Funny BSers busted

i just got in from the pool room, I was playing that pro guy....ummmm Efren Reynolds from Malyasia anyways I was giving him the 6 and the break, using my Baluboti that Gus Strombroli built for him back in 72, the one my dad used to beat Tattoo Jay Helbent in 74 for like $50,000 he was on the road with Biscuts and Gravy Matuhews the twins from Colorado. Anyways I beat Efren Reynolds 12-5 for $300, I gave him the breaks or is it the racks too so I didnt have to screw on the hitting tip all the time. God I'm so good,

anyone here ever hear of Tattoo Jay Helbent, my dad has since passed away but I often worried about him as my dad kept beating him for so many years, atually it was my grandfather,,,,Afro Jay wait I mean Tattoo Jay is real old, Afro Jay was Tattoo's son, They sure did talk alot, I was kinda young to remember them, but I do remember that. I think.


anyways back to Efren Reynolds he was telling me about this pro with a Cue-Tec, I cant remember his name but Efren said he never saw anyone play so good, so becareful out there playing guys with cue-tecs,
 
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Russ Chewning said:
(Showing my musical ignorance) Isn't Billie Holliday a woman soul singer, who had a real bad problem with drugs? Sang around the 40's or 50's, right?

If so, I was thinking about downloading some of her stuff on ITunes....

Russ
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Right.... except that I would call her a jazz singer who sang with a ton of soul. Many consider her to be the best. I like her rendition of Love For Sale, and God Bless The Child Who's Got His Own... among others that aren't coming to mind.
 
bfdlad said:
He must not know what he is talking about, Everyone knows that Earl Rodriguez ran 97 racks back to back, he did it after his arm amputation and while he was sick with the flu. He also had one eye closed due to pink eye. I was there I saw it myself I have the cue he used and he got it from Fats. I held the money and when I asked he wanted the 7 so I let it go. This was in 1935.
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I met a young guy in a bar (21-23) and he's shooting with an el cheapo McDermott. He's shooting shots 1 handed and generally banging them around. I'm talking to him over the course of the night and he tells me a story about being in a pool hall in Philly as a kid, and an "old guy" was so impressed with his play that he gave him the McD...That "old guy" was Fats...:rolleyes: I didn't call BS because Fats had spent some time in Philly, and he was alive when this guy was young, so it coulda happened (IMO the best part of a BS story is the coulda happened factor), but his story smelled bad. Ran into him a year later asked him to tell my friend his "Fats story" and got a completely different rendition....it was all I could do not to laugh in his face...

Banger
 
I got you all beat!!!!!

A long time ago I was in this pool hall in San Diego, I think it was called college times or something like that and this guy WEARING A GLOVE is playing. I hear him talking about how he's considering playing professionally and how he runs over a hundred consistently in 14.1 and I'm trying not to laugh. I think his name was like John Schmidt or something like that.....:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)
 
jay helfert said:
Overheard from K Tru-do at Hard Times in early IPT days. "My high run is 203 balls". A listener then asked him to play some Straight Pool with him. He declines stating he is "out of stroke". A little while later he's seen practicing with Mike Sigel, and can't run more than four or five balls. When he notices people are watching he hangs up his cue. BUSTED!
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Good ol' KT! I'm still convinced that he's Fast Larry's illegitimate son - I mean Kevin was adopted and everything, and they do have a lot in common...
;)

FWIW, I'll spot Kevin 50 balls to 100 for what ever he's willing to put up. I say he can't/has never run 50, nevermind 200.

This offer has been out there for Kevin Trudeau for almost 2 years now. I haven't heard anything from him. I don't expect to, either.
 
I got you all beat!!!!!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A long time ago I was in this pool hall in San Diego, I think it was called college times or something like that and this guy WEARING A GLOVE is playing. I hear him talking about how he's considering playing professionally and how he runs over a hundred consistently in 14.1 and I'm trying not to laugh. I think his name was like John Schmidt or something like that.....:) :) :) :) :) :)
 
ha

RunoutalloverU said:
I was playing this old banger, and he sees me play, and that usually gets them to start talking to me, he said he was in a game one time with this guy playing for 500, and he lost and had to give up his cuetec to cover the bet, I said so you still owe the guy 350?
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NOW THAT FUNNY, I DONT CARE WHO YOU ARE!!!!:D :D :D :D :D
 
Fatboy is BUSTED!!!

Everybody knows the guy's name is really Efrem Reynolds!

Hu


Fatboy said:
i just got in from the pool room, I was playing that pro guy....ummmm Efren Reynolds from Malyasia anyways I was giving him the 6 and the break, using my Baluboti that Gus Strombroli built for him back in 72, the one my dad used to beat Tattoo Jay Helbent in 74 for like $50,000 he was on the road with Biscuts and Gravy Matuhews the twins from Colorado. Anyways I beat Efren Reynolds 12-5 for $300, I gave him the breaks or is it the racks too so I didnt have to screw on the hitting tip all the time. God I'm so good,

anyone here ever hear of Tattoo Jay Helbent, my dad has since passed away but I often worried about him as my dad kept beating him for so many years, atually it was my grandfather,,,,Afro Jay wait I mean Tattoo Jay is real old, Afro Jay was Tattoo's son, They sure did talk alot, I was kinda young to remember them, but I do remember that. I think.


anyways back to Efren Reynolds he was telling me about this pro with a Cue-Tec, I cant remember his name but Efren said he never saw anyone play so good, so becareful out there playing guys with cue-tecs,
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My friends Dad's uncle, has a sister and her husband's step Mom once danced with a guy who taught Fats how to play.
 
another adams balabushka story..........was shooting beside a guy and struck up a convo. He seemed fairly knowledgeable at first, talked about pool on tv, could name players,etc. Then told me about his friend who shoots "really good" and who had just paid like $2k for a custom cue. He then says "when he showed me his cue, i had to break his heart and show him this".......and he hands me his cue---an adams balabuska. Evidently he thought he had a real one lol. I didnt wanna burst his bubble so i just told him it was nice lol.
 
$$$$$$$

$$$$$$$$$$I REMEMBER ANOTHER TIME$$$$$$$my dad was shooting pool all over the Bay Area $$$ he wasnt using the Baulabuti with those magnificant wonerful screw on tips$$$$$he was just using a broom$$$$$when some guy later on to be known as CORNFED$$$$$ ON THAT THING CALLED THE INTERNET$$$$$ CAME WALKING IN, IT WAS DEC 29 1966 IN CASTRO VALLEY, $$$$$$, HE DROPPED HIS WIFE OFF AT EDEN HOSPITAL $$$$$$ http://www.edenmedcenter.org/ $$$$$$ IT WAS 735AM AND SOME FULL OF $$$$ & SHIT GUY FATBOY WAS BORN, ANYWAYS WHILE she WAS STRUGGLING WITH DR. $$$$$ SLATER AND HIS KNIFE-I JUST WOULDNT COME OUT THE NORMAL WAY. $$$$$$$$ My dad was at the pool room shooting CORNTOOTHS nuts $$$$$ off, it was the best/worst day of my dads life he won MILLIONS $$$$$$$$ usning a broom, man that guy CORNFED $$$$$$ sucked, he wouldnt even flip a coin???? MY DAD HAD HEART GOING TO THE POOL ROOM AT 735am $$$$$$, CaN you IMAGINE and then had to meet "FATCHEEKS" back at the hospital afterwards-but since they were taking CORNFED$$$ to the hospital after he GOT BEAT, SOMETHING ABOUT HIS FRONT TOOTH WASNT RIGHT HE BIT HIS LIP REAL BAD WHILE HE WENT OFF, DAD PICKED ME ans MOM up it all timed out perfectly- I guess I pumped up dad that day, After that it was all a Blurr to me. BUT I DO FEel LIKE I GOT DAD FIRED UP TO BEAT $$$$$$CORNYFACE $$$$$$$$$$$. I HAVE TRYED MY BEST TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE TO GET SOME OF IT BACK, now that he $$$$$$is back on his feet$$$$$(YEARS LATER)$$$$$

AFTER THAT $$$$$$$$ SCORE my dad soon moved to San Diego and then the ACTION with AFRO JAY Started, MY DAD BOUGHT A ROLLS ROYCE and hired a driver named "Rottie" AS A BODY GUARD, AFTER BUSTING $$$$$$$ THAT CORNFED GUY HE NEEDED IT. LAST DAD HEARD $$$$$$ CORNFED was working at some joint on Market street in SF picking gum off the bottoms of the tables and talking to himself alot, Shame....

Rottie the guard was awalys my dads side kick for years after that, He Carried the Baliboti that Gus STrombuti made to all the big $$$$. Noting like being a pro player. Afro Jay Was my dads best customer in the 70's but he was old then too. But no MATTER HOW MUCH $$$$$$ the HELBENTS or HELFARTS LOST they never cried like that CORN GUY $$$$$$$$ DID. GOT RICH with a broomstick one Dec day and had a kid named full of shit named "FATBOY" wow what a day.$$$$$ IF YOU EVER see that gut "FATBOY" or Rottie the chauffer/guard/bank roll carrier see if he'lwill flip a coin. There is no Doubt he has the Baliboti with the SCrewon-tips. Benny Stromboli might start making them again, he is a hell of a guy. He aint his dad neither is Fatboy or Afro Jay but those guys are out there and be careful...
 
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I was digging a hole in my backyard the other day.I dug about 50 feet and came across all sorts of copper wire.Later that day I went to the pool hall and told everyone my father INVENTED the TELEPHONE 60 years ago.
Jay Helfert was pissed right off,marched over to my house and starts digging 50 feet passed my digging and discovers more copper wire.The next day Jay is saying his grandfather INVENTED the telephone 90 years ago.
Earl Strickland is beside himself and bolts over to my house and starts digging 300 feet past Jays digging and discovers nothing.The next day Earl is telling everyone that his great grandfather invented WIRELESS 100 years ago.:eek:
BUSTED.
 
Blackjack said:
About a year ago, I had some idiot come into the pool hall. He's back there on one of the tables missing every other shot. Every so often he kept looking over to the bar to see if we were looking when he actually pocketed a ball. When he did pocket the ball, he strutted around the table like the big rooster in the pen. I didn't pay him any mind, he was just shooting with his girlfriend - I figured he was just a punk trying to impress her.

So, as he was on his way out, he's paying for the table and he sees my cue behind the bar and he complimented it. He started to tell me how he almost went pro but he was too good, how he's beat a lot of the top pros (wow - I had a top roadie in my room and didn't even know it)... and that back home in "Kentucky" he has his own expensive cue. Yep. It's a "Ball-a-reen" and it's worth almost $15,000, which is why he keeps it back in "Kentucky" (Fort Knox, I figured).

:p

He then tells me that he was watching me play the night before last and that if I would practice a little bit more, that someday I might be as good as he is, or as good as some of those pros you see on TV, like "Earl Rodriguez". (who the hell is Earl Rodriguez?)
:p

I put the balls up, cashed him out, gave him his change, the whole time, just biting my tongue and trying real hard not to laugh out loud.

As the guy is walking out, one of my regulars was sitting at the bar with a smile on his face and says, "When it comes to piling up the manure, his mouth sure ain't got nuttin' on a elephant's a$$, huh Dave? Think he wants to play some?"

This kid stopped dead in his tracks, looked at both of us. Then he looked at his girlfriend. She looked at us. We looked back at her... his face turned red as an apple and he ran out of there as fast as he could. He was halfway across the parking lot before she was half way to the door. Never saw him again.
:p
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You get plenty REP for the laughs and for your restraint. :D :D :D
JoeyA
 
bfdlad said:
He must not know what he is talking about, Everyone knows that Earl Rodriguez ran 97 racks back to back, he did it after his arm amputation and while he was sick with the flu. He also had one eye closed due to pink eye. I was there I saw it myself I have the cue he used and he got it from Fats. I held the money and when I asked he wanted the 7 so I let it go. This was in 1935.
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Earl Rodriguez was Bill Braskey's great uncle.
JoeyA
 
I'll play you!

I can't count the number of times that players have said to me, "I'll play you some one pocket for $50 a game" and then when you tell them you are ready to play, their leg's become a blur running away.
i.e. THE GINGERBREAD MAN. busted. :D :D :D

JoeyA
 
JoeyA said:
Earl Rodriguez was Bill Braskey's great uncle.
JoeyA
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thats right, good memory. E-Rod is hell-of-a-player, But I like Efren Reynolds to take it off if they ever play.
 
When you tell someone you play pool and they come back at you with we should play sometime I'm a good player (telling someone you are good means they have no clue) We used to have a pool table at home when we were growing up. If I had a penny for everytime someone has told me they had a table at home when they were kids I would have about 65 cents but thats beside the point. Also as someone else pointed out it seems that aqll the bangers somehow put themselves through school by playing pool. Amazing. I know that some people actually may have but if as many people did as say they did there would be no waiters or bar tenders.
 
I once saw a guy trying to get more weight because he was "so drunk he couldn't see straight". I guess he thought that nobody knew O'douls was non-alcoholic.

Non-pool related. My dad used to be an outfitter in Colorado, and we were taking a group of texans out for a deer hunt. After telling us for hours how knowledgeable they were about the outdoors, and what great hunters they were, one of them asked what time of year the deer turned into elk.
 
Fatboy said:
I played Earl Rodriguez here in Vegas last night. I was using my Baliboti-my dad gave it to me right after he stopped being on the pro tour, I remember when he beat Cowboy Jimmy Reid and Afro Jay Helfart back in the day for like $30,000 using that cue, Afro Jay Harfart was a little known hustler but man did my dad ever beat him, onetime my dad bet him $10,000 that if my dad won Afro Jay had to get a hair cut, if Afro won my dad got the $10,000...i'm kinda confuse about that part but anyways we often wondered what happened to Afro Jay, funny guy my dad said.

now my dad didnt use those water buffalo tips he was smarter and got the scew-on one's Gus Szambuka taught him about that, his son Benny was a hell of a guy. He would use one for the break shot and then un screw it and put on his shooting tip after he made 4 or 5 balls like everytime he broke the balls. Luckly I still have like 50 of those tip left, anyways back to Earl Enriquez he played good, I havent played anyone that good bumber pool in at least a week, I dont know who recovered that table, I haerd there was a fight among the table mechnics and the union might have a strike.


My name is Fatboy and ......."Do you think I need to lose some weight?" ;)
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Your best post yet! Have you given any thought to a pool comedy routine?
 
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