Funnier than S#%$

crawfish

crawfish

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
So, I am playing one pocket with one of the league players last Monday night. This guy is watching. I mean really watching. I thought he might be clocking one of us for a little action. He comes over and corrects me on an inside English bank. Evidently I should have known better. He then proceeds to tell me that it would have been easier if I would've shot the ball in the side. Get it. In the side? After laughing, (however I did not discount that this was a clever "get action" move) I explained to him that we weren't playing eight ball. No response, so I guess he wasn't just looking for action. Ever have anything funny like that happen?
 
I was playing one pocket with my pal, and a young kid turned to his girlfriend and said "see, they break like sissy"...
 
I know it's hard to believe, but my wife doesn't like pool. She doesn't hate it, she just thinks never pays it no attention. She says I'm a pool "geek", whatever that is.:confused:

Anyway, years ago, I was watching an Accu-Stats tape of Efren Reyes vs Grady Mathews in a ONE POCKET match. She walks in the room, stands there for about 2 minutes watching them and never says a word. Then she says "These guys are terrible! They can't even make a ball!" and walks out of the room.....
 
I practice playing rotation a lot. Every now and then someone will ask me why the 8 ball isnt in the middle of the rack.
 
RunoutalloverU said:
I practice playing rotation a lot. Every now and then someone will ask me why the 8 ball isnt in the middle of the rack.
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You should say "I don't know how to play any games yet, just know to hit the balls... you want to play for something?" :)
 
crawfish said:
So, I am playing one pocket with one of the league players last Monday night. This guy is watching. I mean really watching. I thought he might be clocking one of us for a little action. He comes over and corrects me on an inside English bank. Evidently I should have known better. He then proceeds to tell me that it would have been easier if I would've shot the ball in the side. Get it. In the side? After laughing, (however I did not discount that this was a clever "get action" move) I explained to him that we weren't playing eight ball. No response, so I guess he wasn't just looking for action. Ever have anything funny like that happen?
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I have an opposite story, I was watching a couple of guys playing what I though was one-pocket, when I went to chat with them, turns out they were just REALLY bad at 8-ball :eek: :D
 
he brings the wife

in the 70's joe balsas is shooting an exhibition at a small poolhall in downey ca. my buddy brings his wife, who doesnt play pool, and we are watching the straight pool match, she comments that "hes not very good all he ever does is shoot straight in shots". she was much happier when the trick shot portion of the exhibition came around.
 
desi2960 said:
in the 70's joe balsas is shooting an exhibition at a small poolhall in downey ca. my buddy brings his wife, who doesnt play pool, and we are watching the straight pool match, she comments that "hes not very good all he ever does is shoot straight in shots". she was much happier when the trick shot portion of the exhibition came around.
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And this is why we have movies like Poolhall Junkies that show good players banking every shot :cool: :eek:
 
A whole new level of "bad"

hang-the-9 said:
I have an opposite story, I was watching a couple of guys playing what I though was one-pocket, when I went to chat with them, turns out they were just REALLY bad at 8-ball :eek: :D
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Now that is funny...
 
hang-the-9 said:
You should say "I don't know how to play any games yet, just know to hit the balls... you want to play for something?" :)
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That's awesomeness in writing. I wonder if anyone would ever fall for that?
 
A million years ago, I was playing some in a pool hall with my friend. Actually, he was my 8-ball team captain. The table next to us, two guys were playing straight pool. My buddy keeps eying them. When they both took a break, my friend asks me what they're playing.

I told him that they were playing straight pool. So, he steps up to their table and just starts firing balls in. Their balls! Of course, I'm sitting there with my mouth open wondering what he was doing. And when the two players came back, they obviuosly wanted to kill him.

See, my friend is like the millions of other people who don't know what 14.1 is. "Straight pool" to him meant "straight 8," which most of know doesn't really exist. And, since he thought I told him that they were playing "straight 8," that they had walked away from the table after a bad break.

Fred
 
Cornerman said:
A million years ago, I was playing some in a pool hall with my friend. Actually, he was my 8-ball team captain. The table next to us, two guys were playing straight pool. My buddy keeps eying them. When they both took a break, my friend asks me what they're playing.

I told him that they were playing straight pool. So, he steps up to their table and just starts firing balls in. Their balls! Of course, I'm sitting there with my mouth open wondering what he was doing. And when the two players came back, they obviuosly wanted to kill him.

See, my friend is like the millions of other people who don't know what 14.1 is. "Straight pool" to him meant "straight 8," which most of know doesn't really exist. And, since he thought I told him that they were playing "straight 8," that they had walked away from the table after a bad break.

Fred
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Similar to a story from this year's DCC straight pool where a couple guys took a break in the middle of a match and left the cue ball and breakout ball in position but when they returned a couple people were knocking around the breakout ball. They figured if they didn't disturb the rack they wouldn't hurt anything. I can understand it in a bar but at DCC you would think people would know what straight pool is.
 
alstl said:
Similar to a story from this year's DCC straight pool where a couple guys took a break in the middle of a match and left the cue ball and breakout ball in position but when they returned a couple people were knocking around the breakout ball. They figured if they didn't disturb the rack they wouldn't hurt anything. I can understand it in a bar but at DCC you would think people would know what straight pool is.
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I saw that! It was on the accu-stats table too. You figure those guys would have noticed that they were in the middle of the arena, and there was the score board on the table next to the rack of balls and break ball.:eek: :rolleyes: :eek:
 
No pockets

While playing 3 cushion one night a couple of bangers approached the table and informed me that the table had no pockets. I told them that I knew that and they wanted to know how it was possible to make a ball.

I showed them the cut out in the slate under the rails at the corner and told them that if a ball hit exactly in the corner the the rails would separate and the ball would fall in the pocket.:D :eek:

They stood and watched for several minutes before becoming bored and returned to banging balls on their own table. They weren't having any better success shooting balls in the hole than I was. lol

Steve
 
I was in a pool room playing 9-ball with a buddy. In walked a guy and his girlfriend and they proceded to get a set of balls and go over to the table.

As he was racking up the balls his girlfriend asked him "why are they only using some of the balls"...

He proceeded (in his best Flamingo impersonation) to try and impress her by telling her how when you first start learning the game you only use a few balls, but as you get better you use all of the balls....

Of course this was on the table right next to us and my buddy and I heard the whole thing.

My buddy and I were laughing under our breath...As this was all happening I quietly pointed out to my buddy something I noticed...He could not resist the temptation.......He walked over and said to the guy..."Hey....the spot is at the other end of the table"....That is where you are supposed to rack the balls......

The girl got a look on her face like...what kind of idiot did I go out with....The guy had that look that you see in the Southwest Airlines commercials....."You wanna get away"????
 
hang-the-9 said:
I have an opposite story, I was watching a couple of guys playing what I though was one-pocket, when I went to chat with them, turns out they were just REALLY bad at 8-ball :eek: :D
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I've been playing straight pool and been asked which pocket I had. Also, I was at a straight pool championships -- either the US Open or the World's -- and heard a spectator ask his buddy, "Who's got the stripes?"
 
Again while playing 3 cushion a young girl was sitting quietly watching the game.

During the course of the game a shot was missed by the smallest of margins and the comment, "I missed that by a 'C' hair!" was made.

The young girl sat there for a moment with a puzzled look on her face before saying, "It was way closer than that, mine are about 4 inches long."

Steve
 
A guy walks into the pro shop with his golf clubs and has a pool cue sticking out....(There is no significance to the pool cue...I just wanted to keep it pool related)

He walks up to the counter and says...I would like a bucket of large balls for the driving range..........


"I am sorry sir...we only have one size ball"
 
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