Egotistical Jerk Who's Stuck in the Past....(long)

Ktown D said:
I think all of these responses aimed toward getting you above all of his antics are great. Improving in this area will only help you to cope with other annoying issues issues or people in the future. But unfortunately I am not wired that way so suffice it to say I would have hit him in his f**king mouth. That is just who I am, no apologies.

Disclaimer--> I think you made the correct decision in avoiding a physical confrontation.

I disagree...it is not the wiring in your head, it is the programming. Programs, unlike wiring, can be changed. It is a powerful way to get better output. GIGO and all that.

Jeff Livingston
 
Good Post. I would have probably said something to the guy after he called me a p**sy or knocked him out. Kudos for not blowing up. I am a pretty good five or six by APA standards. Even though I've never played in the APA, I can beat most of the fives and sixes I see in the pool room. With that being said, most of the time when I gamble, I am getting a spot from someone better than me. Sometimes I will try and high roll whoever I'm playing against if I'm losing. Not because I want to be an asshole, but because I play the same (Good or Bad) for $1000 as I do for $20. However, unlike the clown in your story, I would never talk or be disrespectful while someone is shooting. I think that type of sharking is very uncalled for and should not be tolerated. Getting someone to up the bet or highrolling, however, is an integral part of gambling. If I'm losing and I don't think my opponent can handle the pressure of playing for more, of course I'm going to try and up the bet. They may choose to up it or just keep playing for the same ammount. Either way, at the end of the session, I shake hands and move on with no hard feelings every time. I consider myself an above average gambler in pool because I've played golf for considerable ammounts of money and I know how to match up. Now if I could only play pool as well as I play golf!
 
chefjeff said:
I disagree...it is not the wiring in your head, it is the programming. Programs, unlike wiring, can be changed. It is a powerful way to get better output. GIGO and all that.

Jeff Livingston

Once in a while it really is the wiring. In addition to that, sometimes the programming (Pavlovian & behavioral conditioning) can be so deeply ingrained as to constitute virtual wiring.
Wiring can be changed too, it is just more drastic. Pre-frontal lobotomy. :D
 
Ktown D said:
I think all of these responses aimed toward getting you above all of his antics are great. Improving in this area will only help you to cope with other annoying issues issues or people in the future. But unfortunately I am not wired that way so suffice it to say I would have hit him in his f**king mouth. That is just who I am, no apologies.

Disclaimer--> I think you made the correct decision in avoiding a physical confrontation.

I draw a line when someone calls me a p*ssy in front of a crowd of people. I would have, at that point, calmly and clearly called on him to step outside with me to discuss this matter and for the same wagerings and sidebettings that we had established inside. You don't have to get angry. You don't have to have all these pent-up feelings. Just settle it. He probably would've decided to shut up right then and there. It worked for me before (being 6'1" 220 lbs. don't hurt matters none). Hell, I may be older, but I ain't dead yet!

FWIW, I condition myself for sharking whenever my son and I get together and play at my house. We talk plenty of sh*t back and forth to one another. I put hard rock music through the stereo at fairly loud levels. It's just an evening of distracting bantering, movements, and music. It helps me to focus though come league nights. Try this with a friend or relative. Works for me!!!

Maniac
 
Friendship?

Am I going to be the only one to respond that the value of the friendship should be considered? Maybe being an older guy (65), I have come to value friendships more highly. After a few friends die, you realize the value of friendships.
 
That was a great story - normally I can't read posts that are that long, but I felt like I was right there with you. Good writing!
 
catscradle said:
How do you practice and improve? Seek out assholes to play? If you want to practice controlling your draw shot, you set it up again and again. The place I started playing about 2 years ago is not really a pool hall, it is a bar/nightclub with pool tables. Since playing there I have improved my ability to ignore ambient distractions like jukeboxes, bar staff, and players who are just clueless about pool etiquette; but I don't find that an irritating a-hole shows up often enough to make much progress on that front. It particularly bothers me when it is somebody I think should know better.


IMO, everyone has to find their own way. Personally, I used a loud talk radio station and "forced" myself to use my visual sense more than my aural. It sounds goofy, but it works for me.


Eric >often mistaken for Deaf
 
Maniac said:
I draw a line when someone calls me a p*ssy in front of a crowd of people. I would have, at that point, calmly and clearly called on him to step outside with me to discuss this matter and for the same wagerings and sidebettings that we had established inside. You don't have to get angry. You don't have to have all these pent-up feelings. Just settle it. He probably would've decided to shut up right then and there. It worked for me before (being 6'1" 220 lbs. don't hurt matters none). Hell, I may be older, but I ain't dead yet!

Maniac
I'm a pretty good feller, honest injun. But if someone is going to question my the size of my jewel bag by calling me a puss then I promise things will get out of sorts. I'm 6 ft and 255 and played football into college so my appearance doesn't make me the most logical choice to test your manhood on. With that being said the guy calling me names might be tougher than I am, he'll just have to prove it. Physical violence is not the best resolution to problems and I am not advocating that it should be used freely. I understand that my willingness to rumble has put me in bad situations before and hopefully I will never be a similar scenario again. As I have gotten older things don't bother me as much but I am afraid this situation Cuetech was in might have done the trick.

Can't we all just get along.
 
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This jackass just wore his insecurity on his sleeve, IMHO. He knew he was losing and started acting out.

Like the others said, the more you can get to where you zone out such antics, the better off you'll be in the long run. The more you react to such a person's behavior, the more positive reinforcement you give them that their behavior works, and the more they'll do it, and the more justified they'll feel in doing it ("hey, it works, right?").
 
Hierovision said:
Just keep resetting and going through your routine until he stops talking, no matter how long it takes. He'll get the idea and the side-betters will make him shut up just so you'll shoot. Taking longer will help calm you down too.

Not bad advice here.
 
No matter how good I play anytime I beat him in 1-hole, ne never acknowledges it.

I just want to know why you need him to acknowledge your game. It is obvious you are a better player. If i were you i would pound this guy every time i get the chance. You should be calling him and telling him to meet you every friday night. You got to be the hunter not the hunted when it comes to winning. I need to remind myself of it every now and then. Good Luck! =))
 
BillPorter said:
Am I going to be the only one to respond that the value of the friendship should be considered? Maybe being an older guy (65), I have come to value friendships more highly. After a few friends die, you realize the value of friendships.

To me friendship is much more important than any game.

Obviously, this guy was in to win no matter what the cost was going to be. I have a friend that does the same crap. Jumps up when your getting ready to shoot, talks to everyone in the room while you're shooting, you name it and he'll try it. The thing is, he plays well enough that he doesn't have to do that stuff.

Actually, what I've found is that most of the time when someone tries to shark you they are showing you what affects their game.
 
cuetechasaurus said:
I would have to say that tonight was probably one of the ugliest experiences I've had playing pool in the last few years. It's been more than half a day, but I'm still fuming over it....

He left and didn't say a word, even as he payed me and the sidebettors. It's sad that such a small amount of money, and such a huge ego, can ruin a friendship. Usually by this time I'm pretty calm about something that pissed me off hours ago. But right now I feel like I should have punched him.
You know there was a guy exactly like this years ago. Always talking $h!t and dropping his cue and twirling it and walking around the table... you get the point. Guys like this there is one way you could handle it. Next time you play him; that is if you play him again, make a prenuptual agreement. Tell him that when you are at the table all he can do is sit quietly in his chair. He can't talk to anyone or do anything. He can't ask for a drink or even go to the bathroom. Basically, bet him say $20 that he can't sit still in his chair when it's your turn at the table. If he breaches the agreement, tell him that it is also a forfeit and needs to pay you and table time. It may cost you $20 to really see how you handle this loud mouth, but then again you may get $20 and a free game.
 
cuetechasaurus said:
... But right now I feel like I should have punched him.
Goodness, no! There's no sport in that. Bring him to Derby City, where there will be another former one-pocket player with huge carbuncles of hundreds in his pockets, a horrible yen to gamble, and a need for dental work. He will be easy to find -- just go towards the woofing. Or maybe your friend already knows 'Tooth.
 
You're not the only one, but you've come close to the reason IMO why a lot of the younger players (under 35 years of age) don't really know the meaning for 'friendship'.

In the many pool halls I've encountered, not many players have enough nerve to gamble with 'unknowns'. So, they match up with players they know, ego match, money match or whatever. There is a 'safety' perception in these this 'familiar' matchup.

But, like you pointed out, there is also a chance to 'burn bridges' and lose friends, because of 'squabbles' at the table. Same thing happens on the Golf course, or at the poker table.

Completing not only builds character, it also brings out what kind of character you are.


BillPorter said:
Am I going to be the only one to respond that the value of the friendship should be considered? Maybe being an older guy (65), I have come to value friendships more highly. After a few friends die, you realize the value of friendships.
 
Pool and Gambling

People tell on themselves when they start gambling. Their true character is revealed. And many people do not handle losing well. Some get mad at themself and act out in that way, and some take their hostility out on their opponent or a railbird.

It is your choice then on how you handle this situation. You can choose to react in kind, quit the game or try to ignore it. For myself, when I was younger and a more serious money player, I came to the realization that a player who must resort to sharking techniques, does not think they can win on the up and up. This knowledge empowered me and made it rather easy for me to overcome the sharking. When it began to happen, I used to think to myself, "I've got my man, he's weak now".

At this juncture in time, if I gamble with someone and we have any problems or arguments, I will usually choose not to continue the game. I no longer play for a living and I don't need the aggravation. One example is a recent One Pocket game I had with an old rival, who is a fairly good player. This man who will go unnamed is quite wealthy from real estate holdings, and we usually play for $20 a game. A very social game.

Some years back when we were playing, he got very testy with me, and I told him, "B--, if we are going to continue to have these problems I'd rather not play". And that was the end of it. He calmed down and we returned to a our friendly but spirited game.

So back to the present, and I pound this guy for like eight games in a row, and he is beside himself, but knows he cannot start to cry too much with me. I really don't want to hear it. He is wealthy, the bet is small, and I never say a word when he is shooting (or move a muscle). Finally after another few games, he quits, saying he has an appointment. He is quietly pissed, and asks me if I'm getting the time. I say sure, and he says he has to go to his car. Okay?

I take the balls to the counter and pay the bill, about $25. B-- comes in and hands me several twenties and several rolls of quarters. Yes, rolls of quarters. But it's all there. He says it's money from his washing machines. Okay I say. He has to run and takes off, a little embarassed I think. After he's gone, several players come over to me and tell me how glad they are to see him lose. Seems he has managed to piss off just about everyone in that poolroom at one time or another. Even the counter guy is happy and takes the quarters and gives me bills for them.

On the way home I think about what has transpired. I'm glad I played well and beat a good player, on some tough equipment. But somehow I feel bad for B--. He was obviously mad and unhappy. Sad for him. He has more money than he will ever need, a beautiful home, great health for a man well over 50, a nice lady and is a damn good pool player. And has been nearly all his adult life.

Yet he is unable to control his inner demons. He is universally disliked in his home pool room and I am an outsider and occasional visitor there. I present this to you without an answer. All I can say is that people's true character is revealed when they gamble, whether that be good or bad.
 
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I think i would have stopped right when he called me a p***y took my cue apart and never played him again. Then i would keep my eye on him waiting for him to leave. Then follow him outside and let him know i feel he was disrespecting me and that the next time he disrespected me it would result in a fight ! At that point he would have 2 choices say he was sorry and it wouldnt happen again or since we are allready in the parking lot we could just take care of it right there. :D

Larry
 
Whew, when I saw the title, "Egotistical Jerk Who's Stuck in the Past", I, like most of us, wondered if you were talking about me. ;)

First of all, congrats for not losing your cool. That would have come to no good. However, knowing how he was, you probably should have quit the minute he started with side action.

I've seen this type of personality before. Usually, it's in casino's. The person starts betting large and talking a lot, and draws a crowd. It's an attention getting device. Sharking should be reserved for the woofing before the match. Once play has commenced, grandstanding big mouths are not sharking, they're cheating.

He crossed the line. You promptly quit ahead and insulted him. That's a nice slap in the face. You did right. You did good.

Chris

Ps. If you're ahead, you can counter any insult. Like "well, I guess you're a funny dick, because you're getting drilled by a pussy".
 
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TATE said:
Ps. If you're ahead, you can counter any insult. Like "well, I guess you're a funny dick, because you're getting drilled by a pussy".


lol ...nice one Chris .... I have different ways to react to a**h*** like that, depending on how they strike me at the time. I am usually pretty self contained, and just business on the table.

Sometimes, I will just shoot them a little grin, and then proceed to run the table quietly, then tell them, 'You're rack'.

People that shark usually overreact to something fired back them, and their sharking ends up working against them.

I might have said, 'Listen, all the old timers around here said you have never played any better than what you do now'.

And I might have just told him to 'Shut the f**k up, and sit your a** down when I am shooting'.

And I might have told him, 'Listen, sharking isn't going to help you, I am still going to beat you like a red-headed stepchild'. And let him stew on it.

Were you getting a cut of the sidebets? A lot of players just tell sidebetters that if they don't get a percentage of the bet, they aren't going to like the results. After all, they are making money off your skill, not theirs.

It is best to not let them get under your skin, and just shoot a cutting edge satirical remark back at them. It gets to them everytime.
 
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