The funny bangers...

[9ballrun]

The one I loved was when I went to a so called pool hall, it was mainly for college kids, and saw a young lady trying to play by herself. She had put all the balls at the right end of the table and with a beer in her hand was trying to figure out how to get all 16 balls in the rack! It was too funny. After about five minutes of this I couldn't take it any more and offered some help, and explained that the white ball started at the other end of the table.

 

[Snapshot9]

Lol

2 guys started playing at the table next to our league table last night, both bad bangers, later, one was shooting 1 handed when he couldn't even make the balls with both hands shooting. Had a long bridge off the rail, pulled back, and missed the whole cue ball on the hit stroke.

Then, later, the other one, ROFL ....., racked 6 balls on the foot spot, racked 6 balls on the head spot, had 2 balls on the edge by the side pocket, and the other ball across at the other edge of the opposite side pocket, and some guy asked him who he was playing with, and he said he was shooting 2 games at once by hisself.... It was hilarious.

 

[Cheez Dawg]

One interesting thing I saw here at a local bar:

Guy comes in, loaded to the hilt. Goes to the bar, orders a beer, then argues over the price.
He walks over to one of the 4- 4X8 coin tables, and begins his search for the coin slot. After 5 minutes of screwing around with trying to get his money in, and getting the balls to drop, he looks for which end to rack.

After he finishes racking, he attempts the "rack spin", but it backfires. He hits his head on the lights, drops the rack on top of the balls. As the balls scatter, he tries to corral them up, knocking them around the table even more. After 3 or 4 balls have dropped in the pockets from his clumbsy attempt to gather the balls up, he has to start the ridiculous ritual all over again.
I wasn't about to wait for him to attempt the dreaded "bar cue selection ritual".
I couldn't take it any more. I was laughing so hard at this comical display, I had to excuse myself before I pi$$ed my pants.

I felt like I had witnessed an old Tim Conway skit.

Now that I think about it, I should have bought the guy another beer just for the entertainment value!!

 

[tigerallenyim]

I like the ones who roll the house cue on the table just because they saw others do it, but dont really know why they are doing it.

That's my favorite!

 

[tigerallenyim]

There's a guy on one of the local leaguee teams who racks everything up, removes the head ball, places it on the spot, slowly slides the rack up to it and tilts up the front end of the rack up like a hungry alligator and snaps it down over the head ball ( nowhere near the head spot after all this shit)
it cracks me up everytime

Yeah, we've called the 'Hungry Hungry Hippo'

 

[tigerallenyim]

I laugh when I see that too, whether they know why or not...because it doesn't make a bit if difference whether the house cue is straight or not. The only important thing is that it has a decent tip. Many times I have shown people how to shoot with a warped cue that still has a good tip.

Scott Lee
www.poolknowledge.com

Ok, there must be some cosmic thing going on here. I've just told that to my boss just two minutes ago! Wow!

 

[Graciocues]

ok, here goes....


I've had my Custom cues picked up and used as bar cues...let alone my sneaky...and the guilty party response is always "huh"?

On a league night our team was packing up to leave. Two of our cues are missing (not sneaky petes). After lots of stress and searching we found the cues on the wall with the bar cues. The dumba** waitress picked them up and put them away. I couldn't believe she grabbed them off our table without us noticing.

 

[Inzombiac]

1. A guy came up to me the other day while I was practicing (headphones and all) and points at my little bottle of baby powder that I had out. I nod and continue shooting. I look up from a shot and I had taken the powder bottle, squeezed it so as to BLAST his hands with it, and then he claps his hands together. I could only watch in awe as he thanks me and walked off smiling like he was going to knead some bread dough on his table.

2. I have a friend who "has been playing since he was 8" but wants me to show him some stuff. Knowing that I'm horribly qualified to teach anyone pool, I show him what I know and try to help him when he asks for it. We're playing at "homebase" (Fast Eddie's for me) and there is this super cute girl who had just showed up next to us and started playing. I could see the look in his eyes and I knew he was gonna try one of his crazy world-imploding breaks. I see that he is very jacked up and twisted and that his chances for scratching off the table (he does it a LOT when he breaks) were greatly increased. I said , "Dude, you're gonna scratch." Not loud cus I didn't want to embarass him and ruin his chances with the girl should he decide to talk to her. (What a friend lol) But he blows me off and says he can handle it, cranks his arm back and fires. Mid swing I was actually fearing for my OWN life, thinking he was gonna impale me with that veritable spear he was holding AKA Dufferin 20 oz. He launches the ball, just as expected, off the table and directly at the girl who had taken notice because her friend was shooting. I reached out and caught the cue ball to the horror of my bud and the surprise of the girl. She looked over at me and and I said laughing, "Hey whats your name?"

(What a friend lol) True story. Her name was Ashley.

3. Short one... I also love when two guys are playing and one is obviously aiming for a certain pocket, but he misses, hits 3 rails and caroms into an entirely different pocket and cheers exuberantly.

 

[iba7467]

The answer to a banger

Bet a "banger" they can't place the rack on their arms (at the wrist with palms facing up) and spin it quickly to land in the similar location with their palms now facing down.

You can illustrate this, but I caution do it slowly and with your arms as far from your body as possible.

When they try it, they will inevitably hit themselves in the nose... how hard depends upon how confident they are they can do it. Word of caution... do not do this with a Diamond rack or to a big guy. We had a guy bleed for an hour. Not very nice, but it's still hilarious. Most people will even bet they can do it.

 

[cuesblues]

Scoops & splits

On a league night our team was packing up to leave. Two of our cues are missing (not sneaky petes). After lots of stress and searching we found the cues on the wall with the bar cues. The dumba** waitress picked them up and put them away. I couldn't believe she grabbed them off our table without us noticing.

I've seen that happen several times.

The funny banger thing that I always refer to, is when guys playing for the table in bars call a "split" when two balls are close together, in a game when every kiss, combination, rail, etc., has to be called. They say "I'm gonna split em". One night I was playing in a bar, I hit the wrong ball first but made the shot. I stepped back to let the other guy shoot, and he said "it's still your turn, that was a split", so I kept shooting.

The one that drives me crazy (previously mentioned), is when the other player scoops the cue ball and calls it a jump shot.

 

[alstl]

I always think its funny when you see a guy playing with his girfriend who can't even hold the cue right. The girlfriend has this wobbly bridge and shakey stroke, and she desperately tries to hit the cue ball, but she can't. Usually, she miscues and then stabs at the cue ball again immediately afterwards - usually miscuing a second time - only to have another swing and a miss - strike 3 - strike 4 - strike 5

The boyfriend then takes over and he's no better than she is, yet he tries to show her how its done.

we've all seen that

Actually it was my wife and I. I don't have a girlfriend.

 

[LILJOHN30]

How about this one

I was playing some guy nine ball last night wearing his azz out at 5 game I woul about 30 games to his 10.He goes to get his cue in the car and comes back wanting to play 8 ball.I break run the table ,and with a hard cut pocket the eight with a leagel hit.After hitting the 8 the rock caromed off and pocketed the ace before the 8 fell.He asked if that was a loss cause his ball fell first. I was like no what type of rules are you using.I then broke the rack and ran 4 balls and missed shape he got out and when he shot the 8 in the corner the 8 hit one of my balls.He filpped out and said don't foul then grabbed the balls on the table.I walked up to him and said I don't know how you playing but that isn't a foul,but grabbing the balls after is. I wound up takinga little over 20 from him at 5 a game.

 

[Catahula]

My favorite was the guy with the Wally World special running it through what had to be 80 grit sand paper.
He should be ready to pick his teeth with his shaft in a couple of more weeks.

 

[fanthom]

I just wanted to see how many of you have observed the bangers standing the house cue up on the table by the rail and moving the cue ball off of the rail by the width of the butt. I see it at least once a week; I laugh everytime...

Name something funny that you see the bangers doing...

This one I can't forget cause it was hilarious as hell. Here goes:

Mr. Macho (wannabe) Cassanova walked-in with his hot and need-to-be-impressed girlfriend. Mr. Macho man talks alot of s@#t and takes the adjacent table. He then goes spotting for a house cue that looked clean, rolls the cue on the table in both directions. The cue wobbles. He gves it a shaft feel and keeps it.

The clincher:

Mt. Macho racks the balls, walks around the table bending and squinting to sight the rails then proceeds to feel the pockets. He now grabs the new chalk, reads the label and then for whatever reason takes a seat with cue and chalk in hands. All this time, Ms. Hotty attentively watching her man's every move. Mr. Macho now places the brand new chalk on the floor, holds it with the inner sides of his shoes. He flips the house cue upside down and gently places the cue tip to the chalk. He then grabs the cue butt with the spread palms of his hands and proceeds to vigorously rub them back and forth as though attempting to start a camp fire in the woods. Pool cue digs a hole in the chalk and the floor is now partly blue.

Mr. Macho now places the cue ball gently in the head string, takes a few practice short pokes, pauses, then takes a few more. Finally, he finds a way to muster all that bench-pressing strength and gives the white ball the biggest downward whack for dear life. White ball squirts to the side, hits 2 rails and bounces to our table then to the floor and yonder. Then, RRRRIIIIIIIIPPPPPPP and an "OHHH SHHHITTTTT!" became audible. Ms. Hotty says, "Ooooops!". A perfectly shaped 9" reversed L and a peeking black slate is now visible on the table.

 

[uwate]

Looks like nearly all the funny banger moves have been listed already. I always like it when they try to twirl their cue like Tom Cruise and it falls on the floor or they hit themselves with the butt as its spinning in their hands.

When I was in undergrad at Cal-Berkeley, I was in the student union sweating this cute girl that worked at counter. So I'm standing there and on the table in front of me are four EECs (electrical engineer majors). The true pocket protector guys on campus. So there they are trying to play pool and the one guy is telling the another guy, "The rotating sphere cuts across the axis point of the other sphere and the contact point should be a variable of the coefficient of the first sphere's mass times the friction it builds up rolling across the felt. now what we need to do is to get an idea of the variables and apply them to yada yada yada. The four of them sat there for 15 minutes trying to figure out how to play a ball frozen the rail and cut it down the rail with math. It was pretty funny to watch.

I remember this pretty clearly because that same day, our very own Bob Jewett walked into the ASUC (Student union) and someone pointed him out to me. I got Bob into a race to 7 for $20 and those EECs sat and watched. After it was over they sat and argued about coefficients and the impact of friction on rotating spheres some more. Its no surprise they were real lady killers with the that kind of game.

 

[desert1pocket]

This thread is just chock full of ways to scare up action. I think combining some of these banger moves would get you at least the 7 ball in most poolhalls.

The banger I deal with on a weekly always approaches when I'm playing 1-pocket. The guy usually sits watching for a while, and gets interested when he sees the money change hands. He invariably will walk up during the middle of a tough shot to ask what game you're playing. After telling him the basics, he will proceed to ask many questions about the rules, such as; "you mean you can shoot any ball?", "nobody has stripes or solids or anything?" or "how do you know which pocket is yours?" These questions will typically come as abrupt outbursts while you are down on a shot. All of this so far I can easily handle, but the frustration sets in as they repeat the questions you have already answered, several times each. Sometimes they will even offer tips on how to improve your shooting, like after you slow roll a ball to the jaws of your pocket, while burying the cueball for a beautiful trap, they will tell you that you should shoot a little harder, and not to be so timid next time. The best part comes right before they leave, when they tell you how easy and/or dumb the game you're playing is, and suggest that you learn to play 9-ball or "straight 8", especially if you're going to be playing for money.

 

[9 ball]

Guys who will walk up to where you are playing, and take one of your/your opponents cue and walk off with it..... then state "I thought it was a house cue....."

You wouldn't beleive how many times this has happened to me and it is so embarrassing because they think that the cues you've spent $100+ on are just peices of s*** fire wood house cues.

It REALLY bugs me.

 

[Terry Ardeno]

This thread is just chock full of ways to scare up action. I think combining some of these banger moves would get you at least the 7 ball in most poolhalls.

You made me laugh. Oh so true.

 

[Snorks]

Last night..

Banger goes to PoolSponge.. "Hey betcha a beer I can beat you".
PoolSponge "Betcha $100 you can't... "..

Banger quickly left.

 

[3andstop]

There sure are a ton of ridiculous things the bangers do. I think its funny when they stand so close to the person shooting you couldn't get a feeler gauge between em.

Here is one that speaks to their mindset. This happened to me only a few months ago. We were playing One Pocket, and a fellow on the next table came over and said something like, "excuse me, I know the guys on table 1 are the better players, but you guys seem to be missing lots of easy shots. Is this a new strategy?

When we explained the game to him, he then said, " Oh .... but how do you tell who has the stripes and who has the solids?"