Jason,
After watching the video and hearing your comments, I feel compelled to share with you secret not only about pool, but about life. It's not like you asked, but I have an hour to kill - so maybe if you don't read this, someone else will and they'll get something out of it.
We all make decisions. We make decisions in the words we choose, the friends we choose, and those decisions create our situations - past and present.
Playing pool for a living is not an easy life. As you progress in the game - or for that matter anything in life - your standard of living - or your level of overall success should increase. If it is not doing that, then you have to stop, re-evaluate and make changes in your strategy. If you're not where you want to be in your life or your chosen career field, all you need to do is go look in the mirror and you'll see why.
It's nobody else's fault. You made the decisions that got you where you are at. You made the decisions that created your reality. Nobody else.
I believe that most people get lost in life due to being frustrated with things that they cannot control.
As a player, I cannot control the tournament director, the way he does the draw - or anything else. I cannot control other players. I cannot control other people. I cannot control anything except me, my thoughts, my perceptions, my words, and my actions.
Everything else is uncontrollable. I'll frustrate myself into oblivion if I try to change anything else besides myself.
If I find myself in a volatile relationship with anyone in the world of pool, then I need to look at my part in it, the choices I made, the words I chose, and who I shared those words with and why.
It's not always the other person, and more times than not - realizing that I need to change is best lesson learned from those situations.
During your "interview", I heard a lot about what was wrong with pool, and personality conflicts that you have had with others in regards to your skill level. As you progress in this game, you will be pushed towards where you belong in regards to tournament competition. It sucks, but that's just how it is. You either rise to the occasion and meet those challenges and persevere, or you play the blame game and become a miserable, bitter, unhappy person that finds comfort in playing the victim.
It comes down to choices.
You have a lot of talent, but you have to ask yourself... what do you have to show for it? If there is a gap between what you have and what you want, then you need to get to work and shorten that gap.
It's one thing to be able to run the table, but you also have to be able to run your life. All those roadblocks and hurdles are there to make you stronger. You have to break through those walls and jump over those hurdles - again and again and again. Allowing others to take advantage of your reactions and outbursts and personality traits displays weakness - it's there, whether or not you want to acknowledge it. It doesn't matter how good you are, how good you shoot, or where you finished in the DCC banks Division... if you are consistently being your own worst enemy, you're not going to get very far.
A long time ago I was taught that it was better to be respected for who I was away from the table than to be respected for my accomplishments at the table. Both factor into the equation, but one is worthless without the other. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to better yourself personally and professionally, while at the same time putting the game (and all of those involved in the game) before your own needs. That includes blaming, personality conflicts, etc, etc.
You'll find that when you've put all of the pieces of the puzzle together - make the amends to the people that you owe them to - and then proceed in a positive direction with your head held high, that the pool world becomes a better place to live in - and the best part is that you'll become a target for good intentions.
Who doesn't want that?
Hopefully you'll take this message as a gesture of support - not as a criticism. Most of what I just told you is what I need to remind myself every day of my life.
Blackjack
PS: Sherodaka and Mike are good people, you're in good hands and extremely blessed to have them as friends.