How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
For my Jewish AzB friends...
- Thread starter Kickin' Chicken
- Start date
How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
CuesForJews.
Ok, now come over and clean up the beer I just snorted on my keyboard.
Just go out and shoot pool, don't worry about me, I'll just sit in the dark and try not to think about it being dark.
The morning will come soon and it will bring light. You go out and have fun without me. You know, when you were born it was night and it was dark, the pain you caused me when you were born. But don't worry about me, I'm just your mother, nobody important
compared to your pool buddies.
Should I go on or do I have it right?
Ok, now come over and clean up the beer I just snorted on my keyboard.
Just go out and shoot pool, don't worry about me, I'll just sit in the dark and try not to think about it being dark.
The morning will come soon and it will bring light. You go out and have fun without me. You know, when you were born it was night and it was dark, the pain you caused me when you were born. But don't worry about me, I'm just your mother, nobody important
compared to your pool buddies.
Should I go on or do I have it right?
Last edited:
He may not have been that good a player, but John Moses Brunswick deserves a mention. Definitely Jewish.
On the maybe list, how about Ralph Greenleaf? I never read where he was Jewish, but I never read where he was something else. The name Greenleaf is an english form of the Germanic name Grunblatt (mit der umlaut) and is often Jewish.
And what about Willie Mosconovich?
None. "Don't worry about me. I'll just sit here in the dark. You have a good time with your friends."
Bob <<-- I pinch pennies. Is that close enough?
Does anyone know if milk duds are kosher?
Milk Duds
Milk Duds are not kosher unless you use non-dairy milk.
I put one on one of my Sugartree's and my Rabbi advised me to trade it.
Even add cash if necessary...
Milk Duds are not kosher unless you use non-dairy milk.
I put one on one of my Sugartree's and my Rabbi advised me to trade it.
Even add cash if necessary...
Here's my small contribution for a happy New Year...
A bum walks up to a Jewish mother for a handout asking, "Lady, can you help me out? I haven't eaten in a week!". Her reply, "Force yourself".
Best,
Mike
When I first read this thread, I admit that I feared it could develop into an unpleasant one. My parents, for some reason, said one should never discuss religion, politics, and age in public because sometimes personal feelings can get explosive on those topics. :frown:
Just take a stroll down to the NPR section of this forum, and you'll see what I mean.
My best friend used to be extremely sensitive about the mere mention of the word "Jewish" or "Jew" or anything to do with religion. Her Polish father was a Holocaust survivor, and her German mother was Catholic. How they got together is the stuff that movies are made of. She was raised Jewish.
When we were young girls, she never went to synagogue, except on big holidays, but her family did celebrate the Jewish holidays with elaborate meals that I was always invited to. Oh, man, her mom made the absolute best matzah ball soup I ever had in my life, but that gefilte fish, I've never been able to develop a taste for. Yuck! And they had that fish at every holiday meal. :embarrassed2:
About 15 years ago, she got pregnant out of wedlock in her forties. She was divorced and the father of this child was not her ex. She didn't know what to do and was embarrassed to tell her parents. She toyed around with the idea of abortion.
Finally, she got the courage to tell her parents that she was with child but was prepared to abort the fetus, fearing she didn't want to bring shame to the family. She took me with her to tell her parents because she was scared at what their reaction would be to an unmarried daughter being pregnant. :shocked:
When the words about the abortion left her lips, her father jumped up and ran over to her, got down on his knees, and hugged her, patting her belly. "No, no, no. This is my grandchild. My entire family was murdered, and you know I am the living survivor. Please have this baby. This is the best gift you could ever give me, my dearest daughter." Well, by this time, everybody was crying, but they were happy tears. :love2:
Both her parents have passed away, and her son is now 15. She's enrolled him in a private Hebrew school and is now very religious. Her son's last name is her maiden name, and even though the Holocaust demolished her father's entire family, this boy's very existence is truly a godsend.
Just take a stroll down to the NPR section of this forum, and you'll see what I mean.
My best friend used to be extremely sensitive about the mere mention of the word "Jewish" or "Jew" or anything to do with religion. Her Polish father was a Holocaust survivor, and her German mother was Catholic. How they got together is the stuff that movies are made of. She was raised Jewish.
When we were young girls, she never went to synagogue, except on big holidays, but her family did celebrate the Jewish holidays with elaborate meals that I was always invited to. Oh, man, her mom made the absolute best matzah ball soup I ever had in my life, but that gefilte fish, I've never been able to develop a taste for. Yuck! And they had that fish at every holiday meal. :embarrassed2:
About 15 years ago, she got pregnant out of wedlock in her forties. She was divorced and the father of this child was not her ex. She didn't know what to do and was embarrassed to tell her parents. She toyed around with the idea of abortion.
Finally, she got the courage to tell her parents that she was with child but was prepared to abort the fetus, fearing she didn't want to bring shame to the family. She took me with her to tell her parents because she was scared at what their reaction would be to an unmarried daughter being pregnant. :shocked:
When the words about the abortion left her lips, her father jumped up and ran over to her, got down on his knees, and hugged her, patting her belly. "No, no, no. This is my grandchild. My entire family was murdered, and you know I am the living survivor. Please have this baby. This is the best gift you could ever give me, my dearest daughter." Well, by this time, everybody was crying, but they were happy tears. :love2:
Both her parents have passed away, and her son is now 15. She's enrolled him in a private Hebrew school and is now very religious. Her son's last name is her maiden name, and even though the Holocaust demolished her father's entire family, this boy's very existence is truly a godsend.
One of the few things I miss from my traveling days is the Jewish delicatessens in New York. Harry and Ben's, right across the street from the main entrance of the Edison Hotel. A Harry's special and a bottle of beer, a repast too good for a king.
And nobody tells a Jewish joke like a Jew.
Dave Nelson
And nobody tells a Jewish joke like a Jew.
Dave Nelson
my buddy malik zambitsu is jewish. i'll have to call him and with him a happy new year or something
Now for my Rosh Hashanah true story :thumbup:
Long time ago, I received a recording from a religious group who needed me to provide them a Word-formatted document of the words spoken.
They had visited a man in prison, and the beginning of the recording was in progress and went like this:
"...I wouldn't mind for this guy praying for me. This is a real guy. So I did something better for him. We arranged to send a chauffeur in there and a tape that taught him how to blow the chauffeur and permission from the government to allow him to use the tape and to learn how to blow the chauffeur."
Those were the first words on this recording, as it began in progress, and I'm thinking a man in prison blowing a chauffeur, something is definitely wrong with this picture. :yikes:
Well, even though it sounded like "chauffeur," I later learned that the word should have been "shofar." A shofar is a horn used for Jewish religious purposes and is usually incorporated in synagogue services on Rosh Hashanah.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Long time ago, I received a recording from a religious group who needed me to provide them a Word-formatted document of the words spoken.
They had visited a man in prison, and the beginning of the recording was in progress and went like this:
"...I wouldn't mind for this guy praying for me. This is a real guy. So I did something better for him. We arranged to send a chauffeur in there and a tape that taught him how to blow the chauffeur and permission from the government to allow him to use the tape and to learn how to blow the chauffeur."
Those were the first words on this recording, as it began in progress, and I'm thinking a man in prison blowing a chauffeur, something is definitely wrong with this picture. :yikes:
Well, even though it sounded like "chauffeur," I later learned that the word should have been "shofar." A shofar is a horn used for Jewish religious purposes and is usually incorporated in synagogue services on Rosh Hashanah.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Attachments
![225px-Liten_askenasisk_sjofar_5380[1].jpg](/data/attachments/112/112688-718ac4405d27d0651740db96d53b8c8c.jpg?hash=cYrEQF0n0G)
TIME for a JEWISH Pastrami Deli Sandwich...
Last edited:
MMMMM
Hot corned beef, fresh bread and a big pickle (kosher of course).
Hot corned beef, fresh bread and a big pickle (kosher of course).
Damn COCO, now i'm hungry.
No you Goi Gentiles it is Hot PASTRAMI, on Jew RYE!
What have I got to do to educate you?
Hebrew School?:smile:
What have I got to do to educate you?
Hebrew School?:smile: