pool's greatest one liners & quotes

Back in the early '70's I was playing an older fellow in a bar. At the time I had hair down to the middle of my back and wore tie-dyed shirts, bellbottoms etc. We were playing 9 ball and I was doing pretty good. The guy played a particularly brutal safe and as he walked by me he said in a loud voice "Smoke that Hippie!"

Lunchmoney
 
I heard keith mccready say one time, after listening to some other guy brag about how much money he has, that he has borrowed more money than that guy would ever see....LOL!!!
 
Well...since this is MY line, the exact quote is...

"Want to know why you missed that shot? Because there's NO pocket there (with me pointing to the point on the rail where the OB hit)!"

I use it ALL the time, and it always gets a laugh!:D

Scott Lee
www.poolknowledge.com

iba7467 said:
"The problem was there wasn't a pocket where you shot that ball"
Click to expand...
 
Scott Lee said:
Well...since this is MY line, the exact quote is...

"Want to know why you missed that shot? Because there's NO pocket there (with me pointing to the point on the rail where the OB hit)!"

I use it ALL the time, and it always gets a laugh!:D

Scott Lee
www.poolknowledge.com
Click to expand...

Yeah, I have a few similar to this that I use. If I really miss a ball, like really miss the pocket by a good 6 inches or more, I stand up and say "Damn, these pockets are tight."

If my opponent misses like that I'll say something like "That would have been a helluva shot if there was a pocket there."

Then there is the ball that rattles the pocket a few times and then drops in. I usually call that a "3 cushion shot"..........I think DiLiberto used that on an Accu-Stats tape.

And the ball that rattles the jaw and slowly works its way back and finally, after what seems like a lifetime, falls in, I call that an "instant replay"

2 weeks ago when Rodney Morris was here I played 2 rail position from the 2 to the 3 and I hit it a bit too hard and hooked myself. I was jacking up on the CB to curve around the blocking ball and my stroke got away from me and I just nudged the cue ball and it rolled about 6 inches.....Rodney stood up and when he walked past me he said "Push out?" I damn near pissed myself laughing.
MULLY
 
What Bucktooth Said To Efren At The Sands Years Ago...????

Bucktooth was woofing at Efren at the Sands Hotel in Reno many years ago trying to match up. Bucktooth told Efren you came to this country in a Jet if you play me I'm going to send you Home in a canoe.....
 
Two old guys that i play one hole with are playing each other. (Sarge & Charlie)

Charlie is getting all the rolls & can't do anything wrong. Sarge says "damn charlie, you're playin too good today". Charlie just replies "if you want somthin soft, hold out your hand & i'll shit in it"

I thought i was going to piss myself, i was laughing so hard.
 
Ok, i just remembered another.

Me and this guy i used to play with walk into the poolhall, get a rack of balls & head over to our table.

It looked like sombody had been playing for a week straight on the table & using baby powder between every shot.

My friend just says "damn, who gang-raped the pillsbury dough boy??"
 
This guy rick was playing a set with mark... so rick lost the set and mark asked for the money... and rick said i don't have any money... so mark said why did you play for money if you dont have any money... and rick said... well i thought i was gonna win. lol! I love it!
 
air barreled

donny mills said:
This guy rick was playing a set with mark... so rick lost the set and mark asked for the money... and rick said i don't have any money... so mark said why did you play for money if you dont have any money... and rick said... well i thought i was gonna win. lol! I love it!
Click to expand...

A little off topic for this thread but your post reminds me, I had a friend I let play on air every night for about six months. I knew he was broke when I came in every evening so I would play and lose a few cheap games to him. Saved him borrowing what he wasn't going to pay back and it wasn't all generosity. With a little start he would do OK for himself for the evening and once or twice a week I would get in a late night game or three with him and collect my "loans" with interest!

Hu
 
I overheard this years ago in Miami. One guy had just lost thousands to a another in a proposition game that got out of hand. "Pay me the two grand you owe me and I'll pay you the three."
 
here's one i liked

Back in the early eighties at a tournament at th Maverick Club in Richmond KY. Mike Sigel is playing and is whining about not playing up to speed. After repeating several times that this was not the play of the real Mike Sigel some guy in the audience says " yeah Mike, the real Mike Sigel could give you the
6".
 
Funny you should mention 60 min. and UJ Puckett

[Originally Posted by SpiderWebComm
I've seen UJ Puckett play on those old ESPN classic matches - obviously far past his prime. What kind of player was he? 14.1 / 9ball / 1P? Who can you compare his game to more recently (to give me a better idea)?

Thanks-Dave

QUOTE=androd]he played 9 ball and one pocket, very soft touch for a big big guy. great break playing nine ball ,was the texas state champ several times . he played 8 to 7 below the best one pocket players, maybe the best hustler ever .60 minutes did a interesting piece on him.
ps: no 14.1 in texas.
he couldn't beat fats.[/QUOTE]

I have acquired a good copy of the interview Harry Reasoner had with the great Texas hustler, U J Puckett from Ed Tarbutton of Dallas. It's on one of my blogs. It contains probably the only images of Mexican Johnny and Bananas Rodriguez on film.
http://secretsofahardcorepoolhustler.blogspot.com/

Take a look and fu@##!! buy sumptin, for crisakes.

the Beard
 
Two guys I know are woofing trying to find the right game. So they are both braggin about how much money they have and if you want some of it you will have to play me the way I want.

So it gets really loud the whole pool room is looking, they are yelling about who has more money, a nicer car a better crib. Meanwhile we all know this one guy has everything he owns in his front right pocket. Finally, the other guy had enough and he said "f -k pool I will bet you 500 if we go to your place right now your momma is sleeping there". The whole room broke out laughing.
 
Beard:

That was REALLY entertaining. That was a side of him I never saw (I'm only 31 so any info on that guy is hard to come by).

Thanks a lot Beard--- much appreciated!!

Dave

P.S. I bought something already....Banking w/ the Beard and Gospool at DCC ;-)
 
There was a guy that laid out four balls in a very tough scenario to "get out" from. He asked Nick Varner how, if his life depended on it, would he run those balls.

"Life depends on it? Can I get Earl to shoot'em for me?"
 
Over heard at DCC just after the game started to turn.
"Oh lord its no fun now that the rabbits got the gun"
 
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thanks

freddy the beard said:
[Originally Posted by SpiderWebComm
I've seen UJ Puckett play on those old ESPN classic matches - obviously far past his prime. What kind of player was he? 14.1 / 9ball / 1P? Who can you compare his game to more recently (to give me a better idea)?

Thanks-Dave

QUOTE=androd]he played 9 ball and one pocket, very soft touch for a big big guy. great break playing nine ball ,was the texas state champ several times . he played 8 to 7 below the best one pocket players, maybe the best hustler ever .60 minutes did a interesting piece on him.
ps: no 14.1 in texas.
he couldn't beat fats.
Click to expand...

I have acquired a good copy of the interview Harry Reasoner had with the great Texas hustler, U J Puckett from Ed Tarbutton of Dallas. It's on one of my blogs. It contains probably the only images of Mexican Johnny and Bananas Rodriguez on film.
http://secretsofahardcorepoolhustler.blogspot.com/

Take a look and fu@##!! buy sumptin, for crisakes.

the Beard[/QUOTE]
They say that you never know what you got untill it's gone.Freddie thanks for bringing back something special,even if it was just for the briefest of time.Puckett was truly one funny man with a lot of character.
 
freddy the beard said:
[Originally Posted by SpiderWebComm
I've seen UJ Puckett play on those old ESPN classic matches - obviously far past his prime. What kind of player was he? 14.1 / 9ball / 1P? Who can you compare his game to more recently (to give me a better idea)?

Thanks-Dave

QUOTE=androd]he played 9 ball and one pocket, very soft touch for a big big guy. great break playing nine ball ,was the texas state champ several times . he played 8 to 7 below the best one pocket players, maybe the best hustler ever .60 minutes did a interesting piece on him.
ps: no 14.1 in texas.
he couldn't beat fats.
Click to expand...

I have acquired a good copy of the interview Harry Reasoner had with the great Texas hustler, U J Puckett from Ed Tarbutton of Dallas. It's on one of my blogs. It contains probably the only images of Mexican Johnny and Bananas Rodriguez on film.
http://secretsofahardcorepoolhustler.blogspot.com/

Take a look and fu@##!! buy sumptin, for crisakes.

the Beard[/QUOTE]

There was a One Pocket game that Puckett was famous for. "One And Stop" One Pocket. That means you can only make one ball and your turn is over. He would play anybody that game. Takes a pretty smart player to win at that game. And U.J. had it down.
 
Heard this last night at leagues:

"Pockets are tighter then a Bull's ass**** during fly season" LMAO, laughing as I type. To funny.
 
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