Best Lines You Ever Heard...

I was at the Hole Thang a little while back with some friends and one of my friends is missing three fingers off of one of his hands ... He gets called to the table and has to play Scotty Townsend ... Scotty walks up the table sees my friends hand and asks right away ... Hey anyone ever call you fingers? My friend just busted out in laughter I'm not sure if Scotty was trying to intimidate my friend or just cutting up....But they had one heck of a game Scotty won but Bruce kept him tied up with safes it was a good match, a race to 7 and pretty close it was worth watching just to listen to Scotty ...
 
I had had a snooker cue made, this was my dream cue. Hand spliced ebony but and ash, one piece. I had a really nice box case that only holds one cue so its a skinny. I thought I was the man walking to the snooker club hoping people just saw the case. I walk into the snooker club and lay it down on the bar just smiling and waiting for someone to say something about it. Then a great snooker player named Joe Johnson came up to the bar and with a straight face he looked at the case and said "Snake die?"
 
This happened a couple years ago.It was between 1 world champion and 1 highly ranked player.
champion:come on lets play some some sets.
player:I need some weight
champion:i`ll give you the 8 for $1000
Player:I`ll tell you what I will just give you the 8 for $1000
Champion:YOUR GOING TO GIVE ME THE 8?
PLAYER:I might as well give you the 8 because isure as hell can`t win getting the eight.
 
I'm going in with Billy on a couple of sets in Raleigh. He was doggin' it a little.

"Hey Billy, slow down a bit. You got this guy."

"Hey, I'm fu@#in' this cat, you just hold it's head."
 
Jimmy Vegas

TX Poolnut said:
The railbirds start hollering to Jimmy that he moved the wrong coin. Jimmy says," That's OK. I go both ways." The place erupted in laughter.
Click to expand...

Yeah Jimmy Vegas is full of em. Same tourn, the second day's matches are starting up, it's probably 9 or 10 or something like that, I go, "Mornin' Jimmy."

"Oh is that what they call it when that bright object appears in the sky?"
 
After I bought Charlie Brinson a hotdog.

"Damn, that sure is better than that bar of soap I had yesterday."
 
Friggin' HIlarious . . .

DUOBIS said:
It Was At The Northern Lights Shootout At The Northern Lights Casino In Western Canada I Believe. Alex P Is Playing Cliff Thourburn, Alex Is Up Something Like 9-0 In A Race To 11, The First Moment Of Silence Cliff Says To Alex "by The Way, How Does The Table Play".
Click to expand...


Funniest one posted yet . . . !!
 
I ran into a pool player I know in a bar, hadn't seen him in 5 yrs. heard he had quit playing. I asked how you hitting em ? He said my pool is like my masturbation, it gives me fleeting pleasure, but it's a horrible thing to watch.
 
Eric Durbin

"Don't worry baby. I got your money...... It's just in action right now." ~ Eric Durbin

JoeyA
 
We were sitting in a pool room in Orlando once and in walks David Grossman. We weren't sure who he was but had heard of him. He offered to give my friend the 8 ball on a real tight 9' Diamond. My buddy wins the toss and puts a six pack on him and Grossman says let play even. My buddy looks at him and says I'm not changing the spot I aint even seen you you shoot yet.
 
Just heard this today:

a couple of guys who normally play about the same speed (pretty good players) were playing some cheap sets of 9-ball. Player B was playing horribley, hanging 9-balls, missing hooks and selling out, missing ball in-hand, just not his normal self. The guys on the rail saw this and asked if we were interested in playing partners. Player A said "we are playing partners, 'player B' is my partner" (you know, cause he kept selling out). :p Well it sure got a hoot out of us.

Dave
 
Danny Jones

I had the pleasure of being friends with Danny Jones "HandSome Danny" in his latter years of life and he once told this tale: as told to me.....

Well I was going to this Tournament and owed this guy that was going to be there $300 .,so sure enough I met up with him, Danny say's to the guy , well I owe you $300 would you take $200 and call it even?..the guy says yes! and "HandSome Danny" say's ......

"Well now I just owe you $200, ...I'll get back with ya!"

The guy was left with his jaw wide open!:eek:

hehe...Only Danny would come with that one!:)


David Harcrow
 
catpool9 said:
I had the pleasure of being friends with Danny Jones "HandSome Danny" in his latter years of life and he once told this tale: as told to me.....

Well I was going to this Tournament and owed this guy that was going to be there $300 .,so sure enough I met up with him, Danny say's to the guy , well I owe you $300 would you take $200 and call it even?..the guy says yes! and "HandSome Danny" say's ......

"Well now I just owe you $200, ...I'll get back with ya!"

The guy was left with his jaw wide open!:eek:

hehe...Only Danny would come with that one!:)


David Harcrow
Click to expand...

I believe Grady tells that story on one of his tapes. Can't remember who the "victim" was.
 
The Victim "Was"

mosconiac said:
I believe Grady tells that story on one of his tapes. Can't remember who the "victim" was.
Click to expand...


The Victim "Was" ......The guy who Danny Jones OWEd $300 too!:thumbup:


David Harcrow
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top