Probably pool is not for me

DoubleD said:
To everybody who thinks I was too harsh on this guy,

I grew up in a household where I wasn't allowed to quit anything. I had a father who would turn red screaming at me when I would complain about not being good. When I would say I was going to quit he would almost get violent.

I had a few teachers who noticed when I didn't apply myself if things got a little bit hard. Several times they called me into one-on-one meetings to tell me, in much nicer, ways the same things my father told me. The rest of my teachers were impressed enough by my effort (or, as was more usual, my lack thereof). Of my teachers in HS and my professors in college, those few are the ones I remember.

None of them mollycoddled me and it was the best gift anyone has ever given me.

This touchy-feely world in which we now live makes me sick. People don't get ahead by being told they are good when they aren't. People want to give up when things become difficult and they want high praise when they are mediocre. Our world lets them do the former and gives them the latter.

So, yes, I will be harsh when someone comes on with his 'woe is me' story. Be a man and realize that character is not defined by doing what is easy. Character is when a guy gets kicked in the teeth multiple times and smiles a bloody toothless smile before getting kicked again.

dld
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Coddling a person is of little use and brow beating them is counterproductive.

It's not a good idea to comfort someone into quitting or to scare someone into success. Figure out a way to instill in them a desire to achieve their goals and they will have the drive it takes to succeed on their own terms and they will be able to deal with their success once they have achieved it.

It's also worth mentioning that people have a tendency to teach in the manner they were taught.
 
You forgot the #1 solution:
62c8022d1d74aa8a43db1f159aca7f54cdfdd131.jpg.jpg


michael4 said:
options:

1) take a break
2) play weaker players for a change
3) solid practice will make you more confident in your abilities


As mentioned this might be a bigger issue for you than just pool???

Best of luck working it out, the first step is talking about it (which you are doing)
Click to expand...
 
Whenever I get to a low point, I go back to the basics. I ask myself, ''Why am I doing this?'' It comes down to passion.
Lyn St. James
 
DoubleD said:
No, I haven't felt sorry for myself in a long time.

You say you are competitive, but you sound like a quitter. You aren't good, so you decide you aren't going to get better, which means you have to quit.

I bet that philosophy will lead to a VERY fulfilling life.

Just think about all the great stories you'll have to tell your grandkids--they will all end with '...but I wasn't good, so I quit trying.'

dld
Click to expand...

Rehab is for quitters too................

LOL

Kim
 
I'M THE GUY WHO PLAYED WITH SLH YESTERDAY...

(we played 10-ball race to 9, and I gave him the 9 ball.
I started playing seriously until 3-0 for me, then noticed that he was playing very poorly not beacause he is bad but because he wasnt fully into it: just like he knew he was going to lose and couldn't do anything about it, and needless to say he wasn't enjoying the game at all...
Noticing that I couldnt go on playing focused and we ended the game just to end it at 8-7 for me... we weren't betting anything and divided the table fare)

Listen, I know how you feel: i felt exactly the same some times ago when I was playing with Biagio ( a strong player of our poolroom) , and losing every time... We played about 6 times in 3 weeks, and I only won 1 match. Every time i lost, i thought that he was lucky, and that I should be beating him easily, and didn't manage to do that only to lack of focusing... every time i went home very sad and disappointed ....

Then I realized that the problem was not my focus, because i desperatly wanted to beat him so obviusly i was focused ! Simply I still wasn't good enough to beat him yet ! I started to practice better than before ,
Instead of just running balls and some drills (I have the fortune to own a table at home). I thought with GREAT HUMILTY : "ok, maybe i'm not good as i think to be,maybe i cant even do the simple stuffs correctly" , so I decided to start from fundamentals (how to hold the cue, stance, stroke, etc) , correct my aiming adjusting it to my dominant eye, then moving to easy shots doing them until they were automatic, then difficult shots, than position play , etc...
I'm doing this from some days, and I'm already seeing great improvements in my pocketing ability and mental strenght, because , as others said, you need to know the game to be confident with it, and also you need to know yourself ! You dont have to shoot until you know youre doing that 100% right and not gonna miss it ! And to do so you have to take your time before shooting, even for the easy shots, you have to exactly predict how the balls will be moving ! dont have fear of seeming dumb if you take much time for an easy shot...

Remember that when you miss a shot, or lose a game, its not because you are unlucky, or god is punishing you, but its only your fault !! you have to exactly understand why you are missing the shot and correct it ! for example why did you aimed correctly but missed the shot? maybe it your stroke! your stroke is good ? then its your aiming ! and so on...

Other than practice hard, wich is the only way to get better, I choosed not to play with Biagio until I'm sure I will beat him! So you also should go play weaker players to gain confidence instead of quitting the game.

Practice hard is the only way to be confident and to get better in any sport. No magic wands !!
I know its easy to say that for me, having a table at home :D but sadly there is no way to play good other than this.

Oh, you say you are not self confident in life other than in pool, so your pool is bad because of this lack of confidence... If I were you, I'd try to make this the opposite: getting better in pool may let you feel more self confident in everyday life!

Sport (and I consider pool a sport rather than a game) is a great master of life, it should teach you not to quit when you are losing, but to train harder and win what you want. If you quit the game you wont learn anything and will gain only regret of not being enough motivated to get good at it, IT DEFINITELY WONT HELP YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE IF YOU QUIT :thumbup:

Federico
 
I FORGOT TO SAY: i say dont quit, but get a vacancy period from pool, it will help you to regain interest in the game and forget bad days !
 
FactoryMaster said:
I'M THE GUY WHO PLAYED WITH SLH YESTERDAY...

(we played 10-ball race to 9, and I gave him the 9 ball.
I started playing seriously until 3-0 for me, then noticed that he was playing very poorly not beacause he is bad but because he wasnt fully into it: just like he knew he was going to lose and couldn't do anything about it, and needless to say he wasn't enjoying the game at all...
Noticing that I couldnt go on playing focused and we ended the game just to end it at 8-7 for me... we weren't betting anything and divided the table fare)

Listen, I know how you feel: i felt exactly the same some times ago when I was playing with Biagio ( a strong player of our poolroom) , and losing every time... We played about 6 times in 3 weeks, and I only won 1 match. Every time i lost, i thought that he was lucky, and that I should be beating him easily, and didn't manage to do that only to lack of focusing... every time i went home very sad and disappointed ....

Then I realized that the problem was not my focus, because i desperatly wanted to beat him so obviusly i was focused ! Simply I still wasn't good enough to beat him yet ! I started to practice better than before ,
Instead of just running balls and some drills (I have the fortune to own a table at home). I thought with GREAT HUMILTY : "ok, maybe i'm not good as i think to be,maybe i cant even do the simple stuffs correctly" , so I decided to start from fundamentals (how to hold the cue, stance, stroke, etc) , correct my aiming adjusting it to my dominant eye, then moving to easy shots doing them until they were automatic, then difficult shots, than position play , etc...
I'm doing this from some days, and I'm already seeing great improvements in my pocketing ability and mental strenght, because , as others said, you need to know the game to be confident with it, and also you need to know yourself ! You dont have to shoot until you know youre doing that 100% right and not gonna miss it ! And to do so you have to take your time before shooting, even for the easy shots, you have to exactly predict how the balls will be moving ! dont have fear of seeming dumb if you take much time for an easy shot...

Remember that when you miss a shot, or lose a game, its not because you are unlucky, or god is punishing you, but its only your fault !! you have to exactly understand why you are missing the shot and correct it ! for example why did you aimed correctly but missed the shot? maybe it your stroke! your stroke is good ? then its your aiming ! and so on...

Other than practice hard, wich is the only way to get better, I choosed not to play with Biagio until I'm sure I will beat him! So you also should go play weaker players to gain confidence instead of quitting the game.

Practice hard is the only way to be confident and to get better in any sport. No magic wands !!
I know its easy to say that for me, having a table at home :D but sadly there is no way to play good other than this.

Oh, you say you are not self confident in life other than in pool, so your pool is bad because of this lack of confidence... If I were you, I'd try to make this the opposite: getting better in pool may let you feel more self confident in everyday life!

Sport (and I consider pool a sport rather than a game) is a great master of life, it should teach you not to quit when you are losing, but to train harder and win what you want. If you quit the game you wont learn anything and will gain only regret of not being enough motivated to get good at it, IT DEFINITELY WONT HELP YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE IF YOU QUIT :thumbup:

Federico
Click to expand...

Good reply!
 
Pool is probably not for me either but I'll keep playing because I love it.

If I were you (and I've definitely been in your position) I'd take a couple days off, then try other games (there are only a few hundred), focus on specific aspects of your game (like following through on every shot), and just ENJOY PLAYING THE GAME.
 
so many 2-cents-worth, but I'll chip in my own:

- I'm scared of missing almost every ball too, I've heard a pro describe a shooting situation where he says "I'm basically worrying every ball in". I think it's normal.

Maybe there are pros out there who say "oh cool, my break was good, the rack is open and I'm straight in on the one. I can relax because I basically won. Let me just clean up now." ...but I think most of us see a wide open rack and think "man... this is a runout. I'm gonna be humiliated if I don't get out from here."

- Nobody has to fully, officially quit anything, like it's some grand gesture with a ceremony where you unscrew the cue a final time and lay it in a case with a carnation and lock it in the vault.

The next time your buddies say "hey let's go shoot", you decide on the spot if you feel like playing. If you do, go ahead, and if not, then don't. Reassess every week. Maybe you just feel like playing less, or with different people, or maybe a different game.
 
FactoryMaster said:
I FORGOT TO SAY: i say dont quit, but get a vacancy period from pool, it will help you to regain interest in the game and forget bad days !
Click to expand...
Thanks for joining us here! YOu and slh ned to put up some pictures from your pool room.

And please tell him to suck it up and focus...or you will have to punch him in the arm and give him the 8 AND the 9 ball next time!
 
Some things in life are worth getting kicked in the teeth over...pool isn't one of them. Many other good suggestions here, good luck, have fun.
 
Black-Balled said:
Thanks for joining us here! YOu and slh ned to put up some pictures from your pool room.

And please tell him to suck it up and focus...or you will have to punch him in the arm and give him the 8 AND the 9 ball next time!
Click to expand...

Lol, I tried to motivate him but failed, i will follow your advice and go try the brutal way !! :thumbup:

There's nothing really worthing photografing in our poolrooms... pool is very little played here in sicily, there are some nice pool rooms and tourneys in the nord of Italy, nothing here in the sud :mad:

this is also why he feels demotivated ! For me, I want to play in the national championship so i buyed a table for practicing at home , because if i had to practice in the local pool rooms, i would play in bad tables, at 10 $ / hour , and with non worthy players ( 99% are 14-18 y.o. ballbangers)....
 
FactoryMaster said:
I'M THE GUY WHO PLAYED WITH SLH YESTERDAY...

(we played 10-ball race to 9, and I gave him the 9 ball.
I started playing seriously until 3-0 for me, then noticed that he was playing very poorly not beacause he is bad but because he wasnt fully into it: just like he knew he was going to lose and couldn't do anything about it, and needless to say he wasn't enjoying the game at all...
Noticing that I couldnt go on playing focused and we ended the game just to end it at 8-7 for me... we weren't betting anything and divided the table fare)

Listen, I know how you feel: i felt exactly the same some times ago when I was playing with Biagio ( a strong player of our poolroom) , and losing every time... We played about 6 times in 3 weeks, and I only won 1 match. Every time i lost, i thought that he was lucky, and that I should be beating him easily, and didn't manage to do that only to lack of focusing... every time i went home very sad and disappointed ....

Then I realized that the problem was not my focus, because i desperatly wanted to beat him so obviusly i was focused ! Simply I still wasn't good enough to beat him yet ! I started to practice better than before ,
Instead of just running balls and some drills (I have the fortune to own a table at home). I thought with GREAT HUMILTY : "ok, maybe i'm not good as i think to be,maybe i cant even do the simple stuffs correctly" , so I decided to start from fundamentals (how to hold the cue, stance, stroke, etc) , correct my aiming adjusting it to my dominant eye, then moving to easy shots doing them until they were automatic, then difficult shots, than position play , etc...
I'm doing this from some days, and I'm already seeing great improvements in my pocketing ability and mental strenght, because , as others said, you need to know the game to be confident with it, and also you need to know yourself ! You dont have to shoot until you know youre doing that 100% right and not gonna miss it ! And to do so you have to take your time before shooting, even for the easy shots, you have to exactly predict how the balls will be moving ! dont have fear of seeming dumb if you take much time for an easy shot...

Remember that when you miss a shot, or lose a game, its not because you are unlucky, or god is punishing you, but its only your fault !! you have to exactly understand why you are missing the shot and correct it ! for example why did you aimed correctly but missed the shot? maybe it your stroke! your stroke is good ? then its your aiming ! and so on...

Other than practice hard, wich is the only way to get better, I choosed not to play with Biagio until I'm sure I will beat him! So you also should go play weaker players to gain confidence instead of quitting the game.

Practice hard is the only way to be confident and to get better in any sport. No magic wands !!
I know its easy to say that for me, having a table at home :D but sadly there is no way to play good other than this.

Oh, you say you are not self confident in life other than in pool, so your pool is bad because of this lack of confidence... If I were you, I'd try to make this the opposite: getting better in pool may let you feel more self confident in everyday life!

Sport (and I consider pool a sport rather than a game) is a great master of life, it should teach you not to quit when you are losing, but to train harder and win what you want. If you quit the game you wont learn anything and will gain only regret of not being enough motivated to get good at it, IT DEFINITELY WONT HELP YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE IF YOU QUIT :thumbup:

Federico
Click to expand...

Why are you guys paying for your table time when you have your own table at home?

Paying for tables would make me quit in seconds lol.
 
FactoryMaster said:
Lol, I tried to motivate him but failed, i will follow your advice and go try the brutal way !! :thumbup:

There's nothing really worthing photografing in our poolrooms... pool is very little played here in sicily, there are some nice pool rooms and tourneys in the nord of Italy, nothing here in the sud :mad:

this is also why he feels demotivated ! For me, I want to play in the national championship so i buyed a table for practicing at home , because if i had to practice in the local pool rooms, i would play in bad tables, at 10 $ / hour , and with non worthy players ( 99% are 14-18 y.o. ballbangers)....
Click to expand...
Fine...post pictures of your table and the public ones. I have married into a family that has family in Sicily (Calascibetta?) and as soon as they pay for me to come ove, I am on my way!

Now, call slh on the phone and say someting mean, then hang up right away.;)
 
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