How do you deal with the "Negative Energy" of others?

[akaTrigger]

I just recently wrote about something similar in my blog. It wasn't negative energy. but a distraction nonetheless that took me completely out of my own game while I was dealing with a lady behind me who didn't know the rules of "not talking to players." I completely admit it was my own fault for letting her outbursts and emotions affect MY game.

I like some of Okinawa77's thoughts. Turn it into a positive. Difficult to do every time, but if we try to use these situations as tests or learning experiences, it will help us in the future.

I admit if I am mentally strong that day, I can overcome the distractions easier than on other days I'm not as mentally strong.

 

[Black-Balled]

Emotions can sometimes get the better of a person, that's for sure. Every now and then, after a missed shot, I'll shout out some vulgar expleptive regarding the ancestry of the cue ball. It's human nature and it happens to all of us.
How many of us has lain under an old car, an hour before we were to pick up our date, have a wrench slip and hear, "You no good dirty rat bastard!", pop out?
What I hope we don't do, in my opinion, is see a group of youngsters over at a table, whooping and hollering, and chastise them for simply being youngsters.

Good stuff! Live and let live...F**k those motherfu**ers!

 

[driz86]

I notice that when I'm playing really well I tend to focus on a distraction right before I get down on the shot. This helps me a lot to stay focused somehow, as I'm purposefully distracting myself then purposefully focusing my attention. I feel more in control.

 

[alstl]

Ignore idiots unless they are directing their idiocy at you.

 

[TATE]

One of the best players in the state whooped my ass, again, in a weekly tournament about a week ago. I'm handicapped the same as him. I beat my opponents by the same margins as him, or better. He's played perfect sets against me in more than 50 percent of the matches we've played. I'll come back to this to wrap up.

Here's my dilema:
I don't talk to my opponents. 49 out of 50 times, I don't slam the balls or throw my cue. I keep to myself, I nod or shake my head to give answers to questions asked during my matches. I've been told by other players, I appear to focus on the game than anyone else at the majority of the tournaments I play in.

This doesn't mean I'm not being distracted. Sometimes, I'll let my emotions get the best of me, but I try to behave as professionally as possible. I think I do it rather well. Even though my demeanor usually won't reveal my emotional state, it doesn't mean that I don't get distracted by the most undeserving things that happen in the pool room or bar I'm playing in.

When this happens, I beat myself. Like manifest destiny, I lose to the people I know I can beat (but others feel I shouldn't). Negative energy can come in so many varieties, shapes and forms. I know when I walk into a tournament, many times, the stronger players look at me and think "sure would be nice to get a bye the first round... but he'll do...". Some of those guys have no idea what I'm capable of because they've only seen me play horribly and fold under pressure against them and their peers. Sometimes the negative energy comes from the opponent. I can't help but notice certain players rolling their eyes, huffing and puffing, sighing, and "ugh-ing".

Here's the point. The player I mentioned in the first paragraph, who has never said anything to me in the past, basically told me to man-up in so many words and quit blaming anything related to my focus and concentration on anybody but myself. He's right. The only reason why I should lose to ANYBODY, is becuase I let them win. I can play with the best in the world. I've proved it in the past here and there, but I want to do it all the time.

The message was this. IF YOU'RE GOING TO BLAME SOMEONE OR SOMETHING. POINT THE FINGER AT YOURSELF.

Well, I forfeited a match to him because a friend of mine dropped a bunch of balls on the floor (no carpet) on the table next to me and immediately i thought, "HERE WE GO WITH THE DISTRACTIONS, LIKE THIS GUY I'M PLAYING NEEDS ANY MORE HELP!". Well, I missed the easiest shot following the distraction and forefeited the match becuase I knew I was mind-f'd". My opponent really leaned in to me and told me to get my head straight and quit looking for a reason to lose, or I'll never beat him! He's right.

The guy that talked to me about all of this, has scoleosis (sp?) and wakes up every day in pain. He decided a long time ago, if that won't be his scape-goat, nothing will. If he loses, its not going to be because he let his head get the best of him. He cashes, if not wins, every single week in the tournament. He plays his ass off against me. Because he says, "he has to". I believe, once I decide I'M GOING TO BEAT HIM (instead of looking for reasons to satisfy my subconscious thoughts of "he's better than me, and I can't win"), I'm going to beat him bad. And continue to beat him.

The way to deal with the negative vibes of others in the pool room, is to make the decision that WHEN YOU LOSE, IF YOU LOSE, YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELF TO BLAME.
Don't blame your lack of concentration and focus.
Don't blame the inconsiderate actions of others.
Blame yourself for not stepping out of your shot, walking around the table, evaluating the situation again, having a drink of your beverage, using the restroom, or doing whatever else it is that you can do to remove that distraction from your mind. MOST OF THE TIME WE GET DISTRACTED, I think a lot of us say to ourselves, "I'll SHOW THIS DISTRACTION WHO'S BOSS AND DRILL THIS SHOT", and when we miss it, we've got a great excuse for ourselves as to why it wasn't executed as planned.
Letting yourself get distracted, AND STAYING DISTRACTED, is the best scape-goat we can provide ourselves with.
I'll leave you all with this, THE ONLY TIME THE WORD EASY APPLIES TO POOL, IS WHEN YOU MAKE IT EASY FOR YOURSELF TO LOSE. Giving yourself an excuse, like a distraction, makes it real easy to lose.


I know this is long, but I hope it makes sense.

Wow, great post.

 

[TATE]

Hey Chris,

Thank you for your response.

I'm not really talking about dogging a particular shot although that can and does certainly happen. I'm talking more about a more general change in focus.

One might say, how can you still have fun and play good pool. I think your suggestions apply in either case, just wanted to clarify that I wasn't referring to being sharked on a particular shot.

I also find it extremely difficult to turn things around once the negative sets in, but I know it can be done. It's pretty much the same as all pressure situations - the players who focus more on their routine and the table and can block out distrations tend to really have an edge.

Chris

 

[JimS]

The source of the distraction is me.

It is my mind that has lost focus on the task at hand.

Always.

Once that is accepted then, and only then, do I have the power to refocus.

Sometimes focus is more difficult than others but focus is always my responsibility.

When I cannot focus it's time to stop playing.

 

[Mr Slate]

I learned early that distractions are always going to be there. If I wan't to acknowledge them and let them effect my game then that's all on me. When I'm shooting well and winning I've never blamed or used as an excuse, other peoples actions around the table. To do so when I'm not shooting well would be wrong of me.
Just a side note: I once played in a local bar league and one of the teams played out of a local "breast tavern". After going there and winning I learned that distractions are only a problem if you allow them to be. :wink:

 

[JoeW]

I have a couple of thoughts for you.

My initial reaction is that it is a free country. They have as much right to their silliness as I have for the the right to be quiet. So I need to be a little accepting – may not like it but that is life.

Second reaction, I spend quite a bit of time training my ability to concentrate and not be bothered by distractions. Maybe I can use this to help me with my training.

Third reaction, OK, these guys are a real pain in the ass. I will either quit playing for a little while or move to another table.

Fourth reaction, after this has now gone on several times that I have gone to this hall and I like the hall. I think I will try the Ipod thing to eliminate the distractions. If that doesn’t work I will find another place or another time to play.

The bottom line for me is they get to be jerks if they choose. I get to have peace and quiet if I choose. There are many options and I only need to find the one that pleases me.

Where I currently play there were some people who came into the hall the same time I did every night at 7:00 PM. They were distracting. After this had happened for three nights running I chose to change my time and starting coming in at 8:00 PM. Worked for me. But then I am retired now and can adjust my schedule to meet my own needs.

 

[Holly]

Put earbuds on, jack up the volume and ignore folks like that, both at the table and all areas of life. Used to not be that way when I was younger...have mellowed like fine mine with age

 

[NewStroke]

I cover them up with a blanket and beat them with the butt of my friends cue.

 

[manwon]

How do you deal with the "negative energy" others bring to the pool room?

Examples are people who slam balls into racks or curse loudly at the table next to you. Now they may not say anything to you directly or they might but nonetheless they are distracting you with their negativity.

I know many will suggest having better focus and stick to your pre-shot routines; however I'm talking about after they have already caught your attention and distracted you.

I'm looking forward to hearing your suggestions and experiences.

Return their negative energy with positive energy, nothing will piss them off more!!!!!

 

[Ponytail]

Rufus,

One of the things that I have learned about distractions is that you have to acknowledge them. You can't ignore them or they will eat you up. At least that's the case with me.

Also, if the distraction is my opponent, I deal with it immediately, fairly and firmly and I get louder if it is necessary but try to keep a lid on it. The only time the lid comes off is when they refuse to behave.

As to distractions that are not my opponent, each has their own response. Loud cackling females and loud bellowing males that aren't my opponent are acknowledged and I try to make sure that I smile. For example, if someone is being loud and laughing like their audience doesn't hear them unless they kick it up a notch, I realize that they are there to have a good time and while their idea of a good time is different than mine; they neverthelss have the right to enjoy themselves just like I do, but differently. Most of the time I can get a smile out of myself and basically accept the other person for what they are and for the most part, the distraction isn't as noticeable and often it simply disappears.

That's all I have for now.

I'm still a work in progress. :smile:

I have to go with Joey A on this....

Acknowledge the distraction, what ever it may be. It may be a good time to take a small sip of what ever you're drinking, wait for the distraction to pass, and then proceed. Or something similar to that.

Normally, when I'm distracted, the best thing for me to do is acknowledge it, and find some type of humor, or a pleasing thought in it. Then I smile, and wait for the distraction to finish. If interrupted a couple of times in a row, depending on my current state of mind, I'll excuse myself to the restroom, wash my hands, and come back fresh. (Reminds me of a scene from 'The Hustler' when Gleason freshens up, and is ready for more pool)

If you don't acknowledge the distraction, and then let it go, it will not go away on it's own. Then, after the fact, you'll be distracting yourself by stressing over the distraction that caused you to miss a shot, when it was you that took the shot while you were distracted. (boy that last sentence had some turns.. didn't it.)

This is not to say you'll be successful on never being distracted. But, this may help in dealing with those distractions, and then letting them go, no harm done.