Last night it was pointed out to me that I make kind of an ass of myself when I miss easy shots in costly situations.
If I miss a shot I feel I'm always supposed to make, most especially if I know that it makes a very significant difference in my chances of winning the match (i.e. missed and left it easy and it's hill-hill), I get furious with myself. And when I get really mad at myself, I act very childishly; cursing out loud, making lame whiny excuses that even I don't believe, pounding my fist on the arm of the chair, even sometimes abusing my cue. It's stupid, it makes me look like an ass, and it diminishes the enjoyment of those around me. I know this, and yet I do it again the next time.
I know I'm not alone in the pool world. Any success stories from people who used to have this bad habit, but overcame it? Any techniques people use to either avoid self-anger or calm it when it arises?
-Andrew
Hi Andrew,
Couple things. One, I find that when I get angry during a match, I generally play worse. I know that's not the point your post, but a couple years ago I made a concerted effort at trying to have a more peaceful demeanor around the pool table and I really think it helped my game. The other thing it does is provide some added internal confidence. When I'm playing someone and they miss and have a fit, I believe that they're concerned about the outcome of the match, which fuels my confidence. Alternatively, when I miss and don't get very mad about it, I think the thought crosses my opponent's mind that "dag, this guy isn't even concerned about the outcome of this match." Whether this is true or not, it's my perception and I'm sticking to it.
As far as looking like an ass, you're not alone. Some of the best players act like children, especially when things aren't going well for them. I just played an up-and-coming player from Philadelphia in Vegas last month. I knew him and I knew he played jam up, but he didn't know me. I played well, got some good rolls, and won the match. This kid was such a jerk that his teammates all apologized to me after the match for the way he acted. Now I've seen him make some great shots, handle some tough layouts, and play really well. But the one thing I'm going to remember about him is that he's a jerk. Don't be a jerk :grin:
I don't know about you, but I'm at work right now and I assume you are as well. When we play in leagues, tournaments, or even gambling, regardless of the outcome we have more important things in our lives to focus on. Try to keep the game in perspective -- it's just a game. We spend good money on cues, don't break them. But most importantly, be an ambassador to our game. There is a post in the forum right now about pool's negative image. Help to contribute to it's positive image by always showing your opponent and the sweaters respect. I have to believe that you slamming your cue, kicking stuff, cursing, etc when you miss a key shot somehow takes some of the sweet taste of victory away from your opponent. You know, the "you only won cause I dogged it" feeling. Sadly, some of my best victories against great players have been tarnished by them saying such things (and worse).
Don't take this as me preaching. As I type this I'm doing so to try to help you and myself because this is something that most players need reminding about on a regular basis. From my experience, I remember those situations where I have embarrassed myself at a tournament by acting like a jerk far longer than any shot I missed. It's a constant battle internally, but I'm confident that we can overcome it.
Take care,
Joey
