Shooting pool and the "old lady"

[RedEyeJedi]

She and I met in a pool hall. She knew what she was getting into.

Four years later, still playing 4 hours daily -- some issues from time to time, but usually all's well. Quoth Efren, "I got lucky."

 

[brechbt]

The look, the comment, she's your wife, not your mother....

It's all about spending some quality time doing what she wants to do. Women who feel neglected or unimportant, get moody, insecure and suspicious.

If you're always in a hurry to go somewhere else, the impression is left that you don't want to be where you are.


None of you need permission to do anything. What you need to do is be aware of her feelings and take the time to make her know she's vital to your well being and happiness.

Tap, tap, tap.

No offense to the OP, but even the phrase "the old lady" suggests a mind-set that is ripe for conflict. In my experience, most women (and men) are accepting of hobbies and personal interests provided that the relationship as a whole is in balance.

 

[bakermaker]

My wife and pool playin'

I think the biggest problem with pool players wives or girlfriends concerning pool is that a woman cannot compete with a pool table! I am lucky enough to have a wife that knows how much pool means to me. She lets me go out and play when I can, and she knows I am not out chasing tail. The best thing a pool player can do is to reciprocate and do things in return for his wife. I truly feel sorry for those who have a significant other that holds them back from playing.

 

[blucollar]

Tap, tap, tap.

No offense to the OP, but even the phrase "the old lady" suggests a mind-set that is ripe for conflict. In my experience, most women (and men) are accepting of hobbies and personal interests provided that the relationship as a whole is in balance.

The term "old lady" was put there solely to grab your attention. When I made this post part of the reason was because I couldnt wait to hear from all the in house therapists

 

[rayjay]

My wife and I have mutual respect and mutual trust. She can do anything she likes, and so can I. We have a great marriage...almost 31 yrs.

 

[brechbt]

The term "old lady" was put there solely to grab your attention. When I made this post part of the reason was because I couldnt wait to hear from all the in house therapists

OK, I understand. Like I said, no offense intended. Interesting thread.

 

[Bambu]

My wife and me have the secret to a great relationship, we go out to eat twice a week. A little wine, some good food. Yes, she goes out on tuesdays, I go on fridays!

 

[Blue Hog ridr]

make her know she's vital to your well being and happiness.

I have always made my wife feel like she is vital to my life.

Thats why I always ask to use her debit card when I am going out to play.

See, and some of you guys probably had the impression that I was thoughtless and uncaring.

My wife doesn't like the term Old Lady. I let it slip once in a while. She likes the term War Department even less.

Try it sometime guys. When your buddies are over, call her the War Department in front of her and see what happens.
Its kind of one of those relationship testing devices.

My Old Lady, I mean my wife, will wait until we are alone and she will give me that, We are going to talk, or I have something to say to you look.

Then, she will say the word SO, There will be a fairly long pause between the word SO and the rest of the words that will come out of her mouth.

Anyway, When I hear the SO and a pause, I know that somehow I messed up.

It will be the stare look, SO, pause and stare again. I have it down pat.

 

[RunoutJJ]

I like it when you meet a women and you start to get serious... Then you tell her about your pool problem. Not that it's really a problem but a huge part of your life and you play a lot of it. So that being said you understand that I play a lot of pool and this shouldn't effect our relationship right??

Of course they agree to this and say that your relationship won't disrupt your pool game. Then a month of two goes by and guess what... She renigs on the said agreement.

So fair this had been consistent with every women Ive dated. They end up hating pool instead of understanding your deep passion for it. Like said above its all about compromise and if you don't come to one it won't work out :sorry:

 

[blucollar]

I think it really is they dont understand because they are more sensible. Women are passionate about things that matter while men seem to be more passionate about meaningless things like hobbies...By meaningless, I mean they dont really serve a vital purpose...like pool I think the majority of us are mostly bangers, decent players. The problem they have with pool is that in most cases it requires us to go to a place where there are other influences there that arent so cordial

 

[Jodacus]

so far-so good

My wife has never played the game. Not once.

She has her own hobbies and I have pool.

We respect and support each others interests,
to the point where I travel with her to her
conventions where she convenes and I find the
local room. Or we travel to tournaments where I
play and she pursues her own interests.

I don't attend her things and she stays out of
the pool room. Her thing or my thing controls
the scheduling. I have been at DCC with her
and not seen her for 5 days because of how
much I play. We are cool with it.

This system has worked for us for 30 years.
Hopefully 30 more.

Thanks for reading.

Flintlock

 

[Frankenstroke]

My wife and I have mutual respect and mutual trust. She can do anything she likes, and so can I. We have a great marriage...almost 31 yrs.

Don't take anything for granted. My wife left after 30 years.

 

[DelaWho???]

I think it really is they dont understand because they are more sensible. Women are passionate about things that matter while men seem to be more passionate about meaningless things like hobbies...By meaningless, I mean they dont really serve a vital purpose...like pool I think the majority of us are mostly bangers, decent players. The problem they have with pool is that in most cases it requires us to go to a place where there are other influences there that arent so cordial

Once again she isn't your mother...

Either she trusts you to do the right thing or she doesn't

Making someone you are involved with feel ignored or neglected is a recipe for conflict whether it is over pool, your career or your cock.

If you aren't selfish you won't have a problem.

 

[jim_vielee]

How many guys out there get grief from the wife for shootin too much pool?

Ike Turner wouldnt put up with this from Tina. We shouldnt either.

 

[brechbt]

Ike Turner wouldnt put up with this from Tina. We shouldnt either.

Let's see: Tina fired his ass, his career tanked, hers soared, he's dead now, she's alive and kicking. Yep, excellent role model there!

 

[dkleather]

I think as long as you can convince them you're not enjoying it you're fine. If there's one thing they can't stand it's the thought you might be out enjoying yourself.

 

[deanoc]

i would quit in a minute if my wife asked me too

i probably waste too much time playing
but she never complains

to be honest i would not be happy if she had such a hobby and wouldn't want her at the pool room ever

i wouldn't want her exposed to the rank talk and disrespect that seems so common

 

[CreeDo]

I used to get it about pool, and cut back from 5 nights a week, to 3, to 2. Then I ended up spending tons of time on the forum or the net in general (compare my two posts a month now vs. 20 a day back then...).
Eventually, it nuked the marriage.

Delawho has it dead on - if your wife feels neglected, it doesn't really matter what you're doing... she's not going to be happy and there's gonna be a problem, and it may result in divorce if you don't shuffle your priorities.

Pool is kind of an easy target because there's this perception that it's not a real sport, just a bar game, and the wife may not understand that a person can truly love the game for itself... she may think it's just an excuse to get your drink on and bullshit with other guys (or girls), without blatantly hanging out at the local bar.

 

[TheBook]

My wife is ok with the pool that I play. What irritates her is the drinking, areas and other people that are there.


.

 

[thommy]

All ay'all could be like me,
23 months working away from home
I can shoot as often as I want
wish I was home.
She trusts me, I can do as she can, anything we want


third time IS a charm