HELP My Gus 6 Pointer was Stolen while I was helping the Homeless!!!!!!

I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
Till they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see


I took a Blind guy out ice fishing with me today. I didn't have any extra rods to use so I wrapped a spool of line around my Old Balabushka.

Well, to start off the day, this guys Seeing Eye dog ran away. The blind guy dropped the Balabushka down a hole and lost it. Normally wood would float but I had a one pound weight on the line. Plus the Balabushka was a 35 oz so it had lots of weight bolts in it.

So thats gone and I don't have anything to play with this Sunday for a Scotch Tourney.

Then it got dark out, the sun goes down around here around 4 pm.

I lost the blind guy and my 4 x 4 went thru the ice while I was looking for him.

Now, not only do I not have a cue to play with, I have no way to get the the tourney.

I racked up a $300 taxi fare to get back to the city.

Then I realized that my wallet was in the truck and I had no cards or cash to pay for the trip.

I have a Dale Perry cue. Please don't make me play with that on Sunday.

Kevin is definitely scamming you guys. I can smell a scam a mile away.

Forget him and send me stuff instead. Trust in me. I have twice as many Posts as he does. Thats gotta count for something.
 
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thefonz said:
Kevin, I can't believe how sarcasticaly some of our members have responded to your plea for help. I have done my research on you and imo, anyone who has resorted to hawking their family's silverware on ebay must certainly have fallen on hard times.

I have no extra cues to give, nor money to help you buy replacements for the ones you had stolen as I myself am homeless and not able to work anymore after losing both my legs in a shark attack.

However what I can offer is a beautiful 3X6 Chase Dillon gambler case which is in the process of being completed. When I get the case, it is yours, providing of course that you pay the shipping which will come to about 500USD you can PayPal me tomorrow.......out of my generosity I will eat the fees.

May the Lord bless you with better fortune for the future.
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This is just too, too funny!!

KP
 
Blue Hog ridr said:
I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
Till they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
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You don't get people quoting Alice Cooper here very often.

Good chuckle for the afternoon. (Great song, too, think I'm gonna hunt that one up for a listen.)
 
You sound like a pro player who lost his sponsored cue at the airport or pool hall. :grin:
 
kevin
i borrowed the cue while you were visiting the needy
i took it home and played with it

please come to the house next time you are in texas i am afraid to mail it
your friend

dean
 
deanoc said:
kevin
i borrowed the cue while you were visiting the needy
i took it home and played with it

please come to the house next time you are in texas i am afraid to mail it
your friend

dean
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Dean

Thanks for letting me know. I had lost faith in my fellow man but you have reinstalled it. Now i can venture back out in search of those that need my assistance.

Just hang on to the Gus. I will be there soon enough.

This in no way should stop people from sending me stuff because I still deserve it.

Thanks

Kevin
 
All Time

This is my favorite all-time thread. I've been laughing through all four pages. You guys are too funny.

Chris
 
This is BS all these other guys trying to get on the gravy train!

I am the original selfless do-gooder!

I am the one that deserves the endless shower of free gifts as restitution of all the good deeds I did with no thought of payment or personal gain.

These other pretenders are just that, pretenders.

Send cues and cases to me.

I'll be out helping old ladies cross streets and stuff.
 
Straightpool_99 said:
I think, once you hear the full story you will feel silly to have doubted me. My friend is a veteran of the cola wars, one of the most forgotten parts of recent history. He was working in a crystal pepsi bottling plant, when one day the machine which applied the labels broke. My friend was filling the crates with bottles when one of his coworkers noticed that my friends crate was missing a bottle and tried to toss one to him. Because the bottle had no label my friend could not see it, and it hit him right in the face, causing my friend to lose his eyesight.

He had to quit his job, but because he had difficulties shaving he grew an impressive mustache, which got him noticed by a talent scout as a promising Tom Selleck impersonator. At this point I must digress to tell that my friend lived only on canned soup at the time, and he had recently gotten a seeing eye dog. He was so excited that he pawned all of his posessions in order to buy 20 000 headshots of himself to kickstart his new career. Unfortunately he fell asleep after a big meal which soaked his mustache and the dog litterally ate his mustache and his new career. My friend developed a phobia for all furry animals and the only viable option was to issue him a seeing eye elephant. Beeing short of funds forced him to feed his elephant with a rather headshot-heavy diet, causing it to become constipated.

Naturally the most suitable tool to solve constipation problem is to use a pool cue to work things out, and only an original Balabushka has the right qualities for the job. I was just about to solve the problem when my friends niece who had been at fundraising carnival for my friends benifit came round the corner in a mouse costume, which caused the elephant to back up rather sharply, thus causing my problem.
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Next time you see your friend, be sure and thank him for his service, and let him know that it's from Ted in Denver.

The majority of the constipated elephants I've worked with prefer Meucci's, but now that it's after January 1, I will check and see if there is a regulation covering the cue under the ACA-Obamacare.
 
pt109 said:
Sooooo....any luck on your Scamboti?
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That so funny.

My favorite post in all these related threads was KickenChicken trying to explain that for a mitzvah to indeed be a mitzvah the giver can't be all taking credit for what a selfless good deed doer he was. He just needs to do good deeds and not take credit for it. Which, of course, leaves all us AZ do gooders out of the Mitzvah running.

Thanks

Kevin
 
kvinbrwr said:
Or it might have happened while I was feeding the hungry. I can't be sure, I made two stops (after handing out toys at the local orphanage).

Because I'm so full of charity and kindness and good deeds and have given away all my money, I don't have the funds to replace the Gus. I'm pretty picky so I would prefer that you all just send me cash and I'll find my own, but I'll consider gifts of cues but it must be a Gus (no Barrys at this time please) and 6 or 8 pointers, original condition and some type of work in the butt.

The cue was in a Rusty Melton hand tooled 2 by 4 case. Please no plain cases or Fellinis.

Oh, I almost forgot! The dastardly thieves also took my Eastwood Custom break cue case with my Gina Rasputin break cue (I need two shafts please).

I'm devastated. Please make me happy again so I can go back to doing good deeds.

Thanks

Kevin
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I would help you, but it seems you were doing nothing to fix global warming!
 
kvinbrwr said:
My Ferrari is a hybrid
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Very saintly of you! Though I'm living under a bridge at the moment, and haven't eaten for 3 days, I'll rummage through a few bins to find something to contribute. If only they'd legalize organ trading, I'd gladly give a kidney to raise the required funds.
 
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