Funniest thing you have heard a league player say

I was playing a 2 and the score was 5-0 (I was going to 7.) I left a bank on the 8, and doubled it into the opposite pocket. The guy then gets up and breaks in the 8, beating me 2-5.

When I shook his hand he said "I've never made an 8 on the break before." I'm sure he hadn't.
 
So I have to ask the obvious question.....

Why are all of these stories revolving around the APA? :D
 
1pRoscoe said:
So I have to ask the obvious question.....

Why are all of these stories revolving around the APA? :D
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Here's a non-APA story.

Our poolhall was kids downstairs, adults & alcohol upstairs.

A young woman who played downstairs came upstairs to play in league just after her 21st birthday, and she was kinda nervous about it. She was playing a game on her first night against the local short stop.

Said short stop was down to one ball and the eight. He had a stop-shot bank that left him perfectly on the 8-ball, or he could cut the ball in, giving the cueball a ride through some traffic. Short Stop bent down to shoot.

Nervous newbie got up and said,

"wait a minute! where are you calling that?"

Short Stop got up slowly, looking annoyed, and he said,

"Little girl, if you don't know where I'm playing this ball, maybe you shouldn't be up here with the big boys."

Then he bent down and drilled the bank.
 
1pRoscoe said:
So I have to ask the obvious question.....

Why are all of these stories revolving around the APA? :D
Click to expand...
Might as well ask why do all the viruses get written for Microsoft Operating Systems, because it is the most prevelant. All the stories are about the APA because it is the biggest league. JMO.
 
mikepage said:
Here's a non-APA story.

Our poolhall was kids downstairs, adults & alcohol upstairs.

A young woman who played downstairs came upstairs to play in league just after her 21st birthday, and she was kinda nervous about it. She was playing a game on her first night against the local short stop.

Said short stop was down to one ball and the eight. He had a stop-shot bank that left him perfectly on the 8-ball, or he could cut the ball in, giving the cueball a ride through some traffic. Short Stop bent down to shoot.

Nervous newbie got up and said,

"wait a minute! where are you calling that?"

Short Stop got up slowly, looking annoyed, and he said,

"Little girl, if you don't know where I'm playing this ball, maybe you shouldn't be up here with the big boys."

Then he bent down and drilled the bank.
Click to expand...


What an ass, it was a fair question and he should have given her an attitude. I play with "the big boys" and usually ask my opponents to call every kick, bank or combination when the rules are call shot/pocket.
 
In a playoff match that seemed to have a ton of tension riding on it, with both teams watching in a quiet room, the shooter is hooked and asks out loud "Am I allowed to jump?"

He then proceeded to jump five inches into the air. It really was funny at the time.

:)
 
also not league play but with relevance to thread

small 8 ball tourney, favored player in final of single elimination has to rack for other finalist who sinks 8 on the snap. lol. he was hurt over losing! he was definitely the favorite to win! stands there burned up, finally says don't i get to kick or anything!
 
This was actually from the APA city qualifier this past weekend :)

I was playing some guy in his 60s an APA 6. I go up to inspect the rack and there are about 5-6 half inch gaps and he throws the rack back on the table and grumbles back in my day we didn't have none of this sissy rerack shit.
 
woodyosborne said:
small 8 ball tourney, favored player in final of single elimination has to rack for other finalist who sinks 8 on the snap. lol. he was hurt over losing! he was definitely the favorite to win! stands there burned up, finally says don't i get to kick or anything!
Click to expand...

I gave some lessons on how to draw the cue ball to young Mike, one of our 3's in CPA. He kinda got the hang of it but was a bit shaky on the concept.

A few days later I wonder into Le Spot and he's playing a match with one of our older players. "Hi, Dave..." he says, waving excitedly. "I've been practising my drawing..."

The older player doesn't even look up from his shot and drawls... "If it's really nice, maybe Mommy will let you hang it on the fridge..."
 
I had a league player from a small town called Houma, LA argue with me that Gary Abu could beat Cliff Joyner even one pocket any day of the week. This is also the same guy who told me that he beat Jeremy Jones in a tournament and deserved to be on the curcuit because of it.
 
Southpaw said:
I heard an APA player say one night that some nights he could play as well as "Johnny Mosconi"...I just shook my head and said "really?"

Southpaw
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Maybe he knows a Johnny Mosconi that shoots terrible and he was just being honest?
 
Bet he can bake too!!! LOL

This isnt about a league player, but its the funniest thing a guy has said to me ever.
A couple years ago I was practicing on a bar box getting ready for BCA nationals. A group of 4 buddys come into the bar and sat in my area drinking some beer and having a good time. One by one, they put their quarters up on my table. I really wanted to just practice, but I didnt want to be rude, so I decided to play a little with them. The first 3 were ok players, but the 4th guy was pretty good. They kept on putting their quarters up as I kept winning. Eventually the 3 ok players quit and just sat and watched. (btw, very nice guys) but the fourth just would not give up. He got close a couple times, but could never close out the game. I could tell he was getting frustrated. We played for another 30 minutes or so and he still couldnt win a game. (And his buddys were barking big time at him, LOL) As I pocketed the eight ball on our last game and went to shake his hand, he started getting red in the face. I really thought he was getting mad. As he shook my hand he said, "Ya know what?, I know I can cook better than you"!!!!!!!! (he is a chef by trade) It was the funniest comment I have ever heard. I laughed so hard. And he was a very nice guy. He always says hello to me when he comes in now.
 
I played APA 2 years ago. During this time there were many gems but the one that sticks out the most was this:

I'm playing a new team that just started Thursday nights. One of their female members is all decked out in slut-gear to include a large tramp stamp and lots of jewelry. At this point I'm breaking with house cues so I grab my favorite one off the wall and lean it on the booth I'm sitting at. Before we start I take a bathroom break, and on my way back I can see the girl holding the house cue I picked out and doing something to it. As I get closer I can see something metal on the cue about halfway down the shaft area, and the girl is exerting some effort to push the metal piece down onto the cue. I rolled up and asked what she was doing, and her response was "Well my ring was bent, so I'm straightening it out". On the cue I picked out... it only caused a giant circular dent right where I bridge. I had never seen a cue used to fix jewelry before.
 
This isn't really what someone said, but more of what they did.

This was last weekend at a small bar. It was nearing closing time and a group of 4 guys walk in and the place is dead. I know the owner who was bar tending and the one other guy in the place is my best friend. I had won the table much earlier in the night so when one of the guys goes up to rack my friend shouts out: "hey, it's his table if you want to play, you'll have to play this shark over here". By the way, I've told him a million times, but he still knocks my action. Also, let it be known that I am no shark or hustler...I'm not good enough. Anyway, I beat this guy twice and his friends are really getting on him. I knew this was a good time to ask for a small bet so I asked if he wanted to play for 5. His friends started laughing and saying I called him out, etc. He said that he didn't have 5 but if one of "these guys" (his friends) want to put the money up, they could. One of them said he'd cover it and winked at him. I ended up winning. The guy that was going to pay me only had a 10. Guess who had two 5's! The guy that didn't have 5.00 earlier. :) They left right after paying me. All three of us had a good laugh after they walked out the door.
 
Coin Flip Or Lag

I was playing in a local tourney and asked my opponent if he wanted to lag or flip for the break.

He says " I want to flip, cause I have 50% chance of winning"

If I would have been drinking anything, it would have come out of my nose from laughing so hard.
 
A while back my wife recruited a new player for her APA team. She came in as a level two.
In trying to teach her all the things that one needs to know about pool suave the team members informed her that she needs to check to see if balls are frozen to the rail which could result in a foul.

Well in one particular match her opponent was on the eight and it was sitting in the middle of the table and the cue ball was very close to the rail.

One of the team members told her to check if the cue ball was frozen. She jumped out of her chair and ran to check the cue ball and declared it frozen. Her opponent looked at all of us with a puzzled look on his face. Everyone started laughing and couldn't stop.

After finding out why we were all were laughing she said " that's messed up ".

Now she is a level four and just laughs about it.
 
Well... the guy who did this is a league player, so maybe that counts for something. We'll call him Stan and his opponent... we'll call him Bob.

Stan is playing a game of one pocket and he soon needs to spot a ball up. Stan spots the ball up and Bob asks if it's frozen. Stan proceeds to try to get it frozen, but can't quite get it there. Stan then takes cueball and taps the ball into place... not realizing he just committed a foul by pickup the cueball!!!

Those of us watching just cracked up!
 
I played APA for the first time ever last Monday. They started me as a 6 because the room owner told the league operator I should really be a 7, but the operator said they usually start new people as 4's and a 6 seemed fair. Anyway, I had to play the 6-rated player from the other team and he asked me if I had a coin to flip for the break. I said no, so he said we could lag. As he walked to the tray to get balls for the lagging he turns to me and says, "You do know how to lag, right?"

Was funny then, because he was serious and that is probably a valid question for many APA players. I just thought it was amusing considering I have been playing pool since 1986.

This was my first ever APA experience, and it was quite entertaining watching some of the "coaching" that went on.

As I was sitting there watching one of my new teammates play, one of the regs came and sat down next to me and had the following conversation. I must add this guy is in his early 70's and really does not give a sh$$!

Reg: What the hell are you doin'?
Me: I joined APA.
Reg: What?! Why?
Me: Something to do on Monday night. Besides, the room owner convinced me and I think it might be fun.
Reg: If you say so! (with a thoroughly disgusted look on his face)

Then he looked around and said in a not-so-soft voice:
Is there anybody in this #$@! thing that can beat you??!?

I still laugh when I replay that moment. It was almost a total disregard by him for whoever was within earshot. But if you knew him, that is par for the course.

Truth be told, my 1st. experience was the most fun I have had in a poolroom in a long time.

Whouda thunk it?
 
Fellow filled out the application for the APA one blank said "Sex ---" he wrote, "anytime." He is still known as Anytime to this day. When the league sheet comes around it shows John Anytime Jones. Pretty cool moniker.
 
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