pool's greatest one liners & quotes

[shavedaccord]

Just remembered a few more..

Playing a guy one Sunday after league for $75, 8ball, bank one of your 7 & 3 rails or better on the 8. I bobbled the 8 on a 5 rail bank and he says

"Banks ain't open on Sundays son!"

Playing one of my league buddies in a game of 1-15, bank 8 last pocket. I fail to contact a rail after a horrible shot.

I say to him "ball in hand Les"

He says "Really now, ball in hand?"

He then proceeds to pick up the cue ball, walk to the corner by the 8 ball, hold the cue ball in the palm of his hand. Cues up with one hand and smacks the cue ball out of his palm, banking the 8 into his last pocket (oppisite corner)

 

[Cannonball55]

I love this thread!
And I kid you not!


.

thanx man, i appreciate u guys keeping it alive. I don't meant to brag but this may be my best thread on AZ so far

 

[Johnnyt]

Buddy Hall about me. "He'd be almost unbeatable on a bar box if he wouldn't start celebrating before the set was over." Johnnyt

 

[jersey jer]

after watchin the guy im playin run out on me after i break dry i say " nice out, you hit 'em pretty good, by the way where ya from?" deadpan face and southern drawl he looks at me says

"Im from (forgot the twn name) East Bumbleshiit Tennessee, aint nuttin to do there but shoot pool or F@##CK sheep. AND I AINT INTA F@#KING SHEEP!"

 

[SmoothStroke]

If you don't get out from here you're cheatin

 

[cowboyup200560]

Sitting in the pool hall onday taking a little side action on a couple of my friends. They are playing 9-ball race to 5 i think for 100 but i cant remember. Anyway its hill-hill player breaks and comes up dry. Other player is faced with a very tricky 3-rail kick on the one just to get a hit. He shots and just barely nicks the 1 into the bottom cushion but carries enough speed to go aroung for a safe. On its way around the table the QB contacts the 6 then kicks the 9 into the top corner pocket.

the breaker jumps up and says WTF????? And the other guy just looks at him plain dead in the face and says "You didnt see that shot it was OBVIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!" lamo now it gets said anytime one of us slops anything LOL

 

[BryanMordt]

I was playing Danny DiLiberto once and choose to shoot a shot lefty.

He remarked "I didn't know you were amphibious."

I have always liked that one for some reason.

 

[androd]

My favorite line when someone asked me for a spot, "Spot went home."

i can't remember the players name, someone ask him for a spot, he said "spots dead the last time he got in the street, somebody ran over him."

 

[softshot]

I'm gonna blow you so far out of the water.. you'r going to need a plane ticket just to get back to the beach....

Drunk guy tonite...

It made me laugh..:thumbup:

 

[caponekid]

quotes

Backer to another backer-
"You're gonna take that boy on the road? The only road I would take him on is down a dirt road and shoot em!"

Friend's grandad
"I'm gonna be on you so hard, you're gonna say, yall get off me!"

 

[tom mcgonagle]

Ronnie Wright, since deceased, an old friend of mine went home to his house after blowing his paycheck at the pool room. He said to hios wife, "Honey I lost the paycheck. Without hesitation she informed him, "You better go find it!"

 

[ShootingArts]

calling the hogs

I haven't posted this because it is the kind of thing you would really have to be there. Most of the time if Bobby was somewhere, the whole place knew he was there. He was a genuine country boy and could call a hog out of a creek bottom a mile away. What I am trying to say is Bobby had volume.

When he would shoot a long bank at pocket speed or a multi-rail bank particularly on the money ball it wasn't unusual for him to call the ball home.

Sooooo-weeeyy! Get in there Ball! at the top of his voice. It was so natural for him that few bothered to complain. That wasn't a great line but it was certainly an attention getter!

Hu

 

[ShootingRazbone]

I had a backer that was a really good friend and could play as good as I could at the time....funny guy he was.

I was in a ahead match with a guy. I was brutalizing him completely but just couldnt finish him off on the final game. My backer pulled me aside and said, "Look at this guy man, hes on the morphine drip.....now get him and lets get out of here!" Thats all it took, and I never forgot that lol.

Another time I was playing like I was on the morphine drip and he told me "Man you can't play dead in a western!" I know he didnt make that up himself but it was hilarious anyways...Jimmy Roach was his name.

 

[007]

...Minnesota Fat's (Rudolph Wanderone) epitaph on his tombstone reads, his last words going out, so to speak, are: "Beat everybody living on Earth. Now, St. Peter, rack 'em up."

Actually, the epitaph on his tombstone reads: "Beat every living creature on Earth. 'St. Peter, rack 'em up. ? Fats'".

Another line from him: "You judge a king by the size of his wallet and his palace. You can leave the crown in the toilet."

 

[wood600rr]

Funny quote I heard today:
"I'm the best player in the country....in the city I'm not so good, but in the country I'm the best!"

 

[stevea]

I saw someone miss ball in hand (i would never think this guy would ever miss anything so easy), he then turned and said "I had a funny angle"

 

[dsmith8ball]

Can I bring this thread back to life?

Years ago one of the better local players, Chad M., was fixing to play a mediocre player early in a 9ball tournament. The player lays his cue case on the table and it has a rabbit's foot keychain hanging from it. Chad says "You better go get the rest of that rabbit!"

"He could piss in a swinging coke bottle!" Randy D.

 

[Straightpool_99]

................

 

[Aimlow]

Common saying in pool room when I was a kid, Your ass sucks buttermilk- never really knew what it meant.

 

[Lbkcuekid]

Hawaii Phil- "Thats a great shot...........if you don't like money" He told me this when we were playing one pocket