Just a collection of various AZer quotes, I thought that they were pretty good...
-"You couldn't run that table if you put sneakers on and got on top of it!"
-And after a missed ball-in-hand you say to any audience: "He had a bad angle."
-"I've never seen an ATM on 2 legs"
-"Sorry I am standing so far away...I don't want any of your game rubbing off on me"
-"Are you EVER going to make a ball...the pockets are even laughing at you"
-"I seriously don't think I can give you enough weight to make it fair"
-"(Hold up a cell phone)Bert kinister's on the phone. He says don't even bother contacting him...none of his 150 tapes will help you"
-He couldn't run out if you opened every door in the building!
-He can't play today, he's so broke he can't bet bird seed for a coockoo clock!
-He's so bad he can't even spell pool.
-You should just hang on to the rack, they say reaching is bad for your back.
-We've been here an hour. I thought you said you wanted to shoot some pool.
-When do you plan on starting?
-say to a guy playing... "Does your husband play pool?"
-After being hooked pretty bad and kicking the ball "I was born KICK-ing!"
-"he/ she is luckier than a koksukka with a handful of dix".
-And if you have a team member playing badly, "We call him Lantern. He ain't too bright and we always have to carry him."
-I play like a beginner's girlfriend.
-..."If I fell in a barrell full of titties, I'd come out sucking my thumb."
-"If I had a stroke like that, I'd stay home".
-"That guy couldn't run a pair of panty hose".
-What color is the sky in that dream?
-Hey I did'nt know you were a proctologist.
-After a miss by your opponent you can tell him, "I used to play like that when I first started, too."
-"You must hate your money."
-When a player wants a game and asks me for weight -
My response is, "Sure, how long do you want?"
They say, "How long? What do you mean how long?"
My response, "I will WAIT until you step up and play even!"
-"someone call 911, I feel a stroke coming on..."
-"These tight pockets are like my speedos, you can't fit 2 balls in at a time!!
-While at the Reno open in the practice room, a bigtime gambler (more noted for his woofin' to get his prey to bite) he was barkin at everyone in the room. After much rantin and ravin he looked at a small group of bystanders and made direct eye contact with one of them. The guy being confronted was wearin a dirty baseball cap, wore glasses and looked like he hadn't slept in days.
The woofer says, "Hey you, I'll bet you won't put up 10 bucks and play any game!"
The guy responds, "Don't look at me, I had to give blood just to get a bus ticket up here."
-Guy they called Sunnyvale Gary was playing some champion from Mexico 9Ball and the guy was running out like rainwater, every time Gary tried to safe him, the fellow would make a spectacular kick. The guy from Mexico breaks, the cue ball jumps the table and lands right by Gary's foot. Gary nudges the ball a couple of inches with his foot and says "push out - your shot".
-Danny Medina was playing a local shortstop 9Ball and when Danny broke, the cue ball was going straight up in the air. The shortstop yells out "if the cue ball hits the lights it's dead". Danny looks over, smiles, and says "partner, if I can make the cue ball hit the lights, the only thing dead is your money".
-Few years ago, a backer comes in with his young protege'; a 9Ball match is made, and the road kid gets stuck the first 8 games. The kid starts roughing up the tip on his break cue; the backer looks over, shakes his head and says: "Son, ats lak puttin' new tars on a car what don't got no engine". Priceless.
-Stay focused on the object ball, not the screwball.
She didn't think it was nearly as funny as I did.
dudes cars run 9s lmao 