Sean,
Have you seen that show "Deadliest Warrior". They do things like CIA versus KGB, Atilla the Hun versdus Alexander the Great? (you can google it and watch reruns on the net - it's on Spike and it's a kick). The computer decides on who wins because each weapon or tool is measured against the opponent's.
Anyway, maybe we need Dealiest Cuemaker, Thomas Wayne versus Mike Lambros.
Thomas Wayne is armed with with a Mac and a 5 Axis Cam Express Version 7, a Binks spray gun with automotive polyurethane with a buffing wheel, a 3/8 X 10 double headed furniture screw, Gabon Ebony, and Elforyn Ivory substitute.
Mike Lambros has a 3 Axis Centroid, a PC with a Pentium, UV spray system with pumice, a radial pin, a real ivory tusk, and abalone.
---- The battle begins. both the CNC jockeys mount their stock as they begin to make a cue.
Lambros has his set up in 30 minutes and is milling on his trusty 3 Axis Centroid, with ivory filings and dust filling the air while Wayne is still reading the manual to figure out where the "on" button is located on his super complicated Cam Express.
Finally Wayne gets his stock mounted and the 5 axis Cam Express roars to life, but Lambros is almost done pushing his slow but reliable 3 axis machine to the limit.
- Then - disater strikes, as the Lambros PC succumbs to a renegade worm virus he got surfing -shall we say - questionable internet sites. He sheepishly explains that he thought "live cam" was a new 4 axis CNC router!
Anyway, Lambros downloads the fix and it's back to the races. Both cue makers pull their cues off to cut the inlays. Wayne's powerful machine is set too high and too deep, and turns his Elforyn into a steaming pile of silly putty.
-- Meanwhile, Lambros comes to the grim realization that 3 axis has it's limits. He is going to have to do the unthinkable - something he's never actually attemped before and no cue maker has attemped in the last 10 years. He's going to have to sand the cue by hand! He has read about this grim deed but is not sure exactly what to do. He slowly rubs the abalone and realizes that sanding is not that bad of a thing and in fact, it gave him a strange sense of pleasure - like he himself had done something, something good!
- Wayne goes to insert the 3/8 X 10 and realizes the damn die was cut too small, so he crossthreads it and has to add a phenolic insert -oh well, it's a black cue, who cares? It's only a 20K cue anyway. Meanwhile Lambros has the more expensive and foolproof radial pin, which fits perfect every time as long as you don't go for the stinkin' copies (shame on you who buy those, you know who you are too).
- They both finish the cues in about the same time before Wayne reaches for his Binks. He knows that he has to mix the automotive clear 'hot" or the Lambros UV system will eat his lunch. Wayne throws on 3 coats and catches air bubbles - he thinks he may be able to buff through them. He blames it on buzz cause his mask has a couple of cracks. Meanwhile, the Lambros cue is basking in the UV radiation, glowing purple like George Hamilton on a bad day. Lamrbos is putting on the water and pumice and Wayne is buffing away.
And the winner is.....
Stay tuned for part two, and now a word from our sponsor.
E) 
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