marriage vs. pool smh

being able to enjoy yourself is worth alot ...:D
thanks to fellow azer primo for the pic
priceless.jpg
 
KoolKat9Lives said:
What @ letting her read this thread - when you feel she may be open to being open? You've been completely honest, I don't recall anything you said that a spouse shouldn't be able to absorb. And there's been the full gamut of heartfelt experience posted.

Best of luck,


Matt
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She may not like to hear that he's been thinking about divorce for several years.
 
Also, since she followed you to Korea, there has got to be some impact about that.

Sounds like the only reason you are there is you/ your career. That has got to form a basis, from her perspective, to feel your life together is much about you. I know its not as simple as that: your career allows you to provide for the two of you and all, but remember, she picked up and moved to friggin KOREA for the marriage.

I don't think a bit of a consideration for that is unreasonable to ask.

And about her reading the thread? She is going to read it knowing that it is a bunch of people who share your enthusiasm for pool. I don't think anything here is going to be an epiphany to her.
 
Funny.. The hubs and I had some hard times, on my hubs suggestions we saw a counselor she suggested we do something together so we started date night playing pool once a week. A year later we bought our pol table. We enjoy playing pool at home during league nights its hard to spend time together but we do have fun with friends. Next month we celebrate 18 years :D

Don't assume you will ever know what the counelor will suggest
center pocket said:
Thanks for everyone's inputs. I really liked all the different perspectives that were given. I asked this forum because this is a unique problem that I don't feel a regular counselor will understand. I new some of you on here would help me out. We are going to talk calmly today and I am going to try to be as honest as possible about my feelings and her feelings too.



Wish me luck.
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Sent from my Lumia 800 using Board Express
 
the last two houses ive bought, my wife and I sat down to write out a list of things we wanted in a house before we went house shopping. My list was short:
"one room 14x18 minimum that will be used for a pool table".

I will admit that I do not get anywhere near the sharpness in my game that can only come with hours spent in competition against others, but it has been a fair compromise that I am able to play pool while still making the wife happy that i'm at home. Even at home, there is still a competition for attention that pool loses alot vs her, but not always.

Side benefit is that I have greatly decreased my risk of lung cancer in the last 15 years of mostly just home play.

Ive often thought that marriage vs pool has been very similar to career vs pool in that pool has to be put on the sidelines when necessary if you want to have a happy balance in your life. The hard part is learning to recognize when its time to set aside pool and focus on other things. I havent always been so successful in that.
 
I just had to come back and re-read this entire thread ! So many perspectives! Honestly, we all can say what we want from our own experiences, but clearly each one is unique. I can agree with the premise to do what makes you happy,HOWEVER; marriage is a duty for a male. We need to provide, protect, and give vision for the future wellness of the family.
I for one am glad I am single again too! :smile:
Life is sooooooooo much simpler, and less stressful.

Run the Century said:
All I can say is that its SO much easier being single. I played pool all day today and had donuts for dinner. Fade that.
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Tramp Steamer said:
Ain't it the truth. I played pool all day today and had pizza.
Tomorrow is donut day. :smile:
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^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Wed. night is "wing-night" at the local pub! They have 3 BB's there too ! :grin:
 
Dunnn51 said:
IHOWEVER; marriage is a duty for a male. We need to provide, protect, and give vision for the future wellness of the family.
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The feminist movement has changed all that. Now unless there is a child involved there is essentially no family. Just you and your interests VS a nag/hag/bag who wants it all.

JC
 
I think the majority of wives dont have a hobby. If they had something that they were into they might have a better understanding.
 
bnall said:
I think the majority of wives dont have a hobby. If they had something that they were into they might have a better understanding.
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Correction: I think a majority of wives do not have a "passionate" hobby. They have trivial hobbies like scrapbooking, watching housewives of Orange Count and the Kardashians. I don't think many wives can comprehend a game/hobby that's so demanding and obsessive.
 
It's not just in pool, but in sports and hobbies in general. If you're going to be a competitor and want to stay at the top of your game, it's tough to juggle with personal life.
 
Dunnn51 said:
I just had to come back and re-read this entire thread ! So many perspectives! Honestly, we all can say what we want from our own experiences, but clearly each one is unique. I can agree with the premise to do what makes you happy,HOWEVER; marriage is a duty for a male. We need to provide, protect, and give vision for the future wellness of the family.
I for one am glad I am single again too! :smile:
Life is sooooooooo much simpler, and less stressful.
Wed. night is "wing-night" at the local pub! They have 3 BB's there too ! :grin:
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Dunnn, my old friend, if they'd give out free cigars we'd be in heaven. :smile:
 
center pocket said:
So I have been married for 5 years now to my wife. I love her very much but she has never attempted to try and get involved with pool in anyway. If anything she always says it competes with my time for her. I am a man and i think all men have something they do as a hobby and enjoy throughout their lives, whatever it may be. Mine is pool, and man do I enjoy playing it.

Fast forward to today. Pool was conflicting with taking time from her because I have been playing alot lately. I feel I have jumped a ball in speed and have been practicing alot to ensure I can keep this speed. So we sat down and worked out a schedule last week to deconflict my two pool nights a week and her zumba and yoga classes that happen 5 days a week. I even moved my gambling night from Tuesdays to Mondays to accommodate. Now tonight is pool league, she immediately tries to make me feel like I am not a good husband if I don't stay home with her and give up league. I reference the schedule we made and she says it doesn't matter. This argument eventually ended with her saying "maybe I should have picked someone else."

I am so tired of this. I know many pool players and probably forum members on here have been divorced because of pool. I have thought of divorce for several years but I really love her to death. That being said I when I am not practicing or competing I am thinking about practicing or competing even when I am home with her. What is your guy's advice?
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I am late to this thread, and I intentionly have not read any replies.

I can tell you without reservation and without hesitation, this has nothing
to do with pool.

Dale
 
pdcue said:
I am late to this thread, and I intentionly have not read any replies.

I can tell you without reservation and without hesitation, this has nothing
to do with pool.

Dale
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I totally agree.

I mean, if my girlfriend did yoga every day, I don't think pool would be an issue.
 
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