Being a young guy, this thread is absolutley fascinating. I look forward to reading more of this stuff!!! Great thread!
Fat's One Liners
- Thread starter Island Drive
- Start date
Pure class...Island Drive said:
If your talking about Richie Florence (Fast Eddie), then that was the time frame.ironman said:
Saw fats for the last time in person at Galaxy Billiards in San Antonio in 1983 with two beautiful blonde girls as part of the act. Witnessed the eating capability the same night at a place where if you could eat a 48oz steak with all the fixings it was free. Needless to say, his was free.
OldHasBeen said:
I remember that gruffy old voice and how hot he would get at people too. I thought sometimes he was gonna pass out when he lost his breath.
The guy had more loose bolts than a Studebaker and I don't think he really meant to knock people like he did, he just did it without thinking.
San Jose Dick came through and put down a pretty good spread with Sid, trying to trap Piccoli the Bookie and it was going good. Old Pic had gone off pretty goodd a few times and was a score if it was laid down right.
Dick finally had him in a good spot (like 9-7, the nuts) and in walks Marty and he walks right up to Dick and shakes his hand and makes his speech. Pic conceded the game and paid off and then turned and handed Marty 10 dollar bill as he unscrewed. That Dick was so hot and turned so red I thought his head was gonna pop. Ten minutes later Dick was out the door and never to be seen around Denver again.
OldHasBeen said:
I remember that gruffy old voice and how hot he would get at people too. I thought sometimes he was gonna pass out when he lost his breath.
The guy had more loose bolts than a Studebaker and I don't think he really meant to knock people like he did, he just did it without thinking.
San Jose Dick came through and put down a pretty good spread with Sid, trying to trap Piccoli the Bookie and it was going good. Old Pic had gone off pretty goodd a few times and was a score if it was laid down right.
Dick finally had him in a good spot (like 9-7, the nuts) and in walks Marty and he walks right up to Dick and shakes his hand and makes his speech. Pic conceded the game and paid off and then turned and handed Marty 10 dollar bill as he unscrewed. That Dick was so hot and turned so red I thought his head was gonna pop. Ten minutes later Dick was out the door and never to be seen around Denver again.
Omaha Fats/Marty Kaiman (sp??) Johnston City
Marty would hold up his cue and say "I'm the gratest one handed player in the world" with those huge eyebrows and that smile/smirk on his face, that the good players knew what 'that' was all about/the sell, but he could beat most all the short stops one handed out of enough money to get a hot dog and some thing to drink and a room for the night. He also used to 'sell his lines' by reminding us all that he was on Wide World of Sports back in his day, I think he was, but his bull loney was never even close to Fatty's. I can still see him holdin/waving his stick in the air. 'IM THE GREATEST ONE HANDED PLAYER IN THE WORLD' PURE ENTERTAINMENT AT JANSCOS 67-70.
Marty would hold up his cue and say "I'm the gratest one handed player in the world" with those huge eyebrows and that smile/smirk on his face, that the good players knew what 'that' was all about/the sell, but he could beat most all the short stops one handed out of enough money to get a hot dog and some thing to drink and a room for the night. He also used to 'sell his lines' by reminding us all that he was on Wide World of Sports back in his day, I think he was, but his bull loney was never even close to Fatty's. I can still see him holdin/waving his stick in the air. 'IM THE GREATEST ONE HANDED PLAYER IN THE WORLD' PURE ENTERTAINMENT AT JANSCOS 67-70.
OldHasBeen
Tom Ferry
I think Fast Eddie was Ronnie!
Not to nit-pick but I think Ronnie was the one referred to in the movie as Fast Eddie. I could be wrong but it would be a first according to my wife.
TY & GL
DRW said:
Not to nit-pick but I think Ronnie was the one referred to in the movie as Fast Eddie. I could be wrong but it would be a first according to my wife.
TY & GL
Island Drive said:
Okay, here I go again.
He did CLAIM to be the gratest one handed player in the world, the thing he most wanted to be was MINN. Fats. He loved the man.
Wide World of Sports came to Denver and were going to do a spot on Marty and this had to be around 70, just not sure.
Marty showed up in pleated slacks, wing tip shoes, and a white t-shirt with mustard stains. A crewman came over to Marty and suggested very tactfully that he might want to change shirts for TV.
Marty threw a fit, but went down the street to a K-Mart and came back doning a brand new white t-shirt that coverd about half his belly. I mean he didn't need a t shirt, he needed a tent.
They were going to have Marty shoot a spot shot, Jacked up for the show. It took Marty 24 tries to finally make the ball. When the ball finally fell, he fell to his knees and raised his stick and claimed to be the greatest one handed player in the world.
I'm glad that happened. It is about the only thing the old guy had to take with him when he died.
These stories are absolutely priceless!
rackmsuckr said:
I read your joke on the other tread and just about dropped my store bought teeth, so, this one is for you. Hope I don't get kicked out of here.
Many of the older guys will remember this but as Fats would be giving his exhibition, he would start to tell this tale.
I got off a boxcar in Walla Walla washington, counted down and had 85 cents in my pocket. So, I go to the pool hall and they got a quarter/quarter 9-ball game goin. I get in and never, I mean I never miss a ball. We end up playing for three staight days and I'm tellin ya, I never miss a ball. Not one! Finally everybody gets out cause ain't nobody else shot in 3 hours.
I walk out to the street and gonna hitch hike and the 2nd car comes by, stop and rolls down the window and this little Doll says, Fatman is that you? I say sure it is how bout a ride. She says yea, come on in.
We head east out of Walla Walla and the first rest area we see, the little doll pulls in and shuts off the engine, reaches in her purse and pulls out a 25 automatic and poiints it right at the fatman. She say, "Fatman, I been waitin on someone like you all my life. Now, you get down here and take care of this, or I'me gonna fill you full of bullit holes."
Fats at this point stops the story and is shooting balls and everyone is waiting for the punchline. Finally a young lady in the audience yells out, Well Fats what happened with the girl and the gun"?
Fats turns toward the crowd with a little grin and just screams out, "well young lady, you don't see no bullit holes in the Fatman do ya"!
The whole crowd nearly fell out of their chairs.
He was one of a kind. It is the only time I saw him laugh at his on story.
In my first post where i copied the Johnson City Bust story from Jimmy Reid's site there was a mention of 'Dirty Low Down Red' by Fatty. Anyone have any info on him?
Could it just have been Fatty's way of referring to 'Jersey Red' Aka Jack Breit, aka Jack Breitkopf? It could have been Cornbred too I guess.
Could it just have been Fatty's way of referring to 'Jersey Red' Aka Jack Breit, aka Jack Breitkopf? It could have been Cornbred too I guess.
ironman said:
Thanks Ironman, that was great!
Another Minnesota Fats story...
Years later, Zuglan was playing in a pro event in Atlantic City.., Fats shows up (not to play in the event).., Zuglan tells Fats about the time they met at Montgomery Ward back when Mike was a little kid and Fats says that he remembers Mike winning that game of eight ball.
Now, Fats has a crowd around him and immediately goes into his routine and says that he just flew in and has this arrangrment with an Airline that will fly him anywhere in the world, anytime for free!.., A non-believer in the crowd spoke and sure enough, Fats reaches into his pocket and produces some type of official looking Airline ticket that stated; DESTINATION: Anywhere - TIME: Anytime - COST: Free!
Mike Zuglan told me that his Dad took him to a Montgomery Ward in Albany, NY almost 40 years ago to see Minnesota Fats perform.., His dad put ten year old Mike up against Fats in a game of eight ball.., Zuglan won and Fats gave him the name “Albany Skinny”.cuejoey said:
Years later, Zuglan was playing in a pro event in Atlantic City.., Fats shows up (not to play in the event).., Zuglan tells Fats about the time they met at Montgomery Ward back when Mike was a little kid and Fats says that he remembers Mike winning that game of eight ball.
Now, Fats has a crowd around him and immediately goes into his routine and says that he just flew in and has this arrangrment with an Airline that will fly him anywhere in the world, anytime for free!.., A non-believer in the crowd spoke and sure enough, Fats reaches into his pocket and produces some type of official looking Airline ticket that stated; DESTINATION: Anywhere - TIME: Anytime - COST: Free!
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Dirty Low Down Red
Dirty Low Down Red, who late in life got a promotion to Dirty Low Down Stinking Red, was in real life an old black man named Charles Jones. He died recently in Las Vegas. He was one of the top 3 sharkers ever. (Ronnie Allen and Alphonzo Daniels were the top two) He played a little better than shortstop speed. He was an old time scuff.
the Beard
Bank on brother! Old school pool.
Nostroke said:
Dirty Low Down Red, who late in life got a promotion to Dirty Low Down Stinking Red, was in real life an old black man named Charles Jones. He died recently in Las Vegas. He was one of the top 3 sharkers ever. (Ronnie Allen and Alphonzo Daniels were the top two) He played a little better than shortstop speed. He was an old time scuff.
the Beard
Bank on brother! Old school pool.
OldHasBeen
Tom Ferry
I just got back from speaking with Vernon and..........
I was just at the poolroom and Vernon was there. He is the fellow that was on the road with Fatty and has his Rambo.
He told me about Fatty beating Richie Florence out of $40K getting 9 to 7. It took him almost 20 min to tell as he is almost as good a story teller as Fats was. He must have told me 10 other stories about Fatty, Long Beach & a fellow called The Ufalla Kid. Said Ronnie couldn't give this guy a ball at his peek. Also had many stories about Squirrel and Fats.
There were quite a few players back then who would come here to trap a local fellow named "Sut". I knew him well and will never forget a story about him. I was about 17 years old and watching all the smarts playing poker at Suts office. I'm sitting in an old broken arm chair with about 75¢ in my pocket and Sut comes over to me and ask me to get up. He raises the cushion and there must have been $250,000 in cash right there. I couldn't sleep for a week.
TY & GL
I was just at the poolroom and Vernon was there. He is the fellow that was on the road with Fatty and has his Rambo.
He told me about Fatty beating Richie Florence out of $40K getting 9 to 7. It took him almost 20 min to tell as he is almost as good a story teller as Fats was. He must have told me 10 other stories about Fatty, Long Beach & a fellow called The Ufalla Kid. Said Ronnie couldn't give this guy a ball at his peek. Also had many stories about Squirrel and Fats.
There were quite a few players back then who would come here to trap a local fellow named "Sut". I knew him well and will never forget a story about him. I was about 17 years old and watching all the smarts playing poker at Suts office. I'm sitting in an old broken arm chair with about 75¢ in my pocket and Sut comes over to me and ask me to get up. He raises the cushion and there must have been $250,000 in cash right there. I couldn't sleep for a week.
TY & GL
Old Norman Hictchcock told me a couple of times that Ufalla Kid was the best he had ever seen. I asked Ronnie about him last year and all he did was nod. You know as well as any, if you shut Ronnie up, you have done something.OldHasBeen said:
Did you ever play old Norman?
OldHasBeen said:
Eufaula Kid... he was from Eufaula, OK. Saw him play when I was a kid (in my 20's). There used to be a lot of action in little ole Oklahoma in those days. Ask Grady... he knew the Eufaula Kid and frequented this part of the country.
Later,
Bob
Edited because I mispelled Eufaula... geez, and I live close to it!
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Fats was working the road down south and a bunch of mosquitos were flying around in the car. Fats says "These skeeters are like pool hustlers - they buzz through town and when they leave ya need a malaria shot and a new bankroll". If I could put together a match between any two players it would be Fats and Ronnie Allen. I don't think pool could get any more entertaining than that.