To anyone it may concern, i'm alive & kicking. I have been away for a bit & unfortunately/fortunately have chosen to remove myself from social media & technology for a time. The decision to do so was bittersweet but had to be done. I understand I likely pissed off some folks & I accept full & all criticism for it. As I have always said and lived, cues are not my number one priority in life. Cuemaking can be trumped & must heed several other priorities in my life. Regardless, cuemaking bestows certain responsibilities upon me where others depend on me & my time, my word. All I can do is offer my most sincere apology & a brief explanation to anybody who was affected by my hiatus.
A few months ago I was bitten by a spider directly behind my right ear. Seemed like nothing more than a common bug bite at first but over the course of a few days came the fever & severe headaches. I went to the doc & was prescribed a mild antibiotic to fight off what the doc felt was a mild infection. Two days later I was in the emergency room with my eyes swollen shut & an unbearable headache. The infection was more severe than diagnosed & had spread into my skull bone via ear canal. From there it spread through my cheek into my orbital bone. The medicine for this was as bad as the symptoms. It literally drained the life from me. This was quite literally the closest to death I have ever felt, and it made me see things a little differently. I have permanent hearing loss in my right ear, and am still awaiting testing to see about my vision. I am healthy again & strong. But going through this while my wife was away in Korea and no family here to take care of my kids, took a bit of a toll on me & gave me a different perspective on life. And during it all, I was pretty much in bed all the time and not communicating with much of anybody.
Shortly after, my wife came home from Korea. She has been gone for a year on a tour of duty. It was exciting to have her home and reunited with the kids, basically have our family together again. We took some time to travel a bit & spend time together. It was great. But once back to the daily grind of life, some issues were revealed that were somewhat expected but couldn't be planned for. We simply had grown apart and didn't really know one another anymore. It's tough to describe but very real, and very scary. I had become used to being alone with the kids & doing everything by myself. She had been a year without kids and used to living alone with only herself to care for. It was a shock to both of us and it caused a lot of tension. I felt like she was in my way and she was overwhelmed with the sudden responsibilities of being a mom & wife that she hadn't known for a year. We were very close to calling it quits. Neither of us were adjusting well. So we decided to drop the world around us & focus on getting our family strong again. For me that meant staying out of the shop, away from email, forums, phones, etc. I closed myself off to everything & everyone except for my family, until I was secure in knowing all was as it should be.
I knew that the hiatus would causes tensions with some of my buyers & folks I am doing work for. I apologize for that in the most sincere manner. I never meant to hurt anybody. But trust me when I say, if things went sour with my marriage & my family crumbled, there would be no more cuemaking. I can't exactly build cues in a one bedroom apartment, which is where i'd have ended up. And quite frankly, I wouldn't even want to. I love cues & love fellow cue nuts & friends I have met in this journey. It's something that's part of me & part of my life. But my family is the major part of who I am & if that's lost, then all goes with it. I don't expect anybody to understand but I hope everybody does. And I hope everybody who was affected can accept my apology and see why I have been out of touch. Life is normal again, as much as can be, and my wife & I are thankfully in a very good place maritally speaking. Kids are happy, momma's happy, i'm happy. And I can now get back to my cues.
Sorry for the long post & personal issues. I'm not one to openly share my personal life but felt in this situation I owe some folks an explanation, and more importantly a huge apology. I haven't neglected my responsibilities or screwed anybody. I just took some time get my "house" in order so that I can keep my happy little life, which involves building cues. My children & wife are paramount, and i'll do anything under the sun to keep them safe, secure, and happy. Their happiness directly controls my own happiness. It's been a tough several months for me, the toughest in my life. I hope this post explains things to those who may have been affected. But I completely understand if anybody hates me. I'm back on track now & at it, just took some off. Good will to all & God bless
Eric
A few months ago I was bitten by a spider directly behind my right ear. Seemed like nothing more than a common bug bite at first but over the course of a few days came the fever & severe headaches. I went to the doc & was prescribed a mild antibiotic to fight off what the doc felt was a mild infection. Two days later I was in the emergency room with my eyes swollen shut & an unbearable headache. The infection was more severe than diagnosed & had spread into my skull bone via ear canal. From there it spread through my cheek into my orbital bone. The medicine for this was as bad as the symptoms. It literally drained the life from me. This was quite literally the closest to death I have ever felt, and it made me see things a little differently. I have permanent hearing loss in my right ear, and am still awaiting testing to see about my vision. I am healthy again & strong. But going through this while my wife was away in Korea and no family here to take care of my kids, took a bit of a toll on me & gave me a different perspective on life. And during it all, I was pretty much in bed all the time and not communicating with much of anybody.
Shortly after, my wife came home from Korea. She has been gone for a year on a tour of duty. It was exciting to have her home and reunited with the kids, basically have our family together again. We took some time to travel a bit & spend time together. It was great. But once back to the daily grind of life, some issues were revealed that were somewhat expected but couldn't be planned for. We simply had grown apart and didn't really know one another anymore. It's tough to describe but very real, and very scary. I had become used to being alone with the kids & doing everything by myself. She had been a year without kids and used to living alone with only herself to care for. It was a shock to both of us and it caused a lot of tension. I felt like she was in my way and she was overwhelmed with the sudden responsibilities of being a mom & wife that she hadn't known for a year. We were very close to calling it quits. Neither of us were adjusting well. So we decided to drop the world around us & focus on getting our family strong again. For me that meant staying out of the shop, away from email, forums, phones, etc. I closed myself off to everything & everyone except for my family, until I was secure in knowing all was as it should be.
I knew that the hiatus would causes tensions with some of my buyers & folks I am doing work for. I apologize for that in the most sincere manner. I never meant to hurt anybody. But trust me when I say, if things went sour with my marriage & my family crumbled, there would be no more cuemaking. I can't exactly build cues in a one bedroom apartment, which is where i'd have ended up. And quite frankly, I wouldn't even want to. I love cues & love fellow cue nuts & friends I have met in this journey. It's something that's part of me & part of my life. But my family is the major part of who I am & if that's lost, then all goes with it. I don't expect anybody to understand but I hope everybody does. And I hope everybody who was affected can accept my apology and see why I have been out of touch. Life is normal again, as much as can be, and my wife & I are thankfully in a very good place maritally speaking. Kids are happy, momma's happy, i'm happy. And I can now get back to my cues.
Sorry for the long post & personal issues. I'm not one to openly share my personal life but felt in this situation I owe some folks an explanation, and more importantly a huge apology. I haven't neglected my responsibilities or screwed anybody. I just took some time get my "house" in order so that I can keep my happy little life, which involves building cues. My children & wife are paramount, and i'll do anything under the sun to keep them safe, secure, and happy. Their happiness directly controls my own happiness. It's been a tough several months for me, the toughest in my life. I hope this post explains things to those who may have been affected. But I completely understand if anybody hates me. I'm back on track now & at it, just took some off. Good will to all & God bless
Eric
