pool's greatest one liners & quotes

Keith McCready at the Chico Club in San Diego talking on the phone, "I almost got the fish in the boat".
 
SJDinPHX said:
Slim and I are sweating a match in the bleachers at the Stardust (70's)
RA siddles up to Slim and opens up his "pre-bite" conversation. Slim say's
" I know where this is headed, let me save you the trouble, I'm tapped out"
Ronnie gives him a pained, insulted look and says "You think the only time I come to you is when I need money"? Slim, a man of few words simply said....."Yep". RA wanders off to seek greener pastures, and Slim leans over to me and says, " If that kid ever pays me back what he owes me, I would be able to retire...the NATIONAL DEBT"! Whereupon he walked over to Ronnie and slipped him a C-note.

Dick

Ronnie calledd me on the 23rd of Decmeber about 3-4 years ago to wish merry Christmas and all that and you just know that there is more to it.
He is talking rather funny and i ask him where he is he Weadding. I say Weading? and he says heah, weading Calipornia. I say, oh, Reading California. Yeah hesays, that's what I said.
I ask him why he is talking so funny and he says he caught a cold and was driving down the interstate, spit out the window and spit his teeth out. I'm telling ya I just can't catch a roll he says and I cut in on him right there and say to him, "Ronnie you used this same story on me about 6 months ago".
Ronnie simply says, I did?, well Siittt, Merry Christmas and he hung up.
Ronnie is one of the greatest bite artists of all time.
 
The exact line

the420trooper said:
What about the story of the game between Ronnie Allen and Cornbread Red?
They played two nights in a row, the first night, Ronnie's backers slipped Red the proverbial Mickey.

Cornbread lost a lot of money, but came back the next night ready for revenge. Whatever was slipped into Ronnie's drink that night caused him to black out and fall to the ground, seizing and foaming at the mouth.

Cornbread walked over to Ronnie, kicked him in the ribs and said in his Southern drawl, "Yo shot, Mother@$^%er." Priceless.:D


The exact line after he kicked RA was, "Get up Muthafu****, it's yo' shot!"

the Beard
 
Puckett

muttley76 said:
I once watched two guys playing some one-hole, when one was jacked up over the stack, and touched one of the balls. His opponent said "foul", and an argument ensued over whether they were playing all ball fouls or cue ball fouls only. After 5 heated minutes, the guy who called the foul said "you know the @$#$^ rules, you owe a ball!". The shooter says"I owe a ball, huh?", and proceeds to put his cue on the table, raking every ball to his hole, and says, "fine, I owe two."

That was UJ Puckett at Johnston City. The referee called foul after Puck touched an object ball. Naturally he had to forfeit the game.

the Beard
 
Freddie to his opponent after he moves two balls in front of his hole and hides the cue ball in the pack, "Your shot".

Another Freddie, after he escapes a total trap and moves a ball in front of his pocket, "How do you like them apples?"

Keith after making three balls on the break, "The table sprung a leak!"
 
Florida's Ray Booth

Ray Booth was hanging around at the Le Cue in Houston where Lefty Cannonball Chapman was playing great 9ball and crushing every rack with a 26oz break cue.
Ray said, "When I die, I wanna lay my head on the spot and let Cannonball break the balls!"

the Beard
 
Fats

Fats has to be one of the great ones of all times - Fats going to play Cornbread Red in Detriot, when I get finished with him they will call him Nobread Red
 
"I used to work in a picture frame factory, you know making picture frames. It was the worst 7 months of my life." Jon Tedder

"Tedder I got a picture that'll make you quite Bi#$in about playin pool everyday. Its me in a ditch, in a bout 95 degrees tryin to make a living." Unknown genius.
 
Some unknown guy tries to hustle Ignacio "mexican" Chavez

unknown : I know you play 9ball real good so tell you what. I'll play you a set of 9ball and you play me 20pts 3-cushion. You know i dont have a lot of time so lets play 3-cushion first.

30mins later Chavez destroys the guy.

Chavez looking at his watch: Hey we still got some time lets play another!
 
JAM said:
Hey, Mully, as an aside, I don't know why I always sign all of my posts with JAM, since we have avatars on the left with our names. I noticed that you do too. Maybe it is just a forum posting habit, but I'm thinking about not doing it anymore. :o

People have said something to me about that in the past but to be honest, I was taught to sign a letter when I write it and, in my opinion, posting on a forum is no different than writing a letter. It's just good manners to sign your name.
MULLY
hope you'll start signing again:grin:
 
Tang Hoa after playing five days and winning $500 in a tournament, "I play for minimum wage."

Tang after he is told he must play back at 11AM after finishing a match at 1AM, "What? That's unnecessary roughness."
 
one buddy says to another buddy "Dude your so unlucky you could walk outside in a hailstorm of pu&&y and get hit in the face with a d!ck
 
"Are you taking Morphine?, <no> Well then your OK!!!" Me talking to my friend the other night on the way to the pool room.
 
Similar Story

muttley76 said:
I once watched two guys playing some one-hole, when one was jacked up over the stack, and touched one of the balls. His opponent said "foul", and an argument ensued over whether they were playing all ball fouls or cue ball fouls only. After 5 heated minutes, the guy who called the foul said "you know the @$#$^ rules, you owe a ball!". The shooter says"I owe a ball, huh?", and proceeds to put his cue on the table, raking every ball to his hole, and says, "fine, I owe two."

I didn't witness this but heard it many times. It was late 60's or early 70's
that this incident occured. UJ Puckett was playing straight pool at the Stardust Hotel, in a straight pool match where the Jockey ( Norman Howard )was refereeing.I don't recall who UJ was playing but he just had run like 90 balls against him and was a few balls short of winning,he finally missed and Puckett stepped to the table to begin his inning.For those of us that know Puckett can appreciate this ending more than others,but nevertheless it was ludicrous. Puckett really didn't like straight pool,and he certainly didn't like some New Yorker keeping him in his chair for eternity (he felt) defenseless. So when he finally had an opportunity to shoot,you could see volcanic ash running from his nose.He began stroking the ball when the Jockey hollered FOUL. Puckett's shirt cuff lightly touched an object ball.Puckett refused to acknowledge the called foul and continued to stroke the ball. The Jockey then said that's a foul Puckett, UJ got up from the shot and looked the Jockey in the eye's and said,son that's no foul, THIS IS A FOUL, and raked about 11 balls ,all against the side rail.
 
wincardona said:
I didn't witness this but heard it many times. It was late 60's or early 70's
that this incident occured. UJ Puckett was playing straight pool at the Stardust Hotel, in a straight pool match where the Jockey ( Norman Howard )was refereeing.I don't recall who UJ was playing but he just had run like 90 balls against him and was a few balls short of winning,he finally missed and Puckett stepped to the table to begin his inning.For those of us that know Puckett can appreciate this ending more than others,but nevertheless it was ludicrous. Puckett really didn't like straight pool,and he certainly didn't like some New Yorker keeping him in his chair for eternity (he felt) defenseless. So when he finally had an opportunity to shoot,you could see volcanic ash running from his nose.He began stroking the ball when the Jockey hollered FOUL. Puckett's shirt cuff lightly touched an object ball.Puckett refused to acknowledge the called foul and continued to stroke the ball. The Jockey then said that's a foul Puckett, UJ got up from the shot and looked the Jockey in the eye's and said,son that's no foul, THIS IS A FOUL, and raked about 11 balls ,all against the side rail.

I've seen UJ Puckett play on those old ESPN classic matches - obviously far past his prime. What kind of player was he? 14.1 / 9ball / 1P? Who can you compare his game to more recently (to give me a better idea)?

Thanks-
Dave
 
SpiderWebComm said:
I've seen UJ Puckett play on those old ESPN classic matches - obviously far past his prime. What kind of player was he? 14.1 / 9ball / 1P? Who can you compare his game to more recently (to give me a better idea)?

Thanks-
Dave
he played 9 ball and one pocket, very soft touch for a big big guy. great break playing nine ball ,was the texas state champ several times . he played 8 to 7 below the best one pocket players, maybe the best hustler ever .60 minutes did a interesting piece on him.
ps: no 14.1 in texas.
he couldn't beat fats.
 
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