OH NO...Wife is Not Happy with Pool...Help!
- Thread starter BasementDweller
- Start date
Geewhiz Dorabelle. I was reading your post and was feeling very touched by your sweatness and then POW...DIVORCE...
Pool is important too. I'm not married but if I was and found out how much fun pool was after I got hitched, nothing would stop me from playing. Id do what the OP is doing, play on my table at home and go to a few weekly tournaments. He is being totally realistic.
All I can say Dora is you are not as sweat as you are trying to be in that photo....you are like a wild mountain cat. Agile and graceful but very unpredictable and will strike on a moments notice.
Hnut, did you just call me a cougar?
I think Dorabelle is on the right track.
Everybody is right in stressing that it's important to put a priority on a relationship. What I don't agree with and what Basementdweller has touched on is putting everything into the relationship at the expense of everything else.
Where does it stop, first it's pool, are all his friends next? Don't laugh, there are controlling men and women out there that insist on these types of things from their partners.
People need their passions. It's what makes us grow as people. If a partner won't allow this kind of thing then does she/he have your best interest in mind? If not, Dorabelle is right.
It's time for divorce.
Relationships are important, but not at the expense of a lifetime of personal happiness.
Just my $.02
Everybody is right in stressing that it's important to put a priority on a relationship. What I don't agree with and what Basementdweller has touched on is putting everything into the relationship at the expense of everything else.
Where does it stop, first it's pool, are all his friends next? Don't laugh, there are controlling men and women out there that insist on these types of things from their partners.
People need their passions. It's what makes us grow as people. If a partner won't allow this kind of thing then does she/he have your best interest in mind? If not, Dorabelle is right.
It's time for divorce.
Relationships are important, but not at the expense of a lifetime of personal happiness.
Just my $.02
Pool over family is a tuff sell, IMO.
Black-Balled, it's not pool over family. It's the husband giving up something (pool) that gives him happiness in order to please the wife. It appears to be one sided that the wife wants things her way at the expense of her husbands happiness. That isn't a healthy relationship to give up who you are to completely do another's bidding. Sounds like slavery to me. If he has no freedom in his life, then what life does he really have?
It sounds like something deeper is troubling his wife, as Fran suggested. Communication and compromise are the keys in my opinion. When it's all one sided, the future is bleak.
It sounds like something deeper is troubling his wife, as Fran suggested. Communication and compromise are the keys in my opinion. When it's all one sided, the future is bleak.
This is a good point and I agree. Get down to the bottom of why she is unhappy about it.
I had assumed that she wanted you to pay more attention to her and the children, or wanted help or time off, but it certainly could be a lot of other things.
Chris
Lighten Up Already!!!
Good grief guys -- it's not the end of the world. I have a very strong marriage and I love my family to death. Like I mentioned before - this is just a minor speed bump. My wife would never expect me to quit playing altogether.
I thought this thread would be good for everybody. This game can be very addicting and it's sometimes important to be reminded of what's really important in life. Of course family is more important than pool. However, pool is important to me -- it's not just a game for me anymore.
Now carry on.
Good grief guys -- it's not the end of the world. I have a very strong marriage and I love my family to death. Like I mentioned before - this is just a minor speed bump. My wife would never expect me to quit playing altogether.
I thought this thread would be good for everybody. This game can be very addicting and it's sometimes important to be reminded of what's really important in life. Of course family is more important than pool. However, pool is important to me -- it's not just a game for me anymore.
Now carry on.
Chris
Its like any conflict, we always think the other party s thinking what we would be thinking. Everybody thinks a little different and that's what makes the world go round. What stands between guesswork, assumption and regret is communication. The best time to ask when everyone is happy and calm. "Figuring stuff out" during an argument is a waste of time.
Kevin
kybill9
Banned
You don't have to be destitute or lonely to be a good pool player, but you do need talent.
kybill9
Banned
First MISTAKE. Don't ever marry you MOTHER.
I"m a grown man, and don't need to ask anyones permission to play pool, softball or go to a poker game, buy a cue, go grab a beer with a buddy... Just the way it was when I met her and has not changed. And I don't take kindly to "orders"....
I told her I'm not going to marry my MOTHER and I"m hoping she didn't want to marry a boy either. I find it ridiculous that someone even has to ask permission. The only thing I do is check the calander of my son's events cause I don't wanna miss those for pool or softball or poker.
If I wanna go to Vegas, the only thing I ask is can she find me the cheapest flight. And she has the exact same option. She wants to go out with the girls, then she can go anytime.... she knows what days I play pool and softball
At 50 I'm slowing down and only play pool once a week now. But, I still don't miss my son's events ever but it is my choice cause I enjoy it more
Life is way too short my friend.....
It's nice to know fascism is still alive in your household.
I have not read all the responses but...So this advice ( I hope) you have already gotten. You said you have been married for 11 years...so you have to be in your 30's (maybe older), got three kids...so your putting food on the table and a roof over their heads. You said you play at home and now trying to play competition outside the basement AND the "Mrs." (YOURS) is giving you "flak" about it...."is that the problem in a nutshell"?. UNLESS there is more to this story (problem) that you are not telling us...such as you get "stinking drunk" when your out playing or your a "bad gambler" and loose your paycheck at the local poolroom every time you walk in the place...then "son" it is time to get a "pair" (BALLS that is). My Lord "this" is the problem with America. Do you think it is going to get ANY BETTER the older you get? This time it is "pool". Next it will be what "you" want to watch on TV. Finally it will be "she" does not like that shirt, pants, jacket etc.. You may have "3" kids BUT..."she" has four (counting you). So unless "she" is not replaceable (i.e. Miss December in Playboy OR can suck a golf ball THROUGH a garden hose) then PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN (as a grown man) and tell her (Don't ask) what your doing.....I will leave you with this thought. "Who was the smartest man in the last 100 years"? (Most people answer Einstein). "Do YOU know Einstein was DIVORCED"????? Therefor "Do you think your smarter than Einstein"?????
Definitely not smarter then that there Einstein fella, but it's possible I take my marital vows more seriously than he did (don't know the story). Look - I have my wife's respect as the head of our household. Having said that, when a wife respects their man, rarely does that man have to "put their foot down" as you say. I would agree that if you find yourself in a relationship were you constantly have to "put your foot down" than you may have some serious problems.
Again
Family is more important than Pool, and spending quality time with your wife and kids, but some women have a quiet way about them to emasculate a man in a relationship, and then after they do that to their man, they don't want them anymore, or they put the proverbial, 'You've changed' phrase out there.
Fact is, your loaded with family, and Pool has to be kept on the backburner. If you're wife doesn't like to play too, you are constantly going to have an issue over how much you can play. It's how you deal with that that will make the difference.
Family is more important than Pool, and spending quality time with your wife and kids, but some women have a quiet way about them to emasculate a man in a relationship, and then after they do that to their man, they don't want them anymore, or they put the proverbial, 'You've changed' phrase out there.
Fact is, your loaded with family, and Pool has to be kept on the backburner. If you're wife doesn't like to play too, you are constantly going to have an issue over how much you can play. It's how you deal with that that will make the difference.
Nice to know your still a moron for even trying to turn this into one of your liberal rants that you have to mention "fascism".
I'm not going to apologize on how I want to be treated and then I treat my wife the exact same way. She does NOT need to ask my permission to go out with her friends , go to Vegas, or buy clothes, purses, jewelery, etc. We are both reasonable and know not to over do it with purchases and we can police ourselves without any government interference
Got married in 1990, and not one break up, not one I'm leaving you, not one domestic situation, not one storming out of the house and not one demand to stop doing something they love, yeah, maybe a handful of arguments over 20 years that revolved around her "mother", but other than that peacefull as hell.
And middle aged woman wonder why their husband leave them !! It's due to not enough sex from her or they are too controlling. And my divorced buddies can attest to both !! Which is funny, cause when they start dating again, do they think they won't have to put out ?? My wives divorced friends are clueless too. Her last friend, her husband never picked up a baseball bat, pool cue or drank a beer at a bar for 10 freaking years. Then he just left and never came back. The last rumor is he ran off with the local waitress where they use to eat every Friday night..... too funny.
Last edited:
All I was saying "dweller"...You have a "hobby", that you like. You sound like a decent family man. "WHY" (TF) would your wife not want you to enjoy yourself...as long as it does not infringe on your other obligations? "IF" your married to a girl who thinks you can ONLY be "happy" in her presence....well that is the thing that is the problem. BECAUSE!!!! you have a hobby that does NOT require her to be around AND!!!! it sounds like it "bugs" her. Is her thought process..."how could he be happy when he is NOT with me"? OMG
I didn't say pool over family. You can have family as your top priority and still be divorced. You can still spend as much time with your kids as possible and still have a life.
If you think you have to hold a family together no matter what, I guess you never met my ex-wife.
Last edited: