There are a lot of good replies in this thread. And a few very bad ones. I'm glad I'm not the only twit who worked so hard he forgot he was married, ignored all of the signs, spent what little energy I had left on my own interests, ended up divorced, angry, and thinking, "I'll just go find another wife."
If you (anyone reading this) think you are fine without your wife, watch her go out on her first date with another man. If that doesn't bother you, you're ready for divorce.
Charlie, I'll go against the communal grain and say go to counseling. Alone. You have things you need to work out about you. I feel bad for you, you're still at the start of that emotional roller coaster. Buddies aren't going to give you the advice you need anymore than PoolKiller can teach you about pool.
What I learned from my marriage took years to even put together in any kind of order so I could avoid it happening again. And trust me, if you don't learn this time there's always another good relationship or marriage just around the corner waiting to get ruined. Those who fail to learn are doomed to repeat the same mistakes again and again.
By the time a woman asks you to stop putting so much time into your hobby she's already fed up. When she gets her own, she's searching for someone to understand, and for you to notice she's walking away. By the time she asks for divorce you've been given dozens of chances and just never seen them. Learning to communicate with a woman is very hard for men because we don't work the same way. It's more than, "yes, dear", taking out the trash, and working out self-time schedules.
If any of this concerns you, talk to your wife and don't cut her off. Let her speak. You don't have to win every argument.
