Post your favorite pool quotes...
- Thread starter yally
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Some of the very funniest lines have been uttered by "The Professor" himself, Grady Mathews....
* "He scrutinized the multi colored spheres longer than the time I took to select my 2nd wife."
* "I'll give him a 1 way ticket to anywhere in the world, provided he stay a year."
*"What a splendid speciman of womankind."
*"That cue looks like an 8th grade woodshop project, with a D grade to boot."
*"That's his power break, which won't hurt our ears."
* "He scrutinized the multi colored spheres longer than the time I took to select my 2nd wife."
* "I'll give him a 1 way ticket to anywhere in the world, provided he stay a year."
*"What a splendid speciman of womankind."
*"That cue looks like an 8th grade woodshop project, with a D grade to boot."
*"That's his power break, which won't hurt our ears."
Banger : "Wow, how did you shoot that shot?"
Hustler : "Listen kid, we're playin for 20 dollars. Lessons are extra."
Hustler : "Listen kid, we're playin for 20 dollars. Lessons are extra."
When I miss a shot big time "I hope I don't miss heaven that far!"
I Dont Choke I Just Miss
I am stealing this from someone else on the board but it is so fricken money that if I began to understand what I was talking about my head would explode.
Lassiter playing someone. It is a tough layout perhaps the shooter is on the 4, lassiter knocks the balls, concedes the rack, and says' if you can't get out from here, you have no chance of beating me.
Lassiter playing someone. It is a tough layout perhaps the shooter is on the 4, lassiter knocks the balls, concedes the rack, and says' if you can't get out from here, you have no chance of beating me.
Once said to a (girl) friend when we arrived at the pool hall.
Hey, while I get my stick out can you grab the balls?
Hey, while I get my stick out can you grab the balls?
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I've never lost a set , only had 'em end before I was done setting him up for the big take . . . dang light weights.
I made this one up
It just kinda fell out of my mouth the other night
after I lost a match in APA to a guy who fully took
advantage of the piss shots count rule .I said
"I got more bad rolls in that match than that big
girl I was with in the back of a LTD in 1985"
If no one else thinks its funny I did get a few
laughs from my team.
It just kinda fell out of my mouth the other night
after I lost a match in APA to a guy who fully took
advantage of the piss shots count rule .I said
"I got more bad rolls in that match than that big
girl I was with in the back of a LTD in 1985"
If no one else thinks its funny I did get a few
laughs from my team.
McKinney Miner will get a kick out of this one...
About 20 years ago El Paso players Jerry Cordova and Kenny Snow are playing 9 ball notched hill-hill in a tournament and Jerry breaks the balls - a ball jars one of the pockets and Jerry comes up dry... Jerry shakes his in disbelief
Jerry: Did you see that?
Kenny: I sure did. (Shrugs)
Jerry: (Looks at Kenny...raises his eyebrows and gives an evil $hit-eating grin) That damn corner pocket's tighter than your little sister!
About 20 years ago El Paso players Jerry Cordova and Kenny Snow are playing 9 ball notched hill-hill in a tournament and Jerry breaks the balls - a ball jars one of the pockets and Jerry comes up dry... Jerry shakes his in disbelief
Jerry: Did you see that?
Kenny: I sure did. (Shrugs)
Jerry: (Looks at Kenny...raises his eyebrows and gives an evil $hit-eating grin) That damn corner pocket's tighter than your little sister!
I've read these from the board I believe and I've used them a few times...
If someone is having trouble racking an 8-ball rack, tell them "It's not a rubik's cube".
If someone you're playing misses a shot badly, ask them if they know why they missed it? When they say no or give you some lame response point to the spot the ball hit on the rail and tell that there's no pocket there!
If someone is having trouble racking an 8-ball rack, tell them "It's not a rubik's cube".
If someone you're playing misses a shot badly, ask them if they know why they missed it? When they say no or give you some lame response point to the spot the ball hit on the rail and tell that there's no pocket there!
the fats and mosconi classic
Fats and Mosconi were playing one of their TV matches and both were in character. Fats bellyaching about everything, Willie quiet and professional. Finally, halfway through the show or later, Willie muttered under his breath, "ball rolled" when the cue ball traveled a little further than he wanted it to.
Fats growled as only he could, "Course it rolled, it's round ain't it?"
Another time Fats was commenting about the 526 balls Willie ran. "I ran 526 balls myself . . . . BANKS!"
Fats was the worlds funniest person playing somebody else. I don't think both of us would have lived through it had I ever played him.
I still think that Carroll O'Connor stole Archie Bunker from Fats.
Hu
Fats and Mosconi were playing one of their TV matches and both were in character. Fats bellyaching about everything, Willie quiet and professional. Finally, halfway through the show or later, Willie muttered under his breath, "ball rolled" when the cue ball traveled a little further than he wanted it to.
Fats growled as only he could, "Course it rolled, it's round ain't it?"
Another time Fats was commenting about the 526 balls Willie ran. "I ran 526 balls myself . . . . BANKS!"
Fats was the worlds funniest person playing somebody else. I don't think both of us would have lived through it had I ever played him.
I still think that Carroll O'Connor stole Archie Bunker from Fats.
Hu
ShootingArts said:
I agree. He sure did have some funny lines. Here's a couple cute Minnesota Fats' lines in this snippet:
Wanderone, with his hustler persona, enjoyed promoting the so-called "feud" with the reserved Mosconi. He would publicly state, "I may have 'given away' a few games to deserving competitiors, but I have never lost a real money game since I was old enough to spell 'Weeli Mesconi'".
Wanderone was notorious for his spontaneous wit. When he was named the "uncrowned king" because he never got actively involved in tournament circles, because he was too busy out hustling, his reply on his new title was: "You judge a king by the size of his wallet and his palace. You can leave the crown in the toilet."
JAM