Name some woofin' quotes that you thought were very funny

Badbeat13

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I enjoy hearing some woofin' as long as it's friendly or funny. I've heard a lot of funny things said in poolrooms over the years, just wondering if anyone wants to share some of the funny banter that they've heard. The person who did the woofin' can remain anonymous or you can say who said it.


One of the funny ones I heard actually came from a casino that my brother dealt at. There was a gentleman who is deceased now that always came in with this announcement. " My name's Campbell and I'm here to gamble,with any man from any land, any game you can name, any amount you can count!"

Classic, if you ask me.
 
Not really woofin but I think it was Scotty Townsend

I got your money it's just in action right now.
 
At the 2003 Derby City Classic, Keith McCready was doing everything possible to get in action with Eric Durbin. You see, rumor had it that Eric Durbin was up 50 large. In fact, most folks were calling it the "Durbin City Classic" that year because Eric was winning everything he played. :grin:

Well, Keith's good friend and stakehorse Berle was in the house, and he told Keith that he could bet it as high as the Georgia pine. Berle liked Keith's in action, and everybody in the Executive West that evening wanted to see something happen.

Now, Durbin was well aware that he was a target for every pool gunslinger in the joint, and he was trying to keep low, but he couldn't escape Keith's mouth. Keith followed Eric like a shadow, giving Eric every proposition bet Keith could muster. And the crowd that surrounded Keith was getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Everybody was hanging onto every word out of Keith's mouth, hoping to see some big action.

Finally, Eric says to Keith, "Okay, you got action. Let me go up to my room, and I'll be right back." By this time, it was late in the night, and I wasn't too happy about sweating an all-nighter. Keith was supposed to play Grady Mathews one-pocket on the TV table the next morning at 10 a.m. How on earth could he bring his best game to the table if he got no sleep? Tournaments never mattered much to Keith, though, when action was calling his name. :mad:

An hour went by since Eric went to his room, and the crowd was getting restless. Alex Pagulayan joined in the festivities and started taking all bets whether he could touch the ceiling with one leap upwards. I've never seen such a little guy jump so high in my life. :grin-square:

Seeing all the prospects for action, Shannon Daulton decided to see if he could drum something up. He said, "I got an idea. Why don't we each put up $10,000 and have a 9-ball tournament, and then we'll see who the best 9-ball player in the land is." :cool:

Everybody stopped dead in their tracks to see what would happen next. By this time, just about every action player at the DCC was standing there with wide nostrels. $10,000 apiece, well, we might be looking at a $100,000 mini 9-ball tourney. :eek:

But nobody uttered a peep to take Shannon up on his very kind offer. Finally, after the unseemingly long pregnant pause, Shannon retorts, "It's so damn quiet in here now, you could hear a mouse peeing on a cotton ball." :lmao::lmao::lmao:

Everybody laughed, and the barkfest continued while we all stood there waiting for the elusive Eric Durbin, who finally sent down a member of his entourage to say that Eric had changed his mind and wouldn't be playing. :(

What a bummer after waiting all that time. Action eventually did occur after another hour-long barkfest, but that's a topic for another story. :wink:
 
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At the 2003 Derby City Classic, Keith McCready was doing everything possible to get in action with Eric Durbin. You see, rumor had it that Eric Durbin was up 50 large. In fact, most folks were calling it the "Durbin City Classic" that year because Eric was winning everything he played. :grin:

Well, Keith's good friend and stakehorse Berle was in the house, and he told Keith that he could bet it as high as the Georgia pine. Berle liked Keith's in action, and everybody in the Executive West that evening wanted to see something happen.

Now, Durbin was well aware that he was a target for every pool gunslinger in the joint, and he was trying to keep low, but he couldn't escape Keith's mouth. Keith followed Eric like a shadow, giving Eric every proposition bet Keith could muster. And the crowd that surrounded Keith was getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Everybody was hanging onto every word out of Keith's mouth, hoping to see some big action.

Finally, Eric says to Keith, "Okay, you got action. Let me go up to my room, and I'll be right back." By this time, it was late in the night, and I wasn't too happy about sweating an all-nighter. Keith was supposed to play Grady Mathews one-pocket on the TV table the next morning at 10 a.m. How on earth could he bring his best game to the table if he got no sleep? Tournaments never mattered much to Keith, though, when action was calling his name. :mad:

An hour went by since Eric went to his room, and the crowd was getting restless. Alex Pagulayan joined in the festivities and started taking all bets whether he could touch the ceiling with one leap upwards. I've never seen such a little guy jump so high in my life. :grin-square:

Seeing all the prospects for action, Shannon Daulton decided to see if he could drum something up. He said, "I got an idea. Why don't we each put up $10,000 and have a 9-ball tournament, and then we'll see who the best 9-ball player in the land is." :cool:

Everybody stopped dead in their tracks to see what would happen next. By this time, just about every action player at the DCC was standing there with wide nostrels. $10,000 apiece, well, we might be looking at a $100,000 mini 9-ball tourney. :eek:

But nobody uttered a peep to take Shannon up on his very kind offer. Finally, after the unseemingly long pregnant pause, Shannon retorts, "It's so damn quiet in here now, you could hear a mouse peeing on a cotton ball." :lmao::lmao::lmao:

Everybody laughed, and the barkfest continued while we all stood there waiting for the elusive Eric Durbin, who finally sent down a member of his entourage to say that Eric had changed his mind and wouldn't be playing. :(

What a bummer after waiting all that time. Action eventually did occur after another hour-long barkfest, but that's a topic for another story. :wink:

Speaking of Keith reminds me of the 2003 U.S. Open if my memory serves me right. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it might have been his match with Buddy Hall. Keith was on the hill and had an open table. Inside pool was there and posting match updates on their sight. Keith took a look at the lay of the table and then said " Go ahead and put this one on the internet". That's funny, but I think he dogged the out if I'm not mistaken.
 
Speaking of Keith reminds me of the 2003 U.S. Open if my memory serves me right. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it might have been his match with Buddy Hall. Keith was on the hill and had an open table. Inside pool was there and posting match updates on their sight. Keith took a look at the lay of the table and then said " Go ahead and put this one on the internet". That's funny, but I think he dogged the out if I'm not mistaken.

Oh, yeah. I remember that one very well! :D

Sally Timko, Editor of InsidePOOL, retorted back, "We will." :embarrassed2:
 
Oh, yeah. I remember that one very well! :D

Sally Timko, Editor of InsidePOOL, retorted back, "We will." :embarrassed2:

I met Sally and J.R. at the 2004 U.S. Open and thought they were very nice people.
 
Scotty Townsend told me one time before our tournament match..."I hate to skin you kid, but I gotta have your hide!". I got lucky and won.

Matching up one time and I asked a guy what he like to play for. He said, "Stand on your head and bounce up and down. I won't to bet everything that falls out of your pockets.". I couldn't help but bust out laughing. He got offended but we did end up playing for about 12 hours and broke even. He turned out to be a great guy.
 
Scotty Townsend told me one time before our tournament match..."I hate to skin you kid, but I gotta have your hide!". I got lucky and won.

Matching up one time and I asked a guy what he like to play for. He said, "Stand on your head and bounce up and down. I won't to bet everything that falls out of your pockets.". I couldn't help but bust out laughing. He got offended but we did end up playing for about 12 hours and broke even. He turned out to be a great guy.

Funny quotes for sure. Man that Scotty is something else and makes being around pool that much better.

My best friend at the time (1992) was playing $100 dollar sets with another aquaintence of ours and my best friend lost the 1st 2 sets. The other guy loved to talk sh$t, especially with a crowd around(which there was). My buddy was wearing a gold watch,gold necklace,gold bracelet, and a gold ring. As soon as he was stuck the 1st 2 sets our aqaintence looked around and said " I'll look like Mr. T when I get done with this boy". Lol, it was funny as sh$t, but my buddy took it personal and would later bust the smack talkin' aquaintence of ours.
 
"My pockets and packed tighter than a scarecrow!!"


Bucktooth before getting owned by Fatboy with the 50k coin flip!!
 
Speaking of Keith reminds me of the 2003 U.S. Open if my memory serves me right. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it might have been his match with Buddy Hall. Keith was on the hill and had an open table. Inside pool was there and posting match updates on their sight. Keith took a look at the lay of the table and then said " Go ahead and put this one on the internet". That's funny, but I think he dogged the out if I'm not mistaken.

I think he was playing Alex
 
One of the funny ones I heard actually came from a casino that my brother dealt at. There was a gentleman who is deceased now that always came in with this announcement. " My name's Campbell and I'm here to gamble,with any man from any land, any game you can name, any amount you can count!"

Classic, if you ask me.

Puggy Pearson (a professional poker player) was known as a man who would always seek out the biggest game in town, whether it was in the poker room or on the golf links. He even owned a RV he called the Roving Gambler, with this painted on the side: "I'll play any man from any land any game he can name for any amount I can count, provided I like it."

I wonder who stole it from the other??? :D
 
There was something recently about a "horsefuggin"...not sure, but I ordered the t-shirt. Somebody told me once "nice shot, Lucky". I said "Yeah, I'm lucky...lucky I'm playing you."
 
Speaking of Keith reminds me of the 2003 U.S. Open if my memory serves me right. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it might have been his match with Buddy Hall. Keith was on the hill and had an open table. Inside pool was there and posting match updates on their sight. Keith took a look at the lay of the table and then said " Go ahead and put this one on the internet". That's funny, but I think he dogged the out if I'm not mistaken.

I think it was against alex.I was there with buddy in 03.
 
After Shane beat Mike Dechaine for the cash, Mike woofs he wants to play again the next day.

Shane's reply: "I can't. I'm going shopping."
 
If you had my money, you would burn yours!

If i had your money i would burn mine!

You are one heartless creature!

You wouldnt bet water was wet!

You wouldnt know what to do if you didnt have the nuts everytime!

I could make more money working then hanging around you nits everyday.
 
"Does anybody know somebody that might know somebody that might know somebody who wants to gamble"? I've seen this line drum up some action more than once.
 
"I'd rather be eaten by a goat and shit off a cliff than watch you put 2 dollars in your pocket." - John Schmidt
 
they're like long tailed cats in a room full of rocking chairs!"

At the 2003 Derby City Classic, Keith McCready was doing everything possible to get in action with Eric Durbin. You see, rumor had it that Eric Durbin was up 50 large. In fact, most folks were calling it the "Durbin City Classic" that year because Eric was winning everything he played. :grin:

Well, Keith's good friend and stakehorse Berle was in the house, and he told Keith that he could bet it as high as the Georgia pine. Berle liked Keith's in action, and everybody in the Executive West that evening wanted to see something happen.

Now, Durbin was well aware that he was a target for every pool gunslinger in the joint, and he was trying to keep low, but he couldn't escape Keith's mouth. Keith followed Eric like a shadow, giving Eric every proposition bet Keith could muster. And the crowd that surrounded Keith was getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Everybody was hanging onto every word out of Keith's mouth, hoping to see some big action.

Finally, Eric says to Keith, "Okay, you got action. Let me go up to my room, and I'll be right back." By this time, it was late in the night, and I wasn't too happy about sweating an all-nighter. Keith was supposed to play Grady Mathews one-pocket on the TV table the next morning at 10 a.m. How on earth could he bring his best game to the table if he got no sleep? Tournaments never mattered much to Keith, though, when action was calling his name. :mad:

An hour went by since Eric went to his room, and the crowd was getting restless. Alex Pagulayan joined in the festivities and started taking all bets whether he could touch the ceiling with one leap upwards. I've never seen such a little guy jump so high in my life. :grin-square:

Seeing all the prospects for action, Shannon Daulton decided to see if he could drum something up. He said, "I got an idea. Why don't we each put up $10,000 and have a 9-ball tournament, and then we'll see who the best 9-ball player in the land is." :cool:

Everybody stopped dead in their tracks to see what would happen next. By this time, just about every action player at the DCC was standing there with wide nostrels. $10,000 apiece, well, we might be looking at a $100,000 mini 9-ball tourney. :eek:

But nobody uttered a peep to take Shannon up on his very kind offer. Finally, after the unseemingly long pregnant pause, Shannon retorts, "It's so damn quiet in here now, you could hear a mouse peeing on a cotton ball." :lmao::lmao::lmao:

Everybody laughed, and the barkfest continued while we all stood there waiting for the elusive Eric Durbin, who finally sent down a member of his entourage to say that Eric had changed his mind and wouldn't be playing. :(

What a bummer after waiting all that time. Action eventually did occur after another hour-long barkfest, but that's a topic for another story. :wink:

That's funny, Jam, as you probably know I'm good friends with Berle, Weldon,and Shannon from 30 years ago running around Kentucky. I used to gamble with Shannon and then we started betting on each other.

I ask Shannon one time if a group of players at a tournament were "uneasy" about gambling with us, he said "uneasy, sh*t, they're like long tailed cats in a room full of rocking chairs!"

 
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