Has Pool/Billiards cost you a divorce?

[mullyman]

Pure and simple - you spend too much time playing pool.

Pesonally, I only like league play once a week. I look forward to it. Twice a week becomes a chore. There is too much down time on weekend tournaments as you sit around and do nothing for 75% of the time. Money games are a more efficient use of your time. Once a month is all that I can stand.

You play Saturdays and Sundays. IMO, this is riduculous if you expect to have a married life. You must make a choice between pool playing time and your wife.

I gotta agree here. You're out Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Dude, she would like to have some time with you. I'm willing to bet that she feels that you don't care to spend any time with her.

And no offense, but just asking what to do shows that you don't really care to be spending that time with her.
MULLY

 

[J.Goosman]

I'm going to make this short and sweet because I could write a book about

this subject, based on experience. You really need to look at your marriage

and decide if it is just the game, or if the game is just the excuse for your

marriage not working. I was in this same situation not very long ago

(still in divorce). There is probably more to it than the pool, women do want

a lot of attention, and they should get it if they are a good person. You

need to be communicating with your wife, even if it is difficult for you. They

really like to understand what is going on in your head, women need

an emotional connection with their partner. If you REALLY want your

marriage to work you WILL compromise. You might make a complete life

change to give her what she thinks is going to make her happy, and this

may not work either. It just might be her and pool is a good excuse. Oh,

and by the way, if your women is attractive and your not giving her the

attention that she wants and needs she will find it somewhere else, and

you won't like it! People change, and sometimes it is in a short time frame.

Maybe you two are going in different directions in life. But one thing to

remember life is to short to be unhappy so do what makes you happy.

And if you stay with your wife, look back at what it was like when you

first started dating her, and don't stop dating your wife!! Oh, ya I am still

getting divorced so I might be wrong on all of this!! Lol.

 

[JasonCrugar]

why are divorces so expensive?

 

[inside_english]

My wife is really about to walk out! I play in a league but told her i am not playing in one next season. I play league Monday and Wednsday. I also support my local 9 ball and 8 ball tourneys, they are on Thursday and Friday. I told her i would sacrifice the Thursday due to very little 9 ball players. I have my own pool table at the house that i use everyday and i play my money games on Saturdays and Sundays. I also do all the tip and ferrule repairs where i live. I know i spend alot of time dealing with pool/billiards and hold a 40hr work week for Lockheed. Has anyone been in my shoes. I really love my wife but i really love pool also. She doesnt like pool or watching me play or anything. 10 yrs ago she was right there at every tourney and every match. I just dont know what to do!

That you actually have to ask is troubling.

 

[jsp]

My wife is really about to walk out! I play in a league but told her i am not playing in one next season. I play league Monday and Wednsday. I also support my local 9 ball and 8 ball tourneys, they are on Thursday and Friday. I told her i would sacrifice the Thursday due to very little 9 ball players. I have my own pool table at the house that i use everyday and i play my money games on Saturdays and Sundays. I also do all the tip and ferrule repairs where i live. I know i spend alot of time dealing with pool/billiards and hold a 40hr work week for Lockheed. Has anyone been in my shoes. I really love my wife but i really love pool also. She doesnt like pool or watching me play or anything. 10 yrs ago she was right there at every tourney and every match. I just dont know what to do!

Grow up. Save your marriage.

 

[Jaden]

Does a Wife of more than a couple of years????

i think the real question here is "will pool blow you"? that 1 question should really help you organize your thoughts on the matter!

if the answer is "no and neither with she". kick her to the curb and keep hittin 'em straight!

Does a wife of more than a couple of years "blow you"?

Seriously, I was in this boat too. But if she's giving you shit about pool there's more going on there.

Besides you can get a blow job and or sex from anyone..... a marriage isn't about that or you might as well let it go.

Wives are funny creatures....

In my case. as soon as we met I told my wife that I wouldn't give up pool for her period.

I spent too much time away from the game after my first women troubles over the game, and I won't do that again.

I have made compromises because I love my wife and daughter and they have to come first.

I brought my tournament play down to twice a month. and two major tourneys a year, although that hasn't really been the case either.

Just let them know that they're first in your life and you'd be surprised what they'll let you get away with. If not, like I said there's probably other issues going on.

I had a job where they paid me to travel all over the US and I got to play pool everywhere I went. There couldn't be a better job for a pool player, except for a successful pool tour. I gave it up to be closer to my family more often.

I'm still married and my wife just agreed to let me go to Reno next month, so I am happy.

Jaden

 

[Terry Ardeno]

I really should thank God in heaven for the woman that calls herself my better half. We've been together 15, almost 16 years, now and we still spend every minute of our free time together like when we first started dating. I can't even enjoy myself going out without her. I guess I was lucky enough to find my missing piece in life.
MULLY

Lots of very good responses in this thread. This one is my favorite though.
Good job MM.

I love pool as much as someone can without it being idolatry. If you look real close at my blood under a micro-scope, you'll see that each molicule of blood has a tiny number on it, from 1-15. Each 16th molicule is pure white! Every spare moment I can, I either read about pool, watch Accu-Stats, post here and, when the back was functioning, practicing & playing a LOT! But pool always came behind my faith and then my family & friends. That's why I was never the World Champ! D) I spend LOTS & LOTS of quality time with my wife and kids, and, truth be told, I don't regret it at all.
Some time in the future, when I'm laying on my death bed, I'd rather have my family with me than my Brunswick!

 

[macguy]

My wife is really about to walk out! I play in a league but told her i am not playing in one next season. I play league Monday and Wednsday. I also support my local 9 ball and 8 ball tourneys, they are on Thursday and Friday. I told her i would sacrifice the Thursday due to very little 9 ball players. I have my own pool table at the house that i use everyday and i play my money games on Saturdays and Sundays. I also do all the tip and ferrule repairs where i live. I know i spend alot of time dealing with pool/billiards and hold a 40hr work week for Lockheed. Has anyone been in my shoes. I really love my wife but i really love pool also. She doesnt like pool or watching me play or anything. 10 yrs ago she was right there at every tourney and every match. I just dont know what to do!

There is more wrong then pool in that marriage.

 

[Gradstudent78]

You work 40 hours a week and have scheduled to play pool during 6 days of the week + have a commitment to do tip/ferrule repairs. During all of which your wife is not involved. So what do you do with your wife each week?

 

[ball-banger]

I didn't get a divorce because of pool, but I lost a fiance. At the time I was playing leagues three nights a week, and just shooting around on most weekends. Since she left i'm still playing, though not as much, and if I had a chance to do it over I would definitely have spent more time with her. Think about it. It may be hard to see when you're stuck in the middle of it, but you will regret it later. Just my .02

 

[macguy]

Grow up. Save your marriage.

Maybe but then again there is nothing wrong with selfishness. That may sound strange but you only live once and you have a right to live the life you want. The only rule is, you can't live your life at someone else's expense. Beyond that just live your life. Even many women are putting off getting married realizing that there is more to life then being a wife and mother. Some people are lucky. I have been married 35 years and can't imagine being with anyone else. I have owned several pool rooms and my wife loved them. In fact she talks about us opening another one. She also has things that she likes that has nothing to do with me as well. Her art, yoga, writing. Both parties need to have lives of their own even within the marriage that has nothing to do with the other and allowed to enjoy them. This has to be within reason though and again, not at the others expense.

 

[mnorwood]

I didn't start playing pool until I met my wife. For the first 3 years we were together we played league together and pool halls is where we hung out. When my daughter was born she stopped playing. For a year she allowed the table to be in the living room before I was able to fix my garage. At times she has complained that I spend too much time on it. After the birth of my son I voluntarily cut my time on pool. I love pool as much as anyone but I love my family more. 30 years from now I am not going to regret not practicing more but I would regret losing my wife. I can't tell you what to do, but if I had to choose between my wife and pool there's no contest I would put my stuff on Ebay.

 

[Travis3c]

Ok so im going to work on this. I'm normally at the pool hall at this hour but today im staying home and taking the wife out for a day out on the town.

I know its the time away thats causing the problems, We hardly ever argue when Im home, just after i come home from the pool hall. Im probally going to go seek professional help because Im thinking i have become a serious addict to the table.

Anyways there are some very good threads in this topic

Thanks, im going to work hard at this!!

 

[Tom M]

My wife is really about to walk out! I play in a league but told her i am not playing in one next season. I play league Monday and Wednsday. I also support my local 9 ball and 8 ball tourneys, they are on Thursday and Friday. I told her i would sacrifice the Thursday due to very little 9 ball players. I have my own pool table at the house that i use everyday and i play my money games on Saturdays and Sundays. I also do all the tip and ferrule repairs where i live. I know i spend alot of time dealing with pool/billiards and hold a 40hr work week for Lockheed. Has anyone been in my shoes. I really love my wife but i really love pool also. She doesnt like pool or watching me play or anything. 10 yrs ago she was right there at every tourney and every match. I just dont know what to do!

What are you really looking for here? Okay, I'll answer your question first: No, neither pool, nor any of my many other passions have cost me a divorce.

Most people who ask such a question are just looking for some type of validation of their position, rather than honest feedback or advice. They then go on to reject any views that don't support the way they are already thinking and zero in on the misguided responses that justify their position. You're going to get a lot of that from the public, especially from some of the people on this forum who don't really know you.

Stop reading if you're one of those people. Keep reading if you want an honest and thoughtful opinion.

If you seriously have to ask this question, then your priorities are way out of wack. It sounds like your wife is extremely tolerant. You have mentioned pool activities that have you out of the house every day of the week, and another activity that has you in the shop much of the home time. That's all I know of you, so I'm sure there's much more to the story, but if you really love her, don't you want to spend time with her?

If you love her and if you want to stay married, you'd better figure out WHY you're married and start showing it. It doesn't mean you have to give up pool, but you'd better figure out how to be a pool player AND a husband. Why would she want to be married to someone who is essentially absent?

Sorry if this seems harsh, but your best friend should be telling you the same thing.

Peace and good luck,
Tom

 

[catscradle]

A longitudinal (life time) study of hundreds of the most intelligent people in the USA was conducted some years ago. When they were in their 60s and 70s these people who earned more money, wrote more books, ran more companies than their peers were asked, “What is it all about? How should one live their life?”

Almost to a person the answer went something like this. First you must be on good terms at home. When your home life is taken care of and you are on good terms with your family, you can do anything, become anyone and fully develop your potential.

So that is what some of the most highly intelligent and highly successful people had to say at the end of their lives.

When I read this long term study back in the early 1970s it changed my life. I have lived it and would recommed this perspective to anyone. It seems that even the highly intelligent people who considered themselves a failure looked back at what went wrong in their lives and came to the same conclusion. This is one of those issues that is much too important to one's life to simply let things happen.

People make mistakes and perhaps marry the wrong person. None-the-less the most important thing in one's life is having a family and being an integral part of that family for a good life. Everything else is secondary.

I suspect that successful, happy people who never marry are part of some type of family that provides the love and support we all need.

Joe,
I don't always agree with you, but I've got to say I'm absolutely on board with you on this one. Family first! I know the study of which you speak and read it about the same time.

To the OP,
I won't pretend to be in a position to advise you, but if you and your wife have children please make them your number one priority. If no kids are involved then the real concern is the individual happiness of both you and your wife. Maybe that can be best achieved together or maybe apart, nobody in this forum can answer that question for you.
Good luck.

 

[Matt90]

funny /serious

Option No. 2:

Take a house cue and smack her on the noggin. Grab her by the hair and drag her to the pool hall. Then say, "Me player, you woman. Me hit 'em rock. You collect 'em bread"

...just a thought :embarrassed2:


--refer to legal notice in previous post!

Now that right there was FUNNY !!! Now in all seriousness let me start off
saying that I am 39 and never married .So , just keep in mind I have not
taken that step. Also you must be seriously concerned about this to have
put yourself out there and posted this thread .
I want to tell you real quick about my father . He was a big time bass fisher
or fisherman . He loved fishing ,wrote outdoors articles in local papers
,and was at every tournament within driving distance of NC. I've met and
fished with Bill Dance and Roland Martin if this tells you how much he was into it.
About 6 years after he and my mom split (nothing to do with fishing) he started
dating and met a woman he wanted to marry .The two married and
within about 6 months the fishing came to a halt .Next thing you know the
ranger bass boat was sold ???Then about 18 months after that my father
was at work and went to the hospital with chest pains and unfortunately
died of a massive heart attack 2 days later.
Well here's my point . Don't give up what you love and are passionate about
for anyone for any reason . I sometimes think that if my father would of kept
that boat and worked out something with her that was reasonable and would
not hurt her or the family ,he may still be around or he would of passed doing
what he loved .
If youre not comming home drunk or losing money for bills I can't see why it's
suddenly a problem .I hope it all works out for you , I am dating a woman I
care alot about .It may work and we may end up parting as friends but I can
tell you for sure if I am able to I will be at a pool table somewhere because
it's my hobby and passion . I'm just a C sometimes a D and at times can play
up to a mid B but I still love it .It's nice to set and think sometimes that I
could be a A or A + player with a loving ,supportive wife . However if I quit
or find a bossy woman I may never know. I tend to ramble ,sorry . It always
seems to hit a nerve with me when women do this to men ,maybe because
of what I saw my dad do . It sure was a lesson to me . Im headed to the pool
room

 

[macguy]

Now that right there was FUNNY !!! Now in all seriousness let me start off
saying that I am 39 and never married .So , just keep in mind I have not
taken that step. Also you must be seriously concerned about this to have
put yourself out there and posted this thread .
I want to tell you real quick about my father . He was a big time bass fisher
or fisherman . He loved fishing ,wrote outdoors articles in local papers
,and was at every tournament within driving distance of NC. I've met and
fished with Bill Dance and Roland Martin if this tells you how much he was into it.
About 6 years after he and my mom split (nothing to do with fishing) he started
dating and met a woman he wanted to marry .The two married and
within about 6 months the fishing came to a halt .Next thing you know the
ranger bass boat was sold ???Then about 18 months after that my father
was at work and went to the hospital with chest pains and unfortunately
died of a massive heart attack 2 days later.
Well here's my point . Don't give up what you love and are passionate about
for anyone for any reason . I sometimes think that if my father would of kept
that boat and worked out something with her that was reasonable and would
not hurt her or the family ,he may still be around or he would of passed doing
what he loved .
If youre not comming home drunk or losing money for bills I can't see why it's
suddenly a problem .I hope it all works out for you , I am dating a woman I
care alot about .It may work and we may end up parting as friends but I can
tell you for sure if I am able to I will be at a pool table somewhere because
it's my hobby and passion . I'm just a C sometimes a D and at times can play
up to a mid B but I still love it .It's nice to set and think sometimes that I
could be a A or A + player with a loving ,supportive wife . However if I quit
or find a bossy woman I may never know. I tend to ramble ,sorry . It always
seems to hit a nerve with me when women do this to men ,maybe because
of what I saw my dad do . It sure was a lesson to me . Im headed to the pool
room

Every living human needs to read this book.
http://www.amazon.com/How-Your-Own-Best-Friend/dp/0345342399

Your first obligation is to yourself. In fact it is the only way you can be of any value to others. Unhappy people do not make good partners.

 

[rayjay]

If your marriage/family isn't a higher priority than playing pool, you really can't be a successful husband/father, and obviously this is the case for you. When you're single again you can fill in Tuesdays!

 

[Jim Baxter]

I had a very nice 30' Criss Craft , sold it to make my second wife happy, both are gone now, I could kept the boat and been better off. If shes going to leave, shes going to leave , not much you can do. jim

 

[Marcl3954]

Easy choice

You have a wife that's been with you for a long time!
Sounds like you don't spend any time with her.
Maybe you should sit down and talk this out with her!
What is she willing to consider?
Have you even asked that?
Marriage is for a lifetime and your wife should come first.
I think sleeping with your wife has to be better that sleeping with a pool table!
Good luck! I hope you make the wise decision!