me about it and said the we could meet on the side. I don't know how it ever ended up with them because I never got back to her and cut it off.
Moral of this is while you are away playing your wife may be doing some playing of her own. You need to have priorities in life, take care of the home front first and keep your family number 1 if you value them. If pool is your profession then it is like any other job otherwise it is just a hobby, past time and entertainment.
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There is no greater joy I found in this game than when playing against my son on our pool table and sharing this wonderful sport together.
The night he finally kicked the milk crate to the side and was cuing up on his own two feet was a memory that will last my lifetime.
My avatar photo is him firing away at Sandcastle Billiards after an evening session of Accu Stats Make it Happen (another great memory).
Each of us find joy and harmony in this game in different ways.
Sure I don't get as much practice in as I would like. However it's a hardly a "mistake" in being married with kids. And surely a thread to discuss the topic of relationships and pool is not even close to asking for absolution. That's a little heavy on interpretation of the original post.
Life is a matter of priorities. Entering into a relationship you can bet your significant other will want to be your main priority. When pool supersedes your significant other discontent will destroy your relationship. I've seen it in pool, golf and cards. If you want to spend the majority of your time pursuing these endeavors then you might want to figure out how to be alone or cultivate casual relationships because the road you're on will lead you to there anyway.
I'm gonna buy my wife flowers tonight
In 25 years the wife has never called, texted or anything else on pool night or baseball night. Not ever at tourney as well. NOT one time. Some buddies say that's because she's with her boyfriend while I'm out playing pool or baseball, but hey, it might be a good trade off to play well
In order to play pool at the highest level, pool must be your first priority. There are very few players that get to the highest level and remain there without that priority.
It takes lots and lots of hours of playing just to stay in stroke. If you can't find enough hours to stay in stroke with the big dogs, then you aren't competitive.
It takes lots and lots of hours of playing just to stay in stroke. If you can't find enough hours to stay in stroke with the big dogs, then you aren't competitive.
Banks
Banned
Well, i explained to her, something like.. did she like going out for dinner?
When I was first dating my wife...
When I first met my wife, I was playing 5-7 days a week 6-12 hours a day.
I actually did back off a little to spend more time with her, but one of the first things I stated to her was this. "Don't ever ask me to choose between the game and you, cause you won't like the answer".
It has nothing to do with loving pool more than her or whatever. It has to do with if you love someone, you should never ask them to give up what they love.
I would never tell her, you have to stop doing photography or modeling. Her ex-fiance had told her he didn't want her doing runway modeling for victoria secret. I would never ask her to not do that, so it wouldn't be right for her to ever ask me not to play pool.
Jaden
When I first met my wife, I was playing 5-7 days a week 6-12 hours a day.
I actually did back off a little to spend more time with her, but one of the first things I stated to her was this. "Don't ever ask me to choose between the game and you, cause you won't like the answer".
It has nothing to do with loving pool more than her or whatever. It has to do with if you love someone, you should never ask them to give up what they love.
I would never tell her, you have to stop doing photography or modeling. Her ex-fiance had told her he didn't want her doing runway modeling for victoria secret. I would never ask her to not do that, so it wouldn't be right for her to ever ask me not to play pool.
Jaden
My wife has complained about pool...
It's funny, I'm not much of a drinker and for years I didn't drink at all. But there has been several times where I played pool all night and didn't get home till like 6 or 7 the next morning. Not one complaint...
Then I start going to a friend's house that has a party like once a month and I crash there because I drink at the party and won't risk driving drunk, and she gets all bent out of shape...
Jaden
p.s. I need to just start telling her I'm playing pool instead...lol except I don't like lying...
I'm gonna buy my wife flowers tonight
Some buddies say that's because she's with her boyfriend while I'm out playing pool or baseball, but hey, it might be a good trade off to play well
It's funny, I'm not much of a drinker and for years I didn't drink at all. But there has been several times where I played pool all night and didn't get home till like 6 or 7 the next morning. Not one complaint...
Then I start going to a friend's house that has a party like once a month and I crash there because I drink at the party and won't risk driving drunk, and she gets all bent out of shape...
Jaden
p.s. I need to just start telling her I'm playing pool instead...lol except I don't like lying...
This thread has more to do with relationship therapy than pool. Every guy with a passion for something has to deal with the issue of balance. You want to be a married pool player? Well, you have to make compromises as does she.
In my life, I have the "Find My Friends" app turned on my iPhone for my wife. That way, she can pull up the app and see I'm at the poolroom without calling or texting. Do I lose a degree of privacy? Sure, she can always find out where I am but I also don't get bothered very much when I'm playing.
Also, I tell her my plans and then I stick to them. If I say I'm leaving the poolroom at 8pm, I make sure I'm out the door at 8pm. If I'm looking for a game and plan on playing all day, I let her know that too. I don't switch gears and change plans at 8pm.
Most of the time, she's very encouraging. This past summer, I spent half the trip in Las Vegas alone because she didn't want to spend 10 days watching me play pool. As well, if I gamble at pool and make money, I split it with her which was probably the greatest idea I ever had. Now, she's practically begging people to gamble with me. I do this for poker too. When we were on a cruise, she just walked up to me and said, "I signed you up in the poker tournament. Go make us some money." I proceeded to make $800 which gave her just enough money to have a fun shopping trip.
If you go out of your way to share in the spoils, there's a reasonable chance she's going to back you more.
In my life, I have the "Find My Friends" app turned on my iPhone for my wife. That way, she can pull up the app and see I'm at the poolroom without calling or texting. Do I lose a degree of privacy? Sure, she can always find out where I am but I also don't get bothered very much when I'm playing.
Also, I tell her my plans and then I stick to them. If I say I'm leaving the poolroom at 8pm, I make sure I'm out the door at 8pm. If I'm looking for a game and plan on playing all day, I let her know that too. I don't switch gears and change plans at 8pm.
Most of the time, she's very encouraging. This past summer, I spent half the trip in Las Vegas alone because she didn't want to spend 10 days watching me play pool. As well, if I gamble at pool and make money, I split it with her which was probably the greatest idea I ever had. Now, she's practically begging people to gamble with me. I do this for poker too. When we were on a cruise, she just walked up to me and said, "I signed you up in the poker tournament. Go make us some money." I proceeded to make $800 which gave her just enough money to have a fun shopping trip.
If you go out of your way to share in the spoils, there's a reasonable chance she's going to back you more.
My wife completely supports my pool. She usually goes to tournaments and league with me. She keeps track of the scoring, what tables my matches are on, and who I play. God bless her, she never complains. I also have a pretty busy schedule in my shop at home that I do pretty well at besides my full time job, I dont hide money from her and I always let her know if I am looking at a cue or something and let her know before I buy one. I got her a cue and she keeps saying she is going to play pool but really doesnt yet, at least for the 5 years I have been at this so far.
I should also add, my wife likes to run in races like half marathons and stuff. I will help her train (although it usually means riding a bike along side her) and take her to events. It's all about compromise.
If you expect your wife to take special interest in what you do, even if that means holding down the fort when you're gone, you should look for ways to pay back the favor. The more enjoyable pool is for her, the more you're going to get to play.
If you expect your wife to take special interest in what you do, even if that means holding down the fort when you're gone, you should look for ways to pay back the favor. The more enjoyable pool is for her, the more you're going to get to play.
There is only so much time in life. If you take family, work, and a hobby, you have to balance that time. IMO you can be good at all three. But to be great at one of those three would shift the balance in one direction or the other. Good thing about life is you get to choose your path.
For me it takes the work to ensure that the family is #1 in my priority list, so pool will always be lower priority. I have accepted the fact and I will never be able to put the time in for pool. My level has plateaued and I am happy with that. As I have gotten older, I have dropped and added different hobbies but always come back to pool.
~Perk
For me it takes the work to ensure that the family is #1 in my priority list, so pool will always be lower priority. I have accepted the fact and I will never be able to put the time in for pool. My level has plateaued and I am happy with that. As I have gotten older, I have dropped and added different hobbies but always come back to pool.
~Perk
Facts man, thankfully my social life is way worse than the little time I shoot pool. I get into much bigger fights when I randomly get tagged in a photo lol