Best pool-related quotes/one-liners

when playing 8 ball and I run the rack down but mess up on the 8 or close to it Ill tell my opponent "there, I got all my s#!% out of the way for ya!"

and on the purse/skirt/sally liner.....Mine is "put your purse down and hit it!"
 
When some of my friends are getting every roll in the world I will ask them if they worked at the old folks home today. That or either...Have you been helping old ladies cross the street today. A buddy of mine played this guy giving him the 7 . It lasted about 45 minutes. When he was leaving he looked at him and said...If I knew you didn't play any better than that I would have gave you some more weight. The room owner and the the other player didn't like it,but that was just his way
 
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one-liners

DOES YOUR SISTER PLAY??? and of course ---IT ONLY GETS WORSE!!!!:angry:
 
When I play a lefty I often ask him "how long have you been left-handed?" Gives 'em something to thing about other than pool. One guy replied "ever since I broke my right arm when I was a kid."

and

When my buddy beats a guy real bad he "steps on his neck".

and

After a nice cut shot, "Pappy always told me to cut thin to win."
 
When my opponent slops a ball in I sometimes say "The sun even shines on a dogs a$$ someday"s" :grin:
 
Billi Ardball said:
When I play a lefty I often ask him "how long have you been left-handed?" Gives 'em something to thing about other than pool. One guy replied "ever since I broke my right arm when I was a kid."
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Speaking of lefties. If I'm playing a lefty and he's in bad form that day missing everything he shoots at, I tell him "You know what the problem is? You're using a right handed cue."

MULLY
 
I'm just sayin'

Even a blind bear bats a salmon out of a stream sometimes.
 
when getting really lucky with the rolls and slop: "you been f-----g leprachauns again?"
 
mvp said:
money dont buy happiness but it does buy you really cool shit!!!
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"i had to beg him to play and he robbed me."!

Floyd Meyers, "He couldn't run out if we opened every door in the building"!


Floyd Meyers,"He's so broke he ain't got bird seed for a koo koo clock"!

Floyd Meyers at 94 years old,"Some body play some, I'm gettin tired"!
 
Ones i have heard and maybe said,
he cut the ears off that ball
if someone slops one in Thats how i would have played it
Or one i use almost weekly. Low handicap on team calls a coach i suggest safety he says i am going for it as always with this guy.
Ok then hit it hard and wish it well
They are prob. old and lame but i like them
 
Here's one i used a year or so ago.

When some one messes up a break or shoots hard and misses.

"woo wee that ball is off like a prom dress!"

usually good for a few laughs or at least a quizzical look.
 
worried backer tells his horse he's losing too much.

horse replies: 'Hey, I'm the one f#%^ing this cat. You just stand there and hold its head.'

-s
 
Like my dear old daddy used to say before he left this sh*ty world....

Don't Make the Bet if you can't pay the Debt!
 

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