The funniest excuse you ever heard from poolplayer when they lost

Cuaba said:
I beat a friend at a local tournament in Bangkok.

He kept saying he was going blind in his right eye.

After the tourney he went to the hospital and was diagnosed with a retinal tear. He had surgery to repair it.

I felt bad because I thought he was full of shit.
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There are exceptions.
 
Ironman317 said:
i really laugh after they start new threads about how when you say something nice, no one cares...but if you say something derogatory, people jump right in. then, they rant and rave saying things like, "I don't give a flying %#@k if I get banned!" :wink:
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I let it go, why don't you.
 
Not really on the funny side but, my wife and I spanked another doubles team that really needed it. My wife and I were early so we had a warm up game. When the guy and his wife walked in, he made a crack about us needing a warm up. I said to him that we weren't in any hurry and he was welcome to a warm up to. He looked at me and said, "We don't need warm up games". They conceded the 12th game which gave us a 32 point spread on them. Before they left, he made sure to tell us that both of them were up at 5am that morning and were tired. I said, my wife is a nurse and shes up every morning at 5:30 and I get up with her for coffee, that kinda makes us even.
 
I am playing in a BCA league. The player that I am playing in the game breaks and comes up dry and scratches. With BIH I run the table out. He says that the only reason that I beat him is because he has a new cue and isn't use to it. I looked at him and asked "You bought a new break cue?" He said "No a playing cue." I than laughed and said "Well, the break cue is the only one that you used in the game. You broke and that was the only shot you had." He yelled "But it doesn't matter. You would never beat me if I was playing with my old cue."

I don't know why he ever switched cues. I played him a few more times during the season and he must have always been using his new cue. He never ever beat me. I quit after that season because the league was rigged for the LO and his team or buddies to always win.
 
hmmm lets see.

I have heard the cue ball is warped b4. Crazy thing is I was kinda believing it myself.

The balls are dirty and not cutting right.

The lights are to dim

The table is wet

The humidity is to high

My tip is new and not broke in

My tip doesnt hold silver cup chalk good.

I can only play for big money.

The table is downhill and rolls faster one way.


some of these I have used myself haha
 
I just cant see the balls ,i was in the sun to much today i think my eyes got sunburnt.....
 
Mis-cue

Playing for a few bucks in a bar, dude sitting at the bar goes crazy because I had my own chalk. "Our chalk isn't good enough, nobody brings their own chalk".
Wants to play for more money, slaps his quarters down, and the guy could play until he mis-cues on the 8 sitting in the pocket.
I run out, he pays me and says "I would have beat you if I hadn't mis-cued"
I said "you wouldn't have mis-cued if you had your own chalk"
 
I was beating up on a guy that had a nice case with a jumper and a player and a break cue for a while and he mentions how he saw me lose to a guy the other day and he once beat that guy for $500.

He told me how when the bet was made he went home and got his good sticks. "See, these are just my practice sticks."
 
Luxury said:
I was beating up on a guy that had a nice case with a jumper and a player and a break cue for a while and he mentions how he saw me lose to a guy the other day and he once beat that guy for $500.

He told me how when the bet was made he went home and got his good sticks. "See, these are just my practice sticks."
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years ago in Denver at the old Centennial Biliards on S Sant Fe Phil Noble was playing a goof 8 ball on the front table for $15.00 a game. Phil beats this goof 11 straight games and then misses an 8 ball which was almost a hanger.

Phil went nuts and said he could not perform under these conditions. He claimed he missed becasue he stepped on a match on the floor, unscrewed and quit.

His opponet then went nuts and took off around the table after Phil. This was his biggest mistake of the night!!
 
Centennial

ironman said:
years ago in Denver at the old Centennial Biliards on S Sant Fe Phil Noble was playing a goof 8 ball on the front table for $15.00 a game. Phil beats this goof 11 straight games and then misses an 8 ball which was almost a hanger.

Phil went nuts and said he could not perform under these conditions. He claimed he missed becasue he stepped on a match on the floor, unscrewed and quit.

His opponet then went nuts and took off around the table after Phil. This was his biggest mistake of the night!!
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Centennial, that brings back memories.
I forgot Pete Casino used to own it until he reminded me one night at the old Table Steaks.
 
I get a kick outa the guy that says 'that's the worst game I've ever played in my life' after I beat him. Funny part about it is he says that everytime I beat him. His game must really be going down hill if it get worse eveytime I win.

I personally don't use excuses...the other guy always gets lucky!:o:wink::rolleyes:

L8R...Ken
 
"You play too fast, I coulnd't get my pace" is the best I remember.

A little OT but once I was playing a guy in a big tournament here in Italy 9ball race to 11. I'm up 10-0 and he misses the 7 leaving me 3 hangers. He conceeded the game (and match) and went aroung saying that he "forfeited" the match because of the bad playing conditions. Italians... lol
 
it can!

in the 70's(enough said right there-weed $13-15 an ounce in calif.)when i was in the navy in monterey and REALLY learning to do different drugs it took about a sixpack for my body to get unwired enough to to find a stroke. never was a world beater or anything even remotely of that nature but without the calming effect of the alcohol i was pretty shaky.
zy112 said:
"I hadn't had enough beer/ I wasn't drunk enough"

Love it, like drinking really helps your hand eye coordination
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I was playing in an APA tourney, the guy was a 2 or 3. I was a low 5 at the time. The other made 2 or three solids on the break, but missed on his first shot on a solid that was a hanger. I got the the table and ran stripes out. The guy turned to me and said, "if we were playing bar rules i would have won."
 
I don't think an excuse has to be false to be funny.

I was watching a different match at the time, but during the World Straight Pool Championships (1982, I think), I overheard a player tell somebody "my bowtie cost me the match." It seemed a bit riduiculous, so I did some investigating. As it turns out, the player was at 147 and had to make three routine shots off a wide open table to win. Unfortunately, as he prepared to cue for his next shot, his clip-on bowtie (tuxedos were mandatory back then) fell off and landed on the cue ball for a foul (all ball fouls were in effect), after which his opponent ran out the match.

"My bowtie cost me the match." A lame excuse if there ever was one, but remarkably, true on this occasion.
 
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