Fatboy said:
Keep it up! Keep it up! You've found your true calling in life, humorist!
Funny BSers busted
- Thread starter bfdlad
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Keep it up! Keep it up! You've found your true calling in life, humorist!
JoeyA said:I can't count the number of times that players have said to me, "I'll play you some one pocket for $50 a game" and then when you tell them you are ready to play, their leg's become a blur running away.
i.e. THE GINGERBREAD MAN. busted.
JoeyA
Reminds me of the guy who woofed and woofed to play for big money, and when I told him he could pick any amount, he said $200 a set. And another guy who was offered plane fare to fly in and play some big money pool, but he couldn't come because he couldn't get his wife's permission to go.
BUSTED!!!!
Thats classic, I am the man around my house and if I want to do the washing up before I do the ironing I WILL! And she won't say a darn thing about it.jay helfert said:Reminds me of the guy who woofed and woofed to play for big money, and when I told him he could pick any amount, he said $200 a set. And another guy who was offered plane fare to fly in and play some big money pool, but he couldn't come because he couldn't get his wife's permission to go.
BUSTED!!!!
It's not time of year, it's time of day!
It isn't time of year, it is time of day. Usually by about the witching hour the deer have grown too big to be deer so they just naturally turn into elk. I do have to say that slight exaggeration is a long tradition of hunters. I was looking at some ten thousand year old pictographs and the elk or whatever they were all had racks that went back the full length of their body! Trophy hunters in 8000BC? Who woulda thunk it?
Hu
desert1pocket said:
It isn't time of year, it is time of day. Usually by about the witching hour the deer have grown too big to be deer so they just naturally turn into elk. I do have to say that slight exaggeration is a long tradition of hunters. I was looking at some ten thousand year old pictographs and the elk or whatever they were all had racks that went back the full length of their body! Trophy hunters in 8000BC? Who woulda thunk it?
Hu
I have to say I got totally had by an old guy who is a friend of my Father in law. In England we have never heard of the BS story of a Jackalope. Being in the USA for a number of years I have maybe heard the term but never got too much into it. So We are at this guys house and he has a stuffed Jackalope head on his wall. I was amazed, and with a straight face he explained that they were no longer in AZ but are very common in Montana. So I am looking at a rabbit with antlers and now know that these are strange creatures that can only be found in Montana. So my money making mind got to work and before long I had my father in law and his buddy and myself talking about what the cost would be to get a Jackalope farm up and running. I was reasured that they were not endangered and that I could not get into any trouble. They would help me for only 10% of the business as long as I funded it. As embarressed as I am I even gave then a check for $200.00 to get a hunting licence in Montana. I have no idea how they kept their faces straight but did, I am a smart guy believe it or not and some people on AZ who know me will testify to my business dealings. When I went home I could not wait to tell the wife about this new enterprize. She just shook her head and called her dad and told him to give the check back. Anyway, not sure who was busted for BS here but. I can't be around those guys anymore without some asking about when Jackalope season is or How the farm is coming along.ShootingArts said:It isn't time of year, it is time of day. Usually by about the witching hour the deer have grown too big to be deer so they just naturally turn into elk. I do have to say that slight exaggeration is a long tradition of hunters. I was looking at some ten thousand year old pictographs and the elk or whatever they were all had racks that went back the full length of their body! Trophy hunters in 8000BC? Who woulda thunk it?
Hu
vLude99 said:I am playing at my school pool room which has some nice brunswick 9' btw. I'm just shooting some balls for fun. Not practice or anything, just to hit some. A guy comes up to me and says "want a couple of games"? I said "sure, why not?" He racks the 9 rack with the 9 in front and 1 in the middle. So I was like..."whatever" and just broke it anyways trying to pocket the 1 into the side. "Man that was close!!!"
He was a banger and you could tell because his cue is all shaky and had that cigar bridge. So I start some random convo just to talk and asks him how long he's been playing for..etc. He say a couple of years and that he used to play many tournaments and consistently comes in atleast in 2nd place. He continues "I haven't played for a while so I'm not that good anymore"...sure bddy. Just then the cueball ended up frozen on the rail. He casually placed the butt of the house cue between the cue ball and the rail and shooting.
what a load of crap.
He could have come in 2nd place, I have seen local tournament that only had 2 entries
LOL,This is a great story...thx...bfdlad said:
Off the topic abit....this reminds me of my youth......I was about 10 years old when I convinced my parents to buy me a hamster.We go out buy this rodent with cage,food,the whole works.That same night my mom wakes me up at midnight and says there is something wrong with this hamster because the CHEEKS ARE BULGING OUT AND HUGE.We all think this thing has some sorta disease,so my dad takes it out to the alley and drops a massive rock on it.The next day my mom is telling a coworker about this and she BURTS OUT LAUGHING.
P.S.We are not stupid by any means we just had no idea thats where they store their food.lol
jay helfert said:Reminds me of the guy who woofed and woofed to play for big money, and when I told him he could pick any amount, he said $200 a set. And another guy who was offered plane fare to fly in and play some big money pool, but he couldn't come because he couldn't get his wife's permission to go.
BUSTED!!!!
Yo GingerBread Man,
I assumed that playing you for big money was an OPEN OFFER, meaning that any time I feel froggy to jump, right?
JoeyA
Jackalope are a myth but . . .
My uncle had a country store that was the last stop in the morning before a big island leased to a hunting club and of course the first stop for beer in the evening. He had a bunch of interesting mounts on the wall. One was a huge loggerhead turtle skull. He always claimed it was a bear skull and few ever doubted. He also had a full deer skull and antlers on the wall. As it happened another set of antlers fitted the eye sockets perfectly. He always claimed that to be an Arkansas deer. Having people in a group agreeing with him and helping explain to their buddies that this was the way the deer were in Arkansas was always priceless.
Sorry about the jackalope idea not panning out. To make up for it come on down and JoeyA and I will take you snipe hunting. This isn't the woodcock but a fairly large bird that roosts on the ground and won't fly at night. All you need is to set up in a good spot at night with the burlap sack between your legs and Joey and I will make a loop and herd the snipe into the sack. Works every time.
Hu
My uncle had a country store that was the last stop in the morning before a big island leased to a hunting club and of course the first stop for beer in the evening. He had a bunch of interesting mounts on the wall. One was a huge loggerhead turtle skull. He always claimed it was a bear skull and few ever doubted. He also had a full deer skull and antlers on the wall. As it happened another set of antlers fitted the eye sockets perfectly. He always claimed that to be an Arkansas deer. Having people in a group agreeing with him and helping explain to their buddies that this was the way the deer were in Arkansas was always priceless.
Sorry about the jackalope idea not panning out. To make up for it come on down and JoeyA and I will take you snipe hunting. This isn't the woodcock but a fairly large bird that roosts on the ground and won't fly at night. All you need is to set up in a good spot at night with the burlap sack between your legs and Joey and I will make a loop and herd the snipe into the sack. Works every time.
Hu
bfdlad said:
ShootingArts said:
FTR, what Hu says is true and this bird is excellent eating and primarily lives in the flat marshlands of Louisiana. There are hundreds of thousands of these birds in and around the greater New Orleans area so catching a mess of them is no big chore but unique enough to give it a shot. It is only slightly more fun than catching shrimp with a cast net.
JoeyA
jay helfert said:
Jay are you related to any of those ledgends my dad beat?
Those were fun posts, even the Great Barry Szamboti got a laugh.
Where I got the idea was, there was a poster on a bodybuilding board that would come with a story like that but about BBing every month or so, his posts would give what I did the 5 and the break or more, he did have the charcter "Rotti" his chauffer/bodyguard in all of the stories a funny central recurring charcter and they had a similiar theme, he would change the names of prominanate people in the sport and make up great stories, he could devlope the personalitys of the people in his stories fast. I doubt I could ever find them as he posted them 6 or 7 years ago on a board thats gone. Man thay were great, i'll work on this and make a few more if I can, they arnt easy.
On one condition, you guys have to come on a good haggis hunt with me. Many Americans have no idea what a haggis is but some have heard of it. Ir is like the size of a soccer ball but all hairy and it runs only clockwise around the mountains of scotland. Due to this the haggis has evolved to its conditions and it's left leg is shorter than the rightso that it stays level at all times. The Austrailian Haggis due to the equator or whatever runs anti clockwise so the right leg is shorter. Lots of fun. Ok I see I maybe should have kept my mouth shut on the Jackalope story you ar already jamming me on it.ShootingArts said:
No problem just make sure I don't catch you or hear about you falling for something coz I will be getting my own back. 
Haggis Hunting
You are so busted! I don't think that you have ever actually seen a Haggis. Because they run clockwise in Scotland, it's their right leg that is shorter. I have this on good authority! Also, it's "counter-clockwise", what kind of made-up word is "anti-clockwise"? And finally, as much fun as the Haggis are to hunt, I just can't seem to make myself eat it when served.bfdlad said:On one condition, you guys have to come on a good haggis hunt with me. Many Americans have no idea what a haggis is but some have heard of it. Ir is like the size of a soccer ball but all hairy and it runs only clockwise around the mountains of scotland. Due to this the haggis has evolved to its conditions and it's left leg is shorter than the rightso that it stays level at all times. The Austrailian Haggis due to the equator or whatever runs anti clockwise so the right leg is shorter. Lots of fun. Ok I see I maybe should have kept my mouth shut on the Jackalope story you ar already jamming me on it.
did no one get this joke???
I was thinking that atleast one person would find this funny?????
Jaden said:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A long time ago I was in this pool hall in San Diego, I think it was called college times or something like that and this guy WEARING A GLOVE is playing. I hear him talking about how he's considering playing professionally and how he runs over a hundred consistently in 14.1 and I'm trying not to laugh. I think his name was like John Schmidt or something like that.....
I was thinking that atleast one person would find this funny?????
no haggis hunt for me!
Down in south Louisiana we eat almost anything but one of my neighbors cooked one of those haggis things and not only could nobody eat it but the neighborhood had to be evacuated for six blocks downwind and two and a half blocks upwind. I'll stick to regular food like alligator, nutria, possum, and armadillo with the occasional spotted owl for variety.
Hu
PS: The New Orleans(Audubon) zoo was closed for an extra three months after Katrina because they couldn't find the recipes to put in front of some of the animal enclosures and had to get Mawmaw Boudreaux to write them down again. Unfortunately a lot of animals were lost in testing.
Down in south Louisiana we eat almost anything but one of my neighbors cooked one of those haggis things and not only could nobody eat it but the neighborhood had to be evacuated for six blocks downwind and two and a half blocks upwind. I'll stick to regular food like alligator, nutria, possum, and armadillo with the occasional spotted owl for variety.
Hu
PS: The New Orleans(Audubon) zoo was closed for an extra three months after Katrina because they couldn't find the recipes to put in front of some of the animal enclosures and had to get Mawmaw Boudreaux to write them down again. Unfortunately a lot of animals were lost in testing.
bfdlad said:On one condition, you guys have to come on a good haggis hunt with me. Many Americans have no idea what a haggis is but some have heard of it. Ir is like the size of a soccer ball but all hairy and it runs only clockwise around the mountains of scotland. Due to this the haggis has evolved to its conditions and it's left leg is shorter than the rightso that it stays level at all times. The Austrailian Haggis due to the equator or whatever runs anti clockwise so the right leg is shorter. Lots of fun. Ok I see I maybe should have kept my mouth shut on the Jackalope story you ar already jamming me on it.
I got confused sorry. you are right on the legs. You have to remember the speed at which I was running at the time. I did not have a license, I was on someone elses property (poaching) and those little f*7^%ers move fast once they get your there. You are right though. Good stuff to eat it is a delicacy among hethans, tinkers and cow theives. I'm amazed that you do not like it for that reason alone Wolfwolfgun said: