marriage vs. pool smh

Charlie Hustle said:
Thanks for the kind words. And trust me it crushes my heart every day that I cant see him. I know there are some fathers our there who are ok with only seeing their children every other weekend, but that's not me. I have even told my ex that before when we were together. My parents divorced when I was 6 and my dad moved away for work when I was 15. The last thing in the world that I would wish on my son, or any child for that matter is to not have mommy and daddy at home every day. And as of right now, my ex doesn't see the big picture. I have apologized a million times and told her how selfish that I was. I told her that's no longer me, and in the end our son will suffer the same way we both did. (Her parents are divorced and her mother has been married 4 times)
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Not that it changes the current situation, but her mother being married 4 times may be what have made it so easy for her to leave. She obviously experienced that marriage isn't something that HAS to last forever.

Sorry to JC for me peeling this onion back a little. I just like to analyze things deeper than most.
 
Yea, that was one thing about my ex, she actually played pool and was decent. She could run a few balls at a time. We played exactly one time together on our home table, it was the night we were having a house warming/game room party. Not one other time did she ever offer or want to play with me. I wanted nothing more than to come home from work one day and she had a couple of drinks waiting and the balls racked ready to play a game. Not once did that happen...
 
Diamond69 said:
Not that it changes the current situation, but her mother being married 4 times may be what have made it so easy for her to leave. She obviously experienced that marriage isn't something that HAS to last forever.

Sorry to JC for me peeling this onion back a little. I just like to analyze things deeper than most.
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Agreed 100%. Now, my father has been married 3 times, but in my mind and heart marriage is forever. The last thing I ever wanted to do is follow in my fathers footsteps with multiple marriages, and him moving away from me when I was 15.
 
Fun

Wives can smell fun from miles away and they don't like the smell of fun one bit. Have some kids and the smell of fun will become unbearable to her. Good luck:sorry:
 
Charlie Hustle said:
Agreed 100%. Now, my father has been married 3 times, but in my mind and heart marriage is forever. The last thing I ever wanted to do is follow in my fathers footsteps with multiple marriages, and him moving away from me when I was 15.
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Yep, no matter what the issue is. Divorce, alcohol, smoking, drugs, spanking kids.

1. You either follow in the footsteps because it's what you know.
or
2. You do what you can to break the trend.

My dad beat me with a belt when I screwed up. I didn't like it, but I'm a functional adult and know right from wrong at least partially because of it. I didn't follow in his footsteps, but I also wasn't afraid to give my daughter a spanking to get her attention. I didn't turn into a "time out" dad.
 
jgobigred said:
My wife and I started having this problem after she got pregnant. I worked 60+ hours a week and played league 2 nights a week and usually tournaments every Friday. I took off summer league last year since our due date was in June and then resumed playing in the fall one night a week. She was really *****y about it at first but now she doesn't usually complain. But now I make sure she has as little to complain about as possible. I usually work only about 50 hours a week (she works about 45), I make sure I do the dishes, take out the garbage, wash the pump parts and pack her pump bag, help with laundry, vacuum, go to all the stuff she wants me to go to, watch our daughter so she can relax, change diapers, feed our daughter, clean the high chair, don't watch tv and play or read to my daughter instead, etc, etc 6 days a week. I try to basically be Superdad 6 days a week and then I get my one night a week to fail miserably in pool league. I also make sure that I keep texting her and responding to her texts while I'm at league (except during my games) and answer her calls before league starts. She works 10am-6:30pm league nights and then 5:15am-2:15pm the following day so I empathize with her having to take care of our daughter and get some sleep so I try to leave her with as little to do on her own on league night. It might seem like a lot to do for one night but I'm being the best dad and husband I can be 6 days a week to have one night away and it seems to work for us. Short story long: actually try to do everything she wants and needs when you're not playing pool and if she can't be happy with you having at least one night a week for league, life's too short to put up with that shit!!
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I am sure you need some away time and I think she would agree with that as well. Sounds like you are doing the right things but here is how a woman would view the post.. just differences between us and them... Everything you state doing that makes you superdad/husband are just facts of life that we should be doing. Guys sometimes see it as extra as where they always see it as we are supposed to share the load.

Kudos to you though for being a good husband and father. What I have not read here is actually in your post without you saying it....
For OP
Its not that you are not at pool its that when you aren't at pool you are not WITH her and the family. Ask yourself if your doing everything or even part of what big red is doing.
Just not going to pool is what they are looking for.
 
I don't have much to say on this. I met my wife in a pool hall. 14 years later, we are still together. Don''t play as much as back then due to kids and life, but we still get out once in a awhile.

Ultimately, the decision is yours as to what to do. I agree with a lot of responses, it is just a game. It's up to you if your marriage is worth it to you.
 
You ever have one of those days where you play three balls under your real speed, and you leave the pool hall never wanting to touch a cue again?

They don't happen very often, but they do serve to remind me why I'm a part-time pool player and full-time husband and dad.

My five year old is just starting to get into pool; he's actually coming out to the garage with me at night, to watch me practice. He really likes that whenever I cash playing pool, I buy him a toy with the money.
 
Pool is great and I love to play. I have tried several times to put in the time to get better, but everytime I do, something in my life as a father or husband always suffers, and I end up backing off my playing time. I have come to the conclusion that now just isn't my time to get that good. I play the 20-30 minutes I get 4-5 nights a week, and try to improve what I can. As competitive as I am, and as much as I enjoy playing, there is simply no way any game is more important than my wife or my children. I would personally never place pool over them. I would guess your wife is more bothered by the fact that she percieves you to be more committed to pool than her, and that never goes over well for a woman. I wish you the best overall, but I would challenge you to picture yourself at 60 looking back on life. Will your life matter more if you have had a life long marriage and successful kids who you have a great relationship with, or if you won some bar or city tournament 20 years ago that no one remembers.
 
bobforest said:
Divorce. (or the real threat of divorce)

I'm sorry that's probably not the answer you want to hear, but the issue (as I see it from what you've posted) runs much deeper than just pool. It's about control.

I think most guys can empathise with this situation, we've all been there or are currently there... and it's a horrible choice to have to make. It seems, from what you've said, that you are prepared to listen to her and make some compromises in your life to accomodate her. If that's not enough then I'm sorry, but she doesn't love you or understand you.

Relationships are obviously complex, and I've yet to meet anyone who has a perfect relationship - but if you listen to each other and try to meet half-way on most things, then you should be able to survive the ups and downs. If you back down on this, it'll be something else then something else... until you're on anti-depressants to get out of bed in the morning.

try your best to make your schedule work, and put effort in to showing her how much you love her, but if she keeps giving you the 'you don't love me' bullshit then it's time to call her bluff... give her the 'if you don't like it, there's the door.'

just my thoughts - and i'm no expert on successful relationships

Bob
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I disagree! I don't think it sounds like she wants control, but instead, to feel like she is more important to you than pool. I would NEVER threaten divorce. That only confirms to her that she lacks value in your eyes, and that she can either let you do what you want or else.
 
As you know I have been married three times myself so I feel your pain.
My advice would be to run. Run like the wind. Run like shit through a goose. Run faster than a cheap watch. Do whatever you have to do. Just run. It's your only chance.
You cannot be happy doing what she wishes you to do, and likewise, she cannot be happy doing what you would wish her to do. It just won't work that way.
Go buy yourself a new pair of Nikes, and hit the road. :smile:
 
mantis99 said:
I disagree! I don't think it sounds like she wants control, but instead, to feel like she is more important to you than pool. I would NEVER threaten divorce. That only confirms to her that she lacks value in your eyes, and that she can either let you do what you want or else.
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Can he tell her he values her and then go play pool? Taking away his pool time while she does her stuff isn't justified by not feeling valued.
 
Women don't understand why men need to play pool, just like they don't understand how a man can go shopping for shoes and be done in 5 minutes.

JV
 
I have a pool table right in the living room. My gf watches the Filipino channel while I'm gambling with a buddy playing 9 ball. I kiss her in between games.

Even when she's cooking I'm only 15 feet away playing the ghost and talking to her.

She is 4 foot 5 and can't stroke a cue at all. My plan is to get her one of those cues that shoot with a push of a button and I can tell her when her aim looks good. Girls have fun if you tell them when their aim is correct and they are making balls.
 
What it comes down to is not that she is trying to stop you from playing pool... Its that she is trying to get you to give up something you love and have been doing for a long time (since before you met her?).

I have been in relationships like that before and I will never make that mistake again. If someone loves you they will work with you for a hobby that you really love.

I obviously do not know both sides of the argument though and if you aren't truly balancing your life correctly then the blame is on you as well as her.
 
relationships

Ask her how much she wants to end the relationship.
Give her the money and let her go..................................................................................
The sad part of this is it might be the best advice you get.


My wife and I was in our boat fishing on the snake river , this other fisherman that was drifting down river in his boat had sheared the pin on his propeller on the rocks and was yelling at me if he could borrow my orr,

I looked at him and said , Hell that aint no whore, That my wife .
In this case my x wife. Maybe he already knew her :eek:

Are you into trades, I have a wife that (eat, oops ) cut the grass and replace and shape tips.

MMike
 
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