Has Pool/Billiards cost you a divorce?

Travis3c

Travis3c

AV Pool Nut
Silver Member
My wife is really about to walk out! I play in a league but told her i am not playing in one next season. I play league Monday and Wednsday. I also support my local 9 ball and 8 ball tourneys, they are on Thursday and Friday. I told her i would sacrifice the Thursday due to very little 9 ball players. I have my own pool table at the house that i use everyday and i play my money games on Saturdays and Sundays. I also do all the tip and ferrule repairs where i live. I know i spend alot of time dealing with pool/billiards and hold a 40hr work week for Lockheed. Has anyone been in my shoes. I really love my wife but i really love pool also. She doesnt like pool or watching me play or anything. 10 yrs ago she was right there at every tourney and every match. I just dont know what to do!
 
Travis3c said:
Has Pool/Billiards cost you a divorce?
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No, but it sure has sped up the process once or twice.

I really love my wife but i really love pool also.
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If you having to decide between a game of pool and your wife, perhaps she has a point. Just sayin.

Seriously, always put your family first & you won't regret it later.
 
Blackjack said:
No, but it sure has sped up the process once or twice.



If you having to decide between a game of pool and your wife, perhaps she has a point. Just sayin.

Seriously, always put your family first & you won't regret it later.
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What he said!

it's cost me a friend and a girlfriend. everytime i run a rack i feel like losing them was totally worth it!

if i were you i'd cut it down to two leage night a week and the tip/ferrule work you mentioned. that should leave plenty of time for you and her
 
You've made it clear that pool comes before her. If you want her to stay you'll have to make it clear that your priorities have switched. Are there kids involved?
 
i think the real question here is "will pool blow you"? that 1 question should really help you organize your thoughts on the matter!

if the answer is "no and neither with she". kick her to the curb and keep hittin 'em straight!
 
Wow, I'm female and I'm totally on your side. She knew what she was getting into from the beginning - it's pretty unfair to start *****ing about it now.

The only solution I can come up with is decide which of your pool commitments is the least fun and cut that out... and on those night/times, spend time with her.

If you're very very lucky, that will make her happy.
 
poolplayer2093 said:
i think the real question here is "will pool blow you"? that 1 question should really help you organize your thoughts on the matter!

if the answer is "no and neither with she". kick her to the curb and keep hittin 'em straight!
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lol, you nailed it. I used to go out and play everynight but marrige and kids forced a change. Now I have a table in the house so I can practice at home. I go out one night a week for league or matchups and the occasinal tourny. If you're gonna be married you gotta give your chic most of your time. But you can always find ways to fit in time for your hobbies.
 
Pool wasn't a problem 10 yrs ago but it is now? Are you sure pool is the problem?

I ask because I just came back from the brink of divorce. She had a retainer down with a lawyer and I was unraveling our finances and trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do.

It turns out we had lost the ability to communicate. Things I thought were obvious weren't to her, and vice versa. We each thought the other didn't give a shit anymore, and we were both wrong. It took us going to the brink to discover what was going on and to fix it.

It's like we hit the rewind button 20yrs and started over at the point when things were good. The last week has been like the honeymoon we never had. It's never too late if you think there is something worth saving and fighting for. I had to write down what I couldn't say to her, and I am glad I did, because she really had no clue.

Food for thought.

Incidently I took up pool when things got really bad because I needed to get out. She is now totally into my pool playing and has even started playing herself and enjoying it.

good luck


:cool:
 
I had to cut it down to one 9 ball tourney a week. I practice in the afternoon after I get off, before she gets home. Sounds like you are over doing it some what. You are going to have to make a decision about which one u love more.
 
It takes balance to make a marriage work, and that might be the problem. The reason you got married was to spend time together. But in order to grow, you also need some time for to do things independently. Too much of either can cause problems.

I play league one night a week, and a tournament one night a week. The other nights, I'm home. She has her things she does without me. She is involved in animal rescue groups, and may be working at adoption events, or helping transport dogs that the group rescues from kill shelters. Her volunteer work makes her happy, my pool nights make me happy, and it works for both of us.

If you want pool to be the biggest thing in your life, other things are going to become less important. If it happens to be your wife, she will eventually be looking for someone who wants to make her the most important thing. (Women seem to like to be the most important thing in their guy's life. Go figure!)

Decide what is important to you, and handle it accordingly. If pool really is more important, maybe you aren't meant to be married. If it's your wife, then you probably need to spend more time at home, and less in the pool room.

Good luck either way.

Steve
 
Travis3c said:
My wife is really about to walk out! I play in a league but told her i am not playing in one next season. I play league Monday and Wednsday. I also support my local 9 ball and 8 ball tourneys, they are on Thursday and Friday. I told her i would sacrifice the Thursday due to very little 9 ball players. I have my own pool table at the house that i use everyday and i play my money games on Saturdays and Sundays. I also do all the tip and ferrule repairs where i live. I know i spend alot of time dealing with pool/billiards and hold a 40hr work week for Lockheed. Has anyone been in my shoes. I really love my wife but i really love pool also. She doesnt like pool or watching me play or anything. 10 yrs ago she was right there at every tourney and every match. I just dont know what to do!
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Life and relationships are mostly about compromise. She knew 10 years ago that you played pool and understands that is part of who you are, but she obviously doesn't play and has tired of the scene. What was interesting at one time may not be interesting anymore. People grow and change. Sometimes together and sometimes apart.

In her defense, you play Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, work 40 hours a week, work on ferrules and practice as well. How much time left do you have for her? Sounds to me like she is feeling neglected.

I think it is important in relationships to have similar interests, hobbies, activities, political views, religious beliefs, financial goals, dreams, etc. Isn't that what relationships are all about anyway? Sharing someones companionship, beliefs and dreams?

If she is not getting the attention she wants from you, she may start looking somewhere else. The most important thing you can do is find out how to include her in your life more. If that means giving up pool, then thats what you have to do. Right now, its all about her and what she is feeling. Pool will always be there.

legal notice
-- I am not a licensed psychologists. Any advise given is only an opinion and should taken as such. Any action is the responsibility of the party making the decision. The author is not liable for any divorce actions that may be taken! Good Luck!
 
Surly said:
Wow, I'm female and I'm totally on your side. She knew what she was getting into from the beginning - it's pretty unfair to start *****ing about it now.

The only solution I can come up with is decide which of your pool commitments is the least fun and cut that out... and on those night/times, spend time with her.

If you're very very lucky, that will make her happy.
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Good observation.;)
 
My Compromise

Background info:
My wife and I have been together for six years; dated for two years - married for four. We have no kids and three dogs. Two years ago, I just started playing pool again. I took ten years off and used to play 20+hours a week since I used to manage a pool hall/bar. My wife plays very rarely and would rather do something else then come out and watch.

My Challenge:
Every week, I travel for business Sun-Wed/Thurs or Mon-Fri. This only leaves two-three days to play in a tourney or spend time with my wife. I would love to play in a big tourney every weekend or hang out at a hall, but I love spending time with my wife since I’m out of town so much.

My Compromise:
I play on the road when I can, play BCA league as a spare on Thursday, play at home 2-3 hours a week, hit one major event a year like BCA(Vegas) or Reno Bar Box where I’m gone for the week, and hit 3-4 local tournaments a year within 100miles of home.

This is working for us. Yes, I would love to play more but this is a good balance. I hope you are able to find a balance that works for you and your wife.

Cheers, Mark
 
A longitudinal (life time) study of hundreds of the most intelligent people in the USA was conducted some years ago. When they were in their 60s and 70s these people who earned more money, wrote more books, ran more companies than their peers were asked, “What is it all about? How should one live their life?”

Almost to a person the answer went something like this. First you must be on good terms at home. When your home life is taken care of and you are on good terms with your family, you can do anything, become anyone and fully develop your potential.

So that is what some of the most highly intelligent and highly successful people had to say at the end of their lives.

When I read this long term study back in the early 1970s it changed my life. I have lived it and would recommed this perspective to anyone. It seems that even the highly intelligent people who considered themselves a failure looked back at what went wrong in their lives and came to the same conclusion. This is one of those issues that is much too important to one's life to simply let things happen.

People make mistakes and perhaps marry the wrong person. None-the-less the most important thing in one's life is having a family and being an integral part of that family for a good life. Everything else is secondary.

I suspect that successful, happy people who never marry are part of some type of family that provides the love and support we all need.
 
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Option No. 2:

Take a house cue and smack her on the noggin. Grab her by the hair and drag her to the pool hall. Then say, "Me player, you woman. Me hit 'em rock. You collect 'em bread"

...just a thought :embarrassed2::p:rolleyes:


--refer to legal notice in previous post!
 
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Travis3c said:
My wife is really about to walk out! I play in a league but told her i am not playing in one next season. I play league Monday and Wednsday. I also support my local 9 ball and 8 ball tourneys, they are on Thursday and Friday. I told her i would sacrifice the Thursday due to very little 9 ball players. I have my own pool table at the house that i use everyday and i play my money games on Saturdays and Sundays. I also do all the tip and ferrule repairs where i live. I know i spend alot of time dealing with pool/billiards and hold a 40hr work week for Lockheed. Has anyone been in my shoes. I really love my wife but i really love pool also. She doesnt like pool or watching me play or anything. 10 yrs ago she was right there at every tourney and every match. I just dont know what to do!
Click to expand...

Pure and simple - you spend too much time playing pool.

Pesonally, I only like league play once a week. I look forward to it. Twice a week becomes a chore. There is too much down time on weekend tournaments as you sit around and do nothing for 75% of the time. Money games are a more efficient use of your time. Once a month is all that I can stand.

You play Saturdays and Sundays. IMO, this is riduculous if you expect to have a married life. You must make a choice between pool playing time and your wife.
 
poolplayer2093 said:
i think the real question here is "will pool blow you"? that 1 question should really help you organize your thoughts on the matter!

if the answer is "no and neither with she". kick her to the curb and keep hittin 'em straight!
Click to expand...


I got my laugh of the day out of that one, thanks 2093!
 
I have carefully looked over your schedule . . .

could you maybe fill in Tuesdays with more action games??

Hu(married eight years, divorced a whole lot longer!)


Travis3c said:
My wife is really about to walk out! I play in a league but told her i am not playing in one next season. I play league Monday and Wednsday. I also support my local 9 ball and 8 ball tourneys, they are on Thursday and Friday. I told her i would sacrifice the Thursday due to very little 9 ball players. I have my own pool table at the house that i use everyday and i play my money games on Saturdays and Sundays. I also do all the tip and ferrule repairs where i live. I know i spend alot of time dealing with pool/billiards and hold a 40hr work week for Lockheed. Has anyone been in my shoes. I really love my wife but i really love pool also. She doesnt like pool or watching me play or anything. 10 yrs ago she was right there at every tourney and every match. I just dont know what to do!
Click to expand...
 
I really should thank God in heaven for the woman that calls herself my better half. We've been together 15, almost 16 years, now and we still spend every minute of our free time together like when we first started dating. I can't even enjoy myself going out without her. I guess I was lucky enough to find my missing piece in life.
MULLY
 
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