Really? I guess I'm just not familiar with the alternate universe you're living in.
(The scene is any large pool tournament -- think DCC. They have just announced the winner of the cue raffle for a very nice custom cue, donated by a well known cue maker.)
Jay: Uh, hi. Are you the guy running the raffle for the cue?
Raffle Guy: Yes, I am.
Jay: Well, I won. I've got the winning ticket right here.
Raffle Guy: Oh, great! Well here it is. Enjoy!
Jay: No, no, no. I want it sent to me. Delivered.
Raffle Guy: Well. Sure. I guess we can do that. Of course you'll have to pay for that.
Jay: No. That was part of the raffle deal -- most contests of any kind (raffle or otherwise) work this way (contrary to what some people may think). Prizes are delivered!
Raffle Guy: Well, not here. In fact, I don't think we've ever implied we'd mail the cue out, much less ever been asked to or done that.
Jay: Are you kidding me?! I won a Murray pool table once. They called me the next day and asked for my address. It was delivered later that week. That is how a legitimate raffle is run. One time, at Band Camp, a buddy of mine won a Mercedes. And he got it delivered to Los Angeles!
Raffle Guy: Look, I'm really happy for your buddy -- but I've been raffling cues and cases for years -- we have *never* said we'd deliver it.
Jay: Well that's just specious. Everybody delivers raffle prizes. And I want this cue sent to me via UPS. You will be responsible for holding it until it gets to UPS -- you will be responsible for ensuring it's safety and good condition until it gets into the UPS system. And then you're going to find bubble wrap, a mailing tube, and send it UPS. Here's my address. (Jay provides address somewhere in Never Never Land.)
Raffle Guy: Is that it?
Jay: No. I want it insured for $8000. All together, it shouldn't cost you more than $80.
Raffle Guy: OK. No problem. You just sit tight until the cue gets to you
(Fade out to Jay waiting by his front door in Never Never Land, six months later, with no cue in sight.)
Lou Figueroa