first off, congrats on putting yourself out there like that to be critiqued, that is never easy.
next, I would have to agree with everyone else on what they said about ball speed and shot making. My observation however was that I don't quite believe that staying down that long on shots is something that you normally do, psychology would dictate that this is less likely given your warm up strokes, plus i noticed that it changed slightly throughout the run. It's kind of that whole "i'm under the lights situation that we often do, some of us when having someone worthy watching out game", we focus more and the things that we know that we should be focusing more on but this level us when adrenaline kicks in or as the run continues like I feel happen with you at times, Straight pool player experience this more than most I feel.
But, it looks like you have been working on it and adapted to it well to where you have good enough control, I would like to see you run a rack of 9 or 10 to see how your brain and stroke manages that type of pattern play.
Once again very good, keep up the good work and I think you'll be up a ball or two before the year ends.
p.s.
the rapid warm up stroke could be the cause for loss of ball control at times