Best AZB Qutoes

My avitar

JoeW said:
Overheard at a pool match, "He can draw that cue ball better than most people draw with a pencil."

WillieBetMore, ".25% club."

Yeah Chilli66, the boy in this man is never growing up. Your quote rings oh so true. Eyes may not be what they used to be but the heart is still there.

For those who did not know it, The great Yogi once said, "If you come to a fork in the road, take it." Think about that when considering your options in a pool game.

JgPool, your avitar is a tank without wheels.
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I would love to try and shoot with one of that Mace in my avitar just to see how tough it would be. I can see how and why it evolved into what it is today. I wonder if anyone is around who could give some lessons with that today. :D :D

Another Yogyism:
"I was trying to start a conversation, but everyone was talking":eek:
 
could be fun

jgpool said:
I would love to try and shoot with one of that Mace in my avitar just to see how tough it would be. I can see how and why it evolved into what it is today. I wonder if anyone is around who could give some lessons with that today. :D :D
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It would be fun to make a couple and practice a few months then head to a big event and see who you could get to bet a few sets. "Hey Corey, you did say you would give anyone in the US the eight, come on over here and play. We both use maces!" :D :D :D

Hu
 
It sure would be intimidating if you walked into a pool room with one of those things. I would guess it would be legal (on the balls not on heads!) and I doubt it would be too difficult to make one -- a big one. Now there is an "old time" player.:D

Hey, for all the other old guys out there, I just found out today that I play better without my glasses than I do with my glasses. Now I can run three balls, sometimes more.
 
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I think I will make two maces, just for the heck of it. I will use your JgPool's avatar as a model but will off set the stick a little to allow for the rails.
 
One a retired Oregon logger told me: "I'm quicker than I ever was. When I was a young man, whenever I'd trip over a root, I'd stumble and stagger for a hundred feet before I fell. Today, I just fall right down." :D

I'll leave it up to others here to twist this to being pool related.
 
Heard a couple over the years:

Man, I couldnt hit water if I fell out of a boat!.

On making a tough cut or bank talking about the object ball:

Like it had eyes.

On a great safe:

Put me in a Mortal lock.

I apologize for the next one in advance:
On putting crazy draw on a shot.

Man even your sister couldn't suck one back like that!
 
You obviously never heard this one.

You make a lucky shot.

Your opponent says: "I can't believe how lucky you are." Or something similar.

You reply: "The more I practice, the luckier I get."

This line has been attributed to Jack Nicklaus,

Wish I said it first.
 
I remember something like "he has no heart for gambling, he wouldn't bet that the ocean was wet."... also "he couldn't hit the sky if he shot straight up." ...and I think russ quoted the Beard as having said something like "he's got him thinking there's monsters in his cornflakes, he's liable to shoot at anything".

Also, at the risk of offending some people, I laughed when I first heard "man stevie wonder could get out from here". Don't know if that oldie has been spotted on AZB before. I know I put up "we call him pine tree... he has no leaves."
 
How about this one from Jeff Carter after watching Efren make a ball with the opposite hand. " I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous".
 
ironman said:
It could have been me. It certainly fits.


Another was by a pretty popular player who said, "I am all about my knowledge, that is why they call me MR. "N".

If ever around Bobby Hunter to tellya about that one. He laughs like a child. It is worth listening to.
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Ironman,

That's actually on an AccuStats tape commented by Grady, who told that story like this...Mike Sigel made an incredible shot and pointed his index finger at his temple and said "I'm so smart they should call me 'Mr N' for knowledge. Grady then pauses for a few seconds before saying "Then we correctly pointed out that knowledge starts with a K"

I read somewhere where a guy was in a poolroom and after looking around said "I may not be the best player in here, but I'm certainly in the top one."
 
Some of the very funniest lines have been uttered by "The Professor" himself, Grady Mathews....


* "He scrutinized the multi colored spheres longer than the time I took to select my 2nd wife."

* "I want to know if you use hair color. I suspect you do."

* "I'll give him a 1 way ticket to anywhere in the world, provided he stay a year."

*"What a splendid speciman of womankind."

*"That cue looks like an 8th grade woodshop project, with a D grade to boot."

*"That's his power break, which won't hurt our ears."


Grady Mathews is such a wonderful character!
 
Here's a very old & famous one for you. Back when colour TV's were rare in the UK, Ted Lowe commentating on a snooker match.

"For those of you watching in black & white, the blue is behind the pink."
 
Not on AZB but during an IPT broadcast. Siegle was asked something
about the large number of Philipino players in the tournament. His
reply: "These Philipino guys... I don't know where they come from."


Not picking on Mike:) commentating isn't easy. but, duhhhhh
 
See it

JoeW said:
I think I will make two maces, just for the heck of it. I will use your JgPool's avatar as a model but will off set the stick a little to allow for the rails.
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When you get them made I would love to see them! That would be :cool: !
 
heard this one friday night

playing a ring game and I made a tough shot and one of the other guys said That's stronger than battery acid. First time I had heard that one, not really that funny but the way he said it had me laughing.
 
In Germantown a slow playing SL5, Ernie, kind of a nerdy guy who everybody liked, got hot and he was speeding around the table walking on his toes almost he was so excited.

I commented: "Look, he is doing the 'Ernie Hop'.
 
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