Never chalk up before you miscue
:wink:
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best pool one liners
- Thread starter BWColeman
- Start date
Keith McCready
Pro Player
I couldn't help myself reading this particular thread about the one liners. There's a lot of players that I've run across that had some famous one liners, myself included. I always had to throw in some type of sarcasm to whoever I played. It was just my nature. That's how I rolled. Not to hurt anybody, but a lot of times, sayings would come up when people missed balls, and you could get away with it.
There's a few players that really come to mind that were really funny. Ronnie Allen definitely a one liner man. Anybody could say anything when Ronnie was around, and Ronnie would always have something to say back, a witty reply. Cole Dickson, his famous saying, "Dabbit, Jones. Put that in the pipe and smoke it." That's when he'd make a good shot. Eddie Burton had so many one liners, and so did New York Blackie. David Sizemore is another one. But the king of one liners in my opinion, hands down, is Minnesota Fats.
Long time ago when pot was soaring, me and Buddy Hall would always get ahold of some of that killer bud, especially to go watch Minnesota Fats talk. We just died laughing every time Fatty would say something, but the one famous line I always will remember is when he made his appearance to the pool room, he looked at all the cars in the parking lot, and he would walk in the door and make some crack about nobody's got gamble, nobody's got money, and then would say, "And you know how I know that? I can look at the parking lot. Everybody drives up here in a Corvair or a Volkswagen Beetle, and but the the difference between me and them is I drive up here in a Duesenberg." Buddy and I would crack up laughing when Fatty would say that, and when Buddy laughed, you could hear him a mile away. You knew it was the Buddy laugh.
Just thought I'd share that with you guys. I wish everybody on the AzBilliards forum a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope every New Year's resolution works for you.
Earthquake out.
There's a few players that really come to mind that were really funny. Ronnie Allen definitely a one liner man. Anybody could say anything when Ronnie was around, and Ronnie would always have something to say back, a witty reply. Cole Dickson, his famous saying, "Dabbit, Jones. Put that in the pipe and smoke it." That's when he'd make a good shot. Eddie Burton had so many one liners, and so did New York Blackie. David Sizemore is another one. But the king of one liners in my opinion, hands down, is Minnesota Fats.
Long time ago when pot was soaring, me and Buddy Hall would always get ahold of some of that killer bud, especially to go watch Minnesota Fats talk. We just died laughing every time Fatty would say something, but the one famous line I always will remember is when he made his appearance to the pool room, he looked at all the cars in the parking lot, and he would walk in the door and make some crack about nobody's got gamble, nobody's got money, and then would say, "And you know how I know that? I can look at the parking lot. Everybody drives up here in a Corvair or a Volkswagen Beetle, and but the the difference between me and them is I drive up here in a Duesenberg." Buddy and I would crack up laughing when Fatty would say that, and when Buddy laughed, you could hear him a mile away. You knew it was the Buddy laugh.
Just thought I'd share that with you guys. I wish everybody on the AzBilliards forum a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope every New Year's resolution works for you.
Earthquake out.
Keith you really need to get your book going. And I say that from a jealous standpoint. Earthquake Unleashed.
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After missing a bank: The bank's not open....make a night deposit, it will go in tomorrow.
A friend and I hear that some guy walked into the tournament room and declared that he will play anybody for any amount and any race. My friend says "I will play him a race to 10 for $1"
Someone gets down to check if a ball will go past another, then says you can drive a truck through there. I counter with "but you can steer a truck"
A friend and I hear that some guy walked into the tournament room and declared that he will play anybody for any amount and any race. My friend says "I will play him a race to 10 for $1"
Someone gets down to check if a ball will go past another, then says you can drive a truck through there. I counter with "but you can steer a truck"
One Liners
I played a guy one night and won 2,400. It was early in the morning and Kenny Dodd and I went into a 24 hour restaurant and had breakfast. I had 4,400 on me with two fifty dollar bills and the rest was in hundreds. Since I waded the money in my pocket I couldn't find one of the fifty dollar bills so I took out all of the money and laid it on the cashiers counter. The lady said that's a lot of money and I replied that we were gambling. She then said man you won a lot of money and Kenny immediately replied "No we lost that's what we have left".
I played a guy one night and won 2,400. It was early in the morning and Kenny Dodd and I went into a 24 hour restaurant and had breakfast. I had 4,400 on me with two fifty dollar bills and the rest was in hundreds. Since I waded the money in my pocket I couldn't find one of the fifty dollar bills so I took out all of the money and laid it on the cashiers counter. The lady said that's a lot of money and I replied that we were gambling. She then said man you won a lot of money and Kenny immediately replied "No we lost that's what we have left".
One-Liners.........
Keith,
I agree with you, that you have just mentioned some of the best one-line generators in the history of our sport. I would simply add that you are a tad modest, and are certainly to be included in the august company you mentioned in your post.
I hope you and JAM have a great Holiday season. :thumbup: :thumbup:
Will Prout
Keith,
I agree with you, that you have just mentioned some of the best one-line generators in the history of our sport. I would simply add that you are a tad modest, and are certainly to be included in the august company you mentioned in your post.
I hope you and JAM have a great Holiday season. :thumbup: :thumbup:
Will Prout
I remember Jim saying that!
LOL.. Love Fatty.
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People just aren't made this way anymore.
Lesh
"I don't care what you people think he's got y'all fooled Tim's a undercover hustler "
"He can't play? ..... when he plays me he plays like God "
" Tim didn't do anything fancy or dazzling, he just didn't miss"
My favorite "I ain't in this ..... to break even ""
And i love pretty boy Floyd "" its about the cash, ill take the cash wtf you gonna do with a trophy "" lol
"Im the next best thing to winning the lottery to these ....suckers, Goofy mc glothin "
All time best quote "" you got my time, right? "" i like to pay my buddies pool time with thier money an get credit for it.
i think win or lose you should pay your own time, "we ain't on no date" lmao tim lastdimetaker majors...
"He can't play? ..... when he plays me he plays like God "
" Tim didn't do anything fancy or dazzling, he just didn't miss"
My favorite "I ain't in this ..... to break even ""
And i love pretty boy Floyd "" its about the cash, ill take the cash wtf you gonna do with a trophy "" lol
"Im the next best thing to winning the lottery to these ....suckers, Goofy mc glothin "
All time best quote "" you got my time, right? "" i like to pay my buddies pool time with thier money an get credit for it.
i think win or lose you should pay your own time, "we ain't on no date" lmao tim lastdimetaker majors...
Every now and then in APA leagues, some yo-yo will miss a ball so bad...it will go around the table three or more rails...miss every ball near its path...kiss off another ball and slop into an unintended pocket, to which I usually reply (in as calm a voice as I can muster):
"That's the way I'd have shot it".
Maniac
"That's the way I'd have shot it".
Maniac
My broker is E F Hutton and E F Hutton says ...
A sucker in action says, "Wow, how'd you make that shot?"
Hustler says, "The game is for $10. Lessons are extra."
A player says to his opponent, "Say, that's a nice cue.
Opponent says,"Thanks, unfortunately it didn't come with instructions."
A player cleanly runs out a tough table and his opponent says, "That right there was stronger than cat piss."
A spectator yells to Minnesota Fats, "Stop talking and start shooting!" Fats replies, "When I talk, E F Hutton listens." (for those of you old enough to remember the commercial)
A sucker in action says, "Wow, how'd you make that shot?"
Hustler says, "The game is for $10. Lessons are extra."
A player says to his opponent, "Say, that's a nice cue.
Opponent says,"Thanks, unfortunately it didn't come with instructions."
A player cleanly runs out a tough table and his opponent says, "That right there was stronger than cat piss."
A spectator yells to Minnesota Fats, "Stop talking and start shooting!" Fats replies, "When I talk, E F Hutton listens." (for those of you old enough to remember the commercial)
I wonder if this is Fats' Duesenberg.
Attachments
one liners
I've put bigger balls in tighter holes than that before...
Teaching my girlfriend to shoot pool one day a buddy yells from across the room how much are the lessons I respond "she gives me blowjobs" he didn't want any lessons....
A gentlemen I beat a couple times a week, any time I play safe he responds with " not this hide the weenie shit again" love that one.
After shitting a ball " I forgot I even knew that shot."
"this guy needs a greenbay cheesehead hat"
I've put bigger balls in tighter holes than that before...
Teaching my girlfriend to shoot pool one day a buddy yells from across the room how much are the lessons I respond "she gives me blowjobs" he didn't want any lessons....
A gentlemen I beat a couple times a week, any time I play safe he responds with " not this hide the weenie shit again" love that one.
After shitting a ball " I forgot I even knew that shot."
"this guy needs a greenbay cheesehead hat"
After playing a lock-up safety I try on my Sean Connery accent and say "Welcome to the Rock". I bet you even read that in a Scottish accent! lol